omega 616 said:
I never said it was her fault, although I think it's partly her fault. We both know guys love sex, we both know alcohol makes you more "friendly", now put a girl in an outfit that has her boobs falling out and she is showing the bottom of her butt cheeks walking normally, then add a guy who likes what he sees but he keeps getting rejected.
All I am saying is, if she dressed more reserved it would be less likely to happen, I am not saying go out in a bomber jacket and baggy pants though. Also taking some precautions, like don't walk home by yourself etc.
Loving sex and having sex with someone without their consent are very different things. Call me dogmatic, but I refuse to put any blame on the victim. While I resent the social impetus on women to dress erotically or to pose for magazines or whatever, I'd never deny that people have a right to wear what they want and act how they want, and that includes doing so without the fear or risk of being assaulted. The kind of guys who think like that need to learn to take rape seriously, and while it wouldn't be a bad thing if people didn't dress like slags, on principle I'm not placing the rights of a rapist over those of the victim.
People don't dress like that because they're saying 'please rape me', they do so because they feel sexy or like getting attention. 'Attention' shouldn't mean sexual assault.
Don't take it personally. I'm not accusing you of being a potential rapist or anything, it's pure principle.
omega 616 said:
I Don't know which team you play for but assuming your straight, you see one of those "hunky guy at the beach, wearing dental floss round his crotch" calendars, you think "oh, hello". If you know what I mean.
You've got my sex wrong, I'm a bisexual (for want of a better word) man. It always makes me grin a little when people get that wrong though, so don't worry, I'll take it as a compliment.
And yeah.. I've been to clubs where people routinely get nearly or actually naked, a few of them blisteringly hot. It's nice, but it doesn't give me any desire to ruin their evening and possibly their life by imposing myself.
omega 616 said:
If I got the general jist of what you put, does it matter about the details?
From what you said, I don't think you got it quite right.
I'm not saying you or anyone on this site is actually coercing or expecting women to act 'slutty' but, and it's really hard to explain this without using feminist terms so bear with me..
While women can now achieve most of the same things as men, they don't get the same recognition or sense of worth from doing so. A woman's worth is always measured much more by her attractiveness to men than by anything else she achieves. This is why the ultimate goal of so many women is to model and why so many women would want to appear in playboy. Sure, we have male models, but how many little boys grow up wanting to be male models?
It's not down to individual men, it's a wider social thing that women can only achieve value for being beautiful or being sexually desirable to men. I'm not even saying that women who act like slags are beautiful or sexually desirable (far from it most of the time) but they're still playing for male attention, as that's still the primary thing that determines a woman's worth.
omega 616 said:
I do have an attention span, just not in the mind set to be going all psychological and what not. Very tired at the moment, after exhausting my self for charity (running up and down stairs with heavy bags filled with books from 9-2 with no dinner or pay).
That's cool. I'm sorry if I sounded dismissive. Like I said, I'm used to talking to people on my course so we tend to speak in quite technical language without thinking. I've actually encountered similar complaints from my non-course friends, so clearly I need to get better at explaining myself.
omega 616 said:
I assume your from the good old states 'cos almost nobody in the UK calls them studies. Also what field? I can't think of a job/field that would have "Gender studies", maybe advertising? I am not ragging on your subject, just curious.
Nope, I'm from the UK, but 'gender' sounds stupid (even though it's the title of my degree) so it's just easier to call it gender studies.
Most people who take my course wind up in government, working for NGOs (particularly those who deal with gender issues), academic publishing and other general Masters level jobs. I'm personally applying for a PhD and would like to teach at higher education level, but there aren't many departments and there aren't likely to be any more opening now that the government has decided to fuck the entire higher education sector hard, so that might have to change (or I could move to the states).