Physics/Computer Humour and B.O.O.K.s

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BrickBond

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Aug 29, 2008
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http://www.physics.uwo.ca/~harwood/humour.html
I've known about this site for a while and, seeing as many people on the forums like humour, physics, and computers (obviously enough), I thought I'd share it with everyone.
Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named-BOOK.

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere-even sitting in an armchair by the fire-yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.

Here's how it works:

BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable),each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKS with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.

BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it. BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like other devices, it can become damaged if coffee is spilled on it and it becomes unusable if dropped too many times on a hard surface. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pin-points the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session-even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKmarkers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional programming tools, Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Styli (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

Nah - It'll never catch on.

*** This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons

P.S. I am the proud owner of multiple B.O.O.K.(s) and would recommend that everyone have a minimum of at least 20 of these devices, as they are extremely high quality, and more portable than Directory Assisted Transmission Archive Blocks Series E(s), or D.A.T.A.B.A.S.E.(s)

P.P.S First Topic created *Hooray*
 

fulano

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Oct 14, 2007
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Sniff.

Thermodynamics from Hell = Fun Times

EDIT:

"Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell."

I shouldn't find that funny but I do.

EDIT (2): Now, I'm gonna sound like a total ass, but how can we measure the rate of change in the volume of hell if we don't know the properties of souls? Are they a fluid? if so, of what kind?

Ok, I shut up now.
 

BrickBond

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Aug 29, 2008
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unabomberman post=18.70619.697450 said:
"Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell."

I shouldn't find that funny but I do.
It does make logical sense, but in a very misconstrued sense of the word logical.
 

BrickBond

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unabomberman post=18.70619.697450 said:
Now, I'm gonna sound like a total ass, but how can we measure the rate of change in the volume of hell if we don't know the properties of souls? Are they a fluid? if so, of what kind?

Ok, I shut up now.
I suppose that they are some sort of energized plasma, contained by the electric field generated by brain activity, and when there is no activity (death) then the containment is lost and the soul escapes, or something like that.
 

fulano

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BrickBond post=18.70619.697488 said:
unabomberman post=18.70619.697450 said:
Now, I'm gonna sound like a total ass, but how can we measure the rate of change in the volume of hell if we don't know the properties of souls? Are they a fluid? if so, of what kind?

Ok, I shut up now.
I suppose that they are some sort of energized plasma, contained by the electric field generated by brain activity, and when there is no activity (death) then the containment is lost and the soul escapes, or something like that.
Well, that makes TOTAL sense now.