"You just need to ______." This applies whenever it's used, but when it's a response to me telling folks I don't date......die. Just die.
Why it's infuriating: My sister, happily married for 12 years, doesn't need me or anyone to tell her that her spectacular good fortune is "just a patch, it'll be over someday." Even if that were true it would be rude to say it. I have a friend who's only attracted to psycho bitches. I would never casually tell him to simply change his preference, like it's a switch he can flip. How arrogant, right? How presumptuous, how dismissive, how impossibly complicated to dictate the terms of someone else's love life! And yet everybody is fine with playing counselor, disregarding every experience I've ever had as "just bad luck," throwing out trite one-liners as if that will fix everything. Only maybe 30% of the people I know have happy relationships. The successful ones should be smart enough to know that what works for them doesn't necessarily work for anyone else. The unsuccessful ones should know to keep their fucking traps shut about things they fail at. I already know how to fail, and no one can tell me how to succeed. I've dealt with this crap for longer than I dealt with women.
"Blah blah mind-blowing blah blah clickbait." Oh, thanks for lying about the subject of the article. I'll be sure not to go to your site ever again.
"That comment is highly offensive to the _____ community" and other SJW crap. Couple things:
1) If I offend someone, it means they listen. Listening to the other guy is part of civilized conversation. Unfortunately it's the only part SJWs get right.
2) If they disagree, the proper response would be to defeat my statement with reason. Righteous indignation, hurling Googled statistics, straw man arguments, ad hominem, and tu quoque are not reason.
3) Nobody has the right never to be offended. Go ahead and tell me I'm insensitive. All I will ever have to do is fire back that you're too sensitive. The best part is I'm right. Being a SJW means you are regularly deeply offended by casual comments made by total strangers on the Internet. This indicates an irrational inability to accept disagreement and move on, which is a hallmark of immature minds everywhere.
4) Don't waste your time chasing me for an apology. You won't get one. I use words that are real. I don't do bullshit. I don't do touchy-feely. I don't dress things up in euphemisms. I'm not going to start just because you're thin-skinned.
