Plan Your Own Funeral

[Catfood220]

Burn me up, take my urn to the top of a medium skyscraper, and toss me out to the poor sods below.

All while playing this on repeat:

So basically you want everyone to suffer. I like your style.

Ok, for a start I don't want any sort of preparation. Not just no embalming, no nothing. I work in the funeral industry, I have prepared people to be viewed by their families and I want none of it doing to me. Even though I am not there, I will be watching, especially if someone puts eye caps in my eyes, I will seriously haunt the person that did it. Put me in a body bag and seal the coffin if need be, just don't prepare me.

Then cremate me, I want these songs played at my funeral, "Alligator Sky" by Owl City, "Life" by Devin Townsend and at the end "Free" by Twin Atlantic, simply because I love inappropriate funeral songs and this song has the line "I set my body of fire so I can be free" which I think is fitting.

Mind you, hopefully by the time I die, Resomation will be legal and widely used so that song will no longer be apt, I'll have to pick something else.

Then, have someone take my ashes to a music festival and have the thousands of people there trample me into the mud.

 

[tilmoph]

Booze. Lots and lots of booze. And music. Lots of pictures. And gaming. I want my passing to a celebration of my life, as well as a way for people to openly and shamelessly let out any emotions they have over my loss, thus the booze. No social inhibitions making people try to act strong; if you think I was a dick, just slur it at the top of your lungs, let it out. If you feel like something important just went out of your life, then find someone else and cry like babies, or punch the dude calling me a dick, whatever.

The games are there for when people get sick of letting it out and just want a break, a quiet, after the emotional storm bonding experience of teaming up to shoot Nazis or or solve puzzles or whatever.

As for my body, bury, burn it, toss it out to sea, feed it to pigs, serve it at the wake with a nice Jack Daniels sauce and a side of fries, I don't give a damn, it's just meat at that point

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

I'd have Engel by Rammstein play. When they carry my casket the whistling would go on repeat, until they put it down and then the song could start for real. At the point where the song reaches it's peak my casket would start to burn and slowly descend into the floor. The ashes that would be left should later be spread by my daughter or wife near the sea. Any sea really, I don't care.

After the whole song and burning of the casket I'd like it if people celebrated my death, by eating and listening to good music.


I wouldn't donate my organs.

 

[zombiejoe]

My funeral is not what's important. No, it's my will.

I will have two sons, Xavier and Charleston. I shall raise them to hate each other.

When I die, my will will tell my sons that all of my money is hidden somewhere in the world, and they must follow a series of clues to find it. They will then either put aside their differences and work together, or fight against each other for the treasure.

What they won't know is that the treasure is in my own chest, put there by a respected doctor during the autopsy.

Along with the money in my chest is a note, asking for my son(s) to complete my final wish and cut off all of my body parts and send them around the world.

What my sons won't know is that they have a half sister in China, who has been raised by her mother to live in constant misery and poor fortune. After my death, my foreign lover will tell her that she had been cursed long ago, and the only way to break the curse is to find all of my body parts, put them back together, raise me from the dead, and then kill me again.

And those are my plans.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Well, after the 2km tall statue and and tomb beneath have been completed (on the peak of Olympus Mons), I expect all the slaves that built it to be sealed inside with my sarcophagus so that I may have slaves in the afterlife. I would expect global mourning (to the point of people throwing themselves off of rooftops) and the 6th of April to be declared Day of Our Glorious Leader. A portrait of me is also to be carved on the moon with a really creepy smile, just so everyone knows I'm still watching them.

This seems likely the most likely funeral to me.

 

[DugMachine]

I'm stuck between giving my body to science or cremation. Funerals are depressing as hell and I don't feel like putting my family through that. If cremated, spread my ashes into the sea (I love the sea and symbolic yadda yadda). And if I give my body to science.... well just don't take my lungs cause I'm sure that's what did me in anyways.

 

[Glongpre]

Funerals are a waste of money, so just burn me up and do whatever you want with the ashes. Or alternately you could build your own box out of sheets of wood (for like what, $50?), then bury me or throw me in the ocean, whatever makes you feel better.

 

[Shinsei-J]

Two words, bouncy, castle.
Also a scavenger hunt, each piece of my will will be hidden in a chest scattered throughout a large forest and the first to find a chest gets that piece. My funeral will basically look like a 10 year olds birthday party, because you can't spell funeral without fun!

Snip

I'd pay to watch this, whether it's a reality show, tv series or movie I don't care.