Please help me with my girl problem

[Nillz]

There is this girl I've been interested in for a few months now. I've been talking to her for that time and have gotten to know her pretty well. I have been building up the confidence to ask her out when BAM she's in a relationship the next day. She went out on one date with the guy, and it has only been a day or two they have been going out.

I am really affected by this. I can't sleep (which is why im up at 4 am right now) and really want to help my case here. Should I tell her the way I feel? I'm not sure how long her relationship with this guy will last, and if its a long time then there's nothing i can do that whole time. I can't see many consequences of this unless she is just plain not interested in me, and totally into this other guy (which im not convinced she is).

I really want to tell her the way I feel, lightly of course (first telling her to talk to me when she gets the msg saying: "talk to me when you get this") and not overwhelm her and scare her away. Although, I could totally end up being the fool and lose out on my chance forever.

What should I do?? help me (and like I said, Im not sure if she's sold on this guy) ----- I'm 16 by the way if that helps your opinion on what I should do.

 

[Estocavio]

If she isnt going to put in any commitment or effort, she probably isnt worth it simply because its normally a sign of things to come, and it makes you look desperate even if your not. If you absolutely must though, talking about it would probably work.
The afore is correct about 7/10ths of the time.

 

[Insanum]

This thread is your friend: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161

He's a Guru. Trust him.

 

[Daveman]

Spoiler: Do this.

But seriously, when it happened to me I did nothing and waited for the inevitable break up, then I texted her asking her out a few days later. However unfortunately I'm retarded and it was the wrong phone number. I was worried when she totally blanked three texts asking her out. Then I caught on... after about 6 months.

Anyway, my decision was wrong. My dad put it to me like this. Often relationships go on and on until somebody cheats. Causing somebody to cheat means you're breaking up a relationship that would have failed anyway. It's not like they're married, there aren't any kids that are gonna be crying about the breakup at the end of the day. So yeah, get her to dump her current guy for you. It's the right thing to do.

 

[BlindMessiah94]

There is this girl I've been interested in for a few months now. I've been talking to her for that time and have gotten to know her pretty well. I have been building up the confidence to ask her out when BAM she's in a relationship the next day. She went out on one date with the guy, and it has only been a day or two they have been going out.

I am really affected by this. I can't sleep (which is why im up at 4 am right now) and really want to help my case here. Should I tell her the way I feel? I'm not sure how long her relationship with this guy will last, and if its a long time then there's nothing i can do that whole time. I can't see many consequences of this unless she is just plain not interested in me, and totally into this other guy (which im not convinced she is).

I really want to tell her the way I feel, lightly of course (first telling her to talk to me when she gets the msg saying: "talk to me when you get this") and not overwhelm her and scare her away. Although, I could totally end up being the fool and lose out on my chance forever.

What should I do?? help me (and like I said, Im not sure if she's sold on this guy) ----- I'm 16 by the way if that helps your opinion on what I should do.

I've been there, but in all honesty that is high school for you.

I offer only one piece of advice and that is listen to the wise BonsaiK.

 

[Vampire cat]

Well. It's always awkward and hard for the girl if you ask her when she's in a relationship. And I can tell from experience (with my girlfriends, personally I've never been in a solid relationship), that the chances of going for the person she is aready dating is much bigger than going for you, unless of course she feels the same way about you and doesn't care about him.

I would wait a little while, see where it goes. I think you should be able to tell relatively fast if she cares about him or if it's just something "she does". Get back to me on it when you know more and I'd be glad to help!^^

Oh, and if your rich and drive a nice car, why not call me?

 

[Brad Shepard]

There is this girl I've been interested in for a few months now. I've been talking to her for that time and have gotten to know her pretty well. I have been building up the confidence to ask her out when BAM she's in a relationship the next day. She went out on one date with the guy, and it has only been a day or two they have been going out.

I am really affected by this. I can't sleep (which is why im up at 4 am right now) and really want to help my case here. Should I tell her the way I feel? I'm not sure how long her relationship with this guy will last, and if its a long time then there's nothing i can do that whole time. I can't see many consequences of this unless she is just plain not interested in me, and totally into this other guy (which im not convinced she is).

I really want to tell her the way I feel, lightly of course (first telling her to talk to me when she gets the msg saying: "talk to me when you get this") and not overwhelm her and scare her away. Although, I could totally end up being the fool and lose out on my chance forever.

What should I do?? help me (and like I said, Im not sure if she's sold on this guy) ----- I'm 16 by the way if that helps your opinion on what I should do.

Ok, first off, Get some sleep, it helps, 2nd, just wait, if she is in a relactionship after a day, then she either really likes this guy or she just wants to be in a relactionship, sense your singel (No offence whatsoever) you need to look out for your own feelings, you cant let yourself be hurt if she says no, sense it seems to me you fell hard for her.

 

[BonsaiK]

My response, for those interested: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread?page=32#5940047

 

[GrinningManiac]

We are a nerdy internet game-based community

Do not ask us for relationship help. It's largely bullcrap and we don't enjoy having to talk about it

Also, helping you with a "girl problem" sounds like helping someone with an "ant problem". Are there girls burrowing into the foundations of your house, marching through the kitchen in a line and picking up bits of sugar and biscuit crumbs?

 

[jamesworkshop]

If you don't say anything as soon as possible then don't bother, wait until they break up (if they do) they break up

 

[REPLAY13]

Are there girls burrowing into the foundations of your house, marching through the kitchen in a line and picking up bits of sugar and biscuit crumbs?

oh if only....

OT: I have a similar problem to the TC, only the girl in my case has been in a relationship for 3 years.

 

[Flames66]

I have no idea. There are probably better places to ask this than a forum full of Escapist, trying to avoid the real world.

 

[FalloutForever]

Ask her, If you truly like this chick, You will.

 

[Bucht]

First of all I'll start by saying: there's plenty of fish in the sea.
Now with the grandma talk out of the way, what I'm trying to say is, we've all been trough the same shit. Sometimes we get lucky and sometimes we get real depressed for a while.

If I was in your place i would tell her how I'd feel.
Her answer is always "no" if you don't ask, so you pretty much have nothing to lose.

P.S.: Be a man and say it IRL.

 

[robert022614]

well if she is a friend you cant afford to lose then you might want to wait awhile, she just got into a relationship meaning she probably doesnt know anything about the other guy which means she probably wont dismiss him that easily because the beginning is usually about "oh your cute" stuff. id say wait awhile but in the end either way you should let her know how you feel because trust me nothing sucks worse than caring for someone secretly when they are in a relationship and being close friends at the time. all in all buck up and tell her she say no then sorry, but at least you will have an answer and if you do it in a mature way you will still have a friend as well. in the end young relationships arent supposed to make sense either way because most people in high school have a narrow scope on life. ask her and enjoy your teenage years. i hate to sound old and lame, but you only get to live them once...might as well be bold and daring when you dont have adult burdens to think about

 

[Little Duck]

There is this girl I've been interested in for a few months now. I've been talking to her for that time and have gotten to know her pretty well. I have been building up the confidence to ask her out when BAM she's in a relationship the next day. She went out on one date with the guy, and it has only been a day or two they have been going out.

I am really affected by this. I can't sleep (which is why im up at 4 am right now) and really want to help my case here. Should I tell her the way I feel? I'm not sure how long her relationship with this guy will last, and if its a long time then there's nothing i can do that whole time. I can't see many consequences of this unless she is just plain not interested in me, and totally into this other guy (which im not convinced she is).

I really want to tell her the way I feel, lightly of course (first telling her to talk to me when she gets the msg saying: "talk to me when you get this") and not overwhelm her and scare her away. Although, I could totally end up being the fool and lose out on my chance forever.

What should I do?? help me (and like I said, Im not sure if she's sold on this guy) ----- I'm 16 by the way if that helps your opinion on what I should do.

This will eat you up if you're not careful. It feels like a botomless pit is in you when you look at her now yes?

Right. First of all, real life is not a movie scene. Telling Ms. Desired Beloved you love her is unlikely to chime in music, brids and all the flowers into bloom as you make out. Most likely scenario is that sh will keep dating her current Boyfriend.

You can either A) Tell her you like her and how you feel so you can get rid of this (the sooner the better)

or B) (NOT ADVISED) You can avoid her for extensive periods of time untit it ends like every 16 year old relationship (after 3 or 4 months) and be there for her.

Being realistic mate, you've probably missed your window of oppertunity.

 

[Avelestar]

Go for gold, you'll hate yourself if you don't try. And a once off heartache from her saying no is better than months of watching her be happy with someone else. At least then you can get over it and find a new girl to pine over.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Talk to her. Only way to find out, really. Else you risk the Friend Zone, and if you end up there...you're pretty much stuck. Only a handful of men of legend have made it out of the friend zone, not counting random drunken oops moments, but since you're as young, that you don't really get to worry about yet. Luck to you, man. Oh, might wanna start with asking how her new relationship is going, instead of the tired old 'we need to talk'. Nagging before a relationship leads to nagging in a relationship, and that's never a good thing.