Phrases That Make You "Cringe"

[Lvl 64 Klutz]

Top of my list easily would be "Oh, that's true too" or "Same difference." Usually said when you prove something someone said was wrong. The second is an oxymoron, first of all, and both statements are just pathetic excuses to not admit that YOU WERE WRONG!

Also, working in retail there are a few statements that make me want to throw things at people's faces.

"Must be free!" (item doesn't scan)
No, it is not free, but suggest that enough and I won't go through the extra work it takes me so you can have your precious sweater.

"You look bored."
"Waiting for me?"
"Want something to do?" (when a customer comes to my empty line)
No. Actually, I was kind of enjoying the few minutes I have to catch my break and daydream a little. Thanks for asking, though.

And the absolute most terrible thing a customer can say to me
(After a customer had a problem and held up my line) "Guess I got in the wrong line!"
YES!! Yes you did! Let me help you take your worthless shit off my belt and take it to a different register, you rude, ungrateful piece of cow dung.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

Being from Essex, anything from this atrocious show called The Only Way Is Essex.

Just, no.

Agreed. 'Reem'? What the fuck is 'reem'? See, the red squiggly line appears when I type it. Even Microsoft can tell that it is not a real word, and you Joey Essex, are a fool.

 

[Wereduck]

"It's all good"
I appreciate that almost any significant event will have its upside and downside, that doesn't mean the downside stops sucking.
Then there's also the point that if all things truly were good then the term would be meaningless.

...and +1 on "bro" provoking visions of fratboy D-bags. I'd like to see the development of a breed of bro-seeking velocirapors to discourage the use of this term. Addressing non-family as "my brother" doesn't bother me in the least, I suppose it's the trivial tone of "bro/bra" that bugs me.

 

[TheDarkestDerp]

I have 2 that I don't like.

I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic but... [insert racist/sexist/homophobic comment here]

No offence but... [insert offensive comment here]

Agreed one-hundred times over. Also, a slight variation on the theme, but one I've heard enoguh times to make me puke in my soup; "I don't want to be rude/sound disrespectful but [insert rude/disrespectful statement here]

 

[Blunderboy]

Being from Essex, anything from this atrocious show called The Only Way Is Essex.

Just, no.

Agreed. 'Reem'? What the fuck is 'reem'? See, the red squiggly line appears when I type it. Even Microsoft can tell that it is not a real word, and you Joey Essex, are a fool.

Exactly. It's not even as though people actually talk like that. At least not before that stupid show.

 

[freakydan]

Literally bothers me to no end, mostly because I almost never hear it used correctly. It means "This phrase, in this exact context, could be taken multiple ways. I mean it in the literal sense." I remember during Britney Spears' little episode a while back, there was some news show where the anchor said "She's literally on a roller coaster to hell." No, sorry bud. No such ride. People seem to think that it's just a word to be used for emphasis.

Basically is getting to be the same way. "Basically" means "I'm simplifying this for you." I was listening to my cousin tell me about his CoD exploits, and he said something like "...and then, I grabbed the shotgun and basically shot him in the face." No, you just shot him in the face. That's not a simplification, you're just telling me exactly what happened.

 

[standokan]

"Be true to the voice of your soul"

*shudder*

Yugh, like nails on chalkboard that one.

I hate "I'm hungry" "Hi hunger"

 

[Auron225]

Anyone who says "End of (story)" after they finish their say in an argument. Same goes foes "/thread" when it isn't used in a comical sense. Yes, End of you talking, not the argument. If you don't allow someone to counter your argument with their own, then you're admitting that you know they are right because you know they're about to prove you wrong. It annoys me so much!

EDIT: Also, not so much a phrase as it is a word, but people misusing the word literally. They seem to think its another word for "very".
"I am literally starving" - I've seen literally starving, you're not even f*cking close.
"I am literally exhausted" - Normally when I hear exhausted, I assume you mean the physical sense. Why not use the word physically?

EDIT 2: Can't believe I forgot this one 0.0

"There is no excuse for being late" ...yes there is. In fact, there are hundreds of them. Want some reasonable excuses for being late?

Traffic
My car broke down
I was stranded on an island
Death in the family
You gave me the wrong time/place to rendevous
My alarm clock didn't go off (It happens, but I didn't plan it to)
Brother/Sister/Etc took the car and didn't tell me they were taking it

So once again, sorry Im late, but not everyone on earth who is late plans on being late and does it purposefully to annoy you. If they wanted to annoy you, they wouldn't show up at all.

 

[catalyst8]

1. "My bad." Your bad what?

2. "I'm good." Please define good & evil.

4. "Asshole." A pit for a hoofed mammal of the horse family.

All ignorant & imbecilic statements.

Imo, those are just you being an grammar nazi. Really. Are you pissed off if someone says "im good"? Would you really ask the to define good?

Of course, unless they're making a genuine claim to being particularly virtuous. Fortunately I know only one person who uses the phrase, the rest of my friends are adults & speak accordingly.

 

[Raine_sage]

"Just be Yourself"

God I loath this statement. So much. I get that the intended message is a good one but I have seen people use this sooo much in order to justify their douchy/racist/asshole attitudes.

"Well I'm just bein myself so if you don't like it I'll go find people who appreciate me for me."

While you may be "keeping it real" (another phrase I despise for many of the same reasons) the "real" you is in fact not a good person. People who appreciate the "real" you are also horrible horrible people. People who would like it if you went away and didn't spout offensive garbage at them are not "haters" they are just people who would like to eat their lunch without being harangued.
No one is perfect, a little self modification can be a good thing. We all have faults that are part of who we are, but that does not mean we shouldn't try and correct them when we become aware of them. If I ask you to not scream in my face every time we talk, I'm not infringing on your personal identity or being unreasonable.

 

[Jakub324]

Any phrase involving the words "meant to be," "fate," or "heart" in any context involving emotion. Those phrases make me want to commit a violent crime against whoever says them.
"If it's meant to be..."
"Heart wants..." If I hear anyone say things like this, the next thing they say will almost certainly be: "AARGH! WHAT ARE YOU - ARRRGH!"

 

[TroubleMaker411]

Oh, here's so many to choose from:
"LOL" I hate the abbreviation as it is, but people that actually SAY "lol" just make me want to kerbstomp them!
And by extension, pretty much anything from the same family. "ROFL" is not a fucking word. You wanna laugh, just fucking laugh. you ain't got to say "LOL" "ROFL" or "PMSL" unless you are talking over MSN messenger.
and you're 12.

And I'm so glad that I ain't the only one that hate "could care less"
I cringe every single fucking time I hear it. And worse when some overpaid douchebag has written it into a movie for fuck's sake!
It's "I couldn't care less" for the love of Christ!

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Half the time its in response to not being able to call a black guy a n*gger, and the other of the time its because some school in a remote village on Mauritius has gotten a little over-zealous in what it thinks people might be offended by.

You put an asterisk in there? Fucking political correctness, bastards. It's gone mad I tell you, mad.

OT: "Everyone's entitled to their own opinion"

It's a shame my opinion is that you're a **** now. Yeah, I get that you're sick the discussion but the statement is redundant, by default your opinion is your own. If you want to end a discussion then say so, don't go shouting pointless bullshit at me in a bid to get me to shut up.

Seriously, actually telling me to shut up would work far better.

 

[Trivea]

"So what?" I hate that phrase. I mean, it would take a lot less time in the long run to just say "No matter what reason you could give me I'm going to ignore it", so please don't make me explain why you're an idiot if you aren't even going to listen.

It's not so much the pronunciation, but when people misspell "yea or nay". I've seen it spelled so many ways - particularly yea - and it's rarely ever right. If you don't know how to spell it, you aren't making yourself look any smarter, so just say "yes or no".

"If I 'don't get (insert item here)' / 'have to (insert action here)' 'soon' / 'one more time' I'm literally going to die/explode/whatever." Oh, please do. People need to realize that the word 'literally' means they are actually going to do it.

"I don't read." Well, I guess you're fucked at restaurants, aren't you, dumbass? If you don't like to read books, fine. Some people don't (and those people are retarded). That's their prerogative. But unless someone is completely illiterate, EVERYBODY reads.

"That is so gay." When talking about something being stupid. I think that's pretty self explanatory. Your school is gay? Really? So it's either an extremely happy place or it wanders off and fucks other schools of the same building-gender?

"Harry Potter is a ripoff of Twilight." So maybe it's not what you meant when you were asking for phrases, but that makes me want to Hulk Smash something.

(Also all of these captchas. gonesen Janie.)

EDIT: Also "could care less". Great. I'm glad you care enough that your opinion could be lowered.

 

[Timmons]

not really a phrase but if someone puts a question mark at the end of a sentence where it's not nececcary.
for example me and a friend were having an argument and he wrote "get a brain?" and "no i'm right?"... or anything like that
it just makes you look like an arrogant twat

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

"Just be Yourself"

God I loath this statement. So much. I get that the intended message is a good one but I have seen people use this sooo much in order to justify their douchy/racist/asshole attitudes.

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not."

What I gather from this statement is:

"I'm a wanker that everyone hates and I'm okay with that because nobody liked me when I tried to change."

There is no 'you' to be, by default everything you do is who you are. The actual statement should be 'Be your best self', that way you're taking only positive qualities with you and trying to hide the negative ones. If that doesn't work then you're shit at socialising.

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

"Oh no he/she di-int"

*gun in mouth*

Also, if they do the head wiggle thing, It's even worse.

 

[Rawne1980]

I have a list .... i'll keep it short.

Could care less .... Which means you actually care. Unless of course you meant you couldn't care less.

Everypony .... Look, we get that you like the show. I'm glad you like the show, no honestly ... I am. If it's keeping people entertained then thats a good thing .. HOWEVER .. people that are not fans of the show really don't want to see that shit everywhere they look. It's not the show we don't like it's the fething fans that shove it down our throats.

Not exactly a phrase but plz, plx, plix, pl0x and other verbal monstrosities .... No, just no. Typing out a sentence and then adding one of those on the end just makes me want to hunt you down and strangle you with your own intestines.

I'm not trying to be funny .... Well thats a fucking good job because if you were, you failed.

Can I just say .... Don't ask, just bloody say it. If you are asking and genuinely want an answer then no, no you can't just say. Get back in your corner and speak when I throw you a peanut.

Could of, would of, should of .... Stayed in school, thats what you should have done.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news .... That is a total lie. If you hated it, you wouldn't bring the bad news in the first place. Admit it, what you really mean "i've got bad news, however, i'm going to pretend I don't really want to give it you so I don't look like a dick when really i'm dancing the lambada of joy on the inside".

A variation of one above "i'm not being funny" .... No, we know you aren't. What you are being is a giant walking penis.

Am I the only one .... Yes, yes you are. Out of the billions of people dwelling on this very planet YOU are the only one that happens to be interested in whatever particular topic is festering in your mind right now. Come back down from your lofty heights there dear one. No you are not the only one, you will never be the only one .... EVER.

Is it just me .... See above.

Edited Disclaimer - Above I have typed "you" a few times. I do not mean YOU personally before someone goes running off crying to a moderator like the last time I happened to type "you" in a sentence without aiming it at someone.

 

[artanis_neravar]

U Mad. I hate this phrase so much. Its just so annoying to hear heck even to say.

Then the phrase is working, 'cause it's only purpose is to annoy you.

1. "My bad." Your bad what?

2. "I'm good." Please define good & evil.

4. "Asshole." A pit for a hoofed mammal of the horse family.

All ignorant & imbecilic statements.

Imo, those are just you being an grammar nazi. Really. Are you pissed off if someone says "im good"? Would you really ask the to define good?

Of course, unless they're making a genuine claim to being particularly virtuous. Fortunately I know only one person who uses the phrase, the rest of my friends are adults & speak accordingly.

good

Spoiler

adjective
1.
morally excellent; virtuous; righteous; pious: a good man.
2.
satisfactory in quality, quantity, or degree: a good teacher; good health.
3.
of high quality; excellent.
4.
right; proper; fit: It is good that you are here. His credentials are good.
5.
well-behaved: a good child.

Asshole

Spoiler

noun Vulgar .
1.
anus.
2.
Slang .
a.
a stupid, mean, or contemptible person.
b.
the worst part of a place or thing.

You are being to narrow in your definitions.

"I don't read." Well, I guess you're fucked at restaurants, aren't you, dumbass? If you don't like to read books, fine. Some people don't (and those people are retarded). That's their prerogative. But unless someone is completely illiterate, EVERYBODY reads.

"That is so gay." When talking about something being stupid. I think that's pretty self explanatory. Your school is gay? Really? So it's either an extremely happy place or it wanders off and fucks other schools of the same building-gender?

When people say they don't read it is usually implied that they mean books/magazines/etc.
And gay is a term that has been redefined several times over the years, why can't I redefine it so it can't be used offensively against homosexuals?