Uhhh...Right.
Stranger tides was alright, but not great. Made me consider giving any more movies a shot after the crap that was movies 2 and 3. After all, they seemed to have figured out that the movies are at their best when it's about piratey stuff with just a sprinkling of magic.
But this? This just looks kind of terrible.
Ok, so they give Jack a more in-depth VISIBLE backstory instead of the fun nebulous mystery that was there before, the villain is some ex-...Something or other (He looked military but seems to have been a pirate?) who is like "Wah, Jack dun killed me, want revenge" while sounding incredibly dull and generic. This is supposed to be our menacing villain? Hell, Beckett was more menacing that this douche, and Beckett was a foppy manipulative guy, not an undead pirate bent on revenge.
Jack's lines all seem really really lame (At least the stranger tides trailer had the "Did everyone see that? Because I Will NOT be doing it again!" thing which got a chuckle out of me), especially the pants thing, and his plot here all seems like a roundabout way of dealing with the impending "End of the Age of Piracy and mystery" thread that's been dangling over the series for a while now, which apparently HAS to be resolved here because this is the "final chapter".
The new Will/Elisabeth expys seem simultaneously dull and stupid.
The guy seems like "I am goody two shoes super virgin dude, I saw her ankles, yippy!" which is kind of incredibly boring. Hell, the damn PREACHER from the last movie was more interesting than that and he was literally a preacher! I may have played goody two shoes in tabletops and LARPs before, but there's usually some fun edge to it (Being the only-sane-man keeping the crew on task while dragged on a mission with a pack of lunatic sabbat on a road trip to save the world from a plague demon, and being a conspiracy nut who joins the big Cthulhu world-saving sacrificial conspiracy respectively). Just being "dat nice guy" isn't enough. Like, Will Turner had the whole "he has some pirate connection, and is a badass blacksmith and swordsman" thing going for him.
The girl? I...What? Ok, on one hand, she seems spunky. Neat, I like that in a female lead. But her lines are just...What. Did they even GET a writer for this? "I don't want any trouble"?! LADY, you legit just were part of another cliche dramatic rescue from being hanged, complete with snark right after being saved. Given that you were staring down a death sentence what looks like 2 scenes previous, I'd say you're already in trouble and should be rolling with it in order to adapt and survive. *facepalm*
Like...Trailers are supposed to have almost all the best scenes in the movie up front to entice you to come watch the movie (with a few exceptions like the Lego Movie). If THIS is the best they can give us for the trailer, my hopes for the movie are currently at rock bottom. -_-
...I realize I'm coming across really mad. It's because the first Pirates movie remains my favourite movie of all time. It deserves better than this.
