Pokemon, for real

[Calibanbutcher]

I would want a badass team.
So I start of with Larvitar, because I want that sweet sweet Tyranitar.

Then I would get myself a Gyarados and name it Magikarp, because mind-games.

I would of course get a Charizard, because fire-breathing dragons are awesome.

Then I want a Metagross, because why the hell not have a giant steel-monster?

For transportation purposes I would get an Alakazam and teach it to teleport me to wherever I want. I am not gonna have any of that "last Pokecenter"-nonsense, nope, straight up teleportation everywhere.

And since I am allowed a legendary, I want Aruseus, because why choose anything but the best?

 

[smithy_2045]

All the Grimer. I'd go around, telling them to throw their sludge at anything and everything. It'd be hilarious.

 

[Adeptus Aspartem]

I get myself an Arceus, let him make me immortal and then rule over the universe together with my ridicoulus looking Pony-like-God.

Also i need an Alakazam, because havin' a telecinetic sapient super-computer with a mustache of the gods is just boss.

I actually don't care about the rest, because alot of those buggers aren't really that handy in everday life.


PS: Well.. maybe Dialga/Palkia, because if i already posses the creator of the universe, why not control time and space too. Also timetravel.

 

[JdaS]

I grab me a Cyndaquil. Then I proceed to catch a Mankey, Zangoose, Sneasel, Seedot and a Tentacool.

A nice, well rounded team I can do okay with.

I'd catch a Scyther, Darumaka, Joltik, Scraggy and Skarmory for the bench.

 

[Dr. Doomsduck]

I grab Squirtle
A turtle that evolves into a giant Bi-Pedal Turtle with freaking cannons coming out of it's back.
Also since I have a head start I'll start the "evil team" of this world.
SAY HELLO TO TEAM ZERO
WE ARE NOTHING
WE ARE NO ONE
BUT WITHOUT US THE WORLD WILL COLLAPSE
TEAM ZERO, JOIN US PERHAPS.

Hey, we got pokemon
and this is craazzy
but here's our number
So join us maybe?

 

[Dr. Doomsduck]

Grabbing me a Wigglytuff, because I loved those since my pre-teen years.

Otherwise...

Chikorita
Geodude (with the intention of training/trading it into a golem)
Quagsire
Swablu (again, training it)
Mareep (Ampharos, here we come!)

basically, my team from heartgold/sapphire...with the exception of Umbreon, due to my lifelong wigglytuff dream XD

 

[SweetShark]

Well, if we want to be VERY realistic about this specific situation, we don't have the ability to select what we caught.

Also in reality, you wouldn't want to caught them and have them to fight only to see them surfer for your enjoyment. You will have them so give him a nice home to stay and keep him as healthy as possible, away from any kind of troubles.

Of course in reality the secret services, government, mafia, paid armies, gun dealers WILL somehow use them as a weapon especially if one of them manage to catch a Legendary Pokemon.

Then in the game come the X-com *cough* I mean different kind of scientists groups to test their abilities by torment, drown, hit, stab and in the end butcher them to study their anatomy.

Finally we have the Hardcore Pokemon fans, furries, guro fans, Pokemon haters, Digimon fans, drug lords, psychos and many, many different kind of people they want to use them for their own personal and twisted dreams come true.

Oh hey! I caught Keldeo!!!

[I obviously I'm joking, so don't get my post seriously, ok ^^]

 

[acsoundwave]

We wouldn't be able to do anything because PeTA would be jerks as always and try to "protect" the Pokemon from being owned/trained by humans.

As for the serious animal welfare and environmental groups: they would move to protect the Pokemon from being exploited. At the very least, Pokemon could no longer DO BATTLE (at least not in the US, where it's illegal).

Then again, the Legendaries would likely wreak havoc through major cities around the world. Tokyo, for example, would look like...a standard kaiju film.

 

[Keoul]

Hey, we got pokemon
and this is craazzy
but here's our number
So join us maybe?

We are not some girl group trying to get a gay guy's number.
We will use nothing of the sort.
You are totally not joining.
Expect to pay triple for your pokemon when you come to a pokemon centre.
Good day to you sir.

 

[Dr. Doomsduck]

Hey, we got pokemon
and this is craazzy
but here's our number
So join us maybe?

We are not some girl group trying to get a gay guy's number.
We will use nothing of the sort.
You are totally not joining.
Expect to pay triple for your pokemon when you come to a pokemon centre.
Good day to you sir.

Tssssk, is that a threat? don't make me call agent Jenny on your ass.

 

[ccggenius12]

I'd take a Magikarp. You see, each Magikarp lays 1000 eggs. Each of those eggs will grow into a Magikarp and each of those Magikarp will lay 1000 more eggs. That's 1000000 Magikarp. And if I sell all of those Magikarp at $10, I'll have $10000000 and will be able to buy all of the instant food in the world.
And of course, if people are smart and don't buy them, The inevitable Team Rocket plot to force evolve the world's Magikarp will result in my possession of an army of 1000000 lazorfish.

 

[azukar]

Well whichever Pokemon I grab, I'd probably then just watch the chaos. I mean, America is full of enough gun nuts already, without giving people potential access to instant earthquakes, hurricanes, explosions etc.


Or if Keoul's Team Zero is cool enough I might join them.

(Incidentally, I'd be looking for a Gengar, an Espeon and a Houndoom)

 

[Keoul]

Tssssk, is that a threat? don't make me call agent Jenny on your ass.

What's she gunna do boy?
"so uh please stop charging this guy quadruple at the pokemon center"
"no"
"well you're not actually committing a crime so okay"

I'm not exactly stealing pokemon here, just charging people for a service.
And now the fee for you is octuple.

 

[The White Hunter]

I grab Squirtle
A turtle that evolves into a giant Bi-Pedal Turtle with freaking cannons coming out of it's back.
Also since I have a head start I'll start the "evil team" of this world.
SAY HELLO TO TEAM ZERO
WE ARE NOTHING
WE ARE NO ONE
BUT WITHOUT US THE WORLD WILL COLLAPSE
TEAM ZERO, JOIN US PERHAPS.

I would like a seat of power in this team please xD
No, I won't use unevolved weak things and do stupid things like release legendary pokemon we caught!

OT: Piplup! It's adorable and becomes ARMOUR PENGUIN!
Then idk...
Weezing because Weezing is awesome and could sludge my enemies and waiters that scoff at their meagre tip.
Ampharos because it's adorable and highly diverse in it's capabilities.
Dragonite because it just makes sense to fly around on a dragon and he's easily my favourite dragon.
Aggron, because sometimes stuff just has to get heavy slammed to oblivion.
Quagsire. Because fucking hell I love Quagsire.

 

[thejackyl]

I would probably go with a team of Eevee's turned into their evolved counterparts. I'd have to be that one trainer that keeps like 10 pokemon on him, but only fights with the six he's allowed to.

I dislike HM Slaves for fighting, because they tend to lose some of their versatility. Hence I would keep a few extra around just for Flying, Surfing, Teleporting, etc.

 

[Keoul]

I would like a seat of power in this team please xD
No, I won't use unevolved weak things and do stupid things like release legendary pokemon we caught!

Good good...
Our world domination plan has 3 stages

One
Send several agents to achieve high profile positions in the pokemon center business.

Two
Begin destruction of infrastructure, and economy, those on the "inside" will attempt to remedy the problems, thus gaining trust. With both the public and high ranking individuals.

Three
Extremely aggressive takeover. Holding the Ceo hostage and taking control, Board members will also be taken hostage, death is acceptable as command will fall to the next in line, another one of our agents.
This attack must be sudden and decisive.
Once control is taken we begin charging for pokemon center use, thus making trillions.

WE'LL BE SWIMMING IN MONEY MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Dr. Doomsduck]

Tssssk, is that a threat? don't make me call agent Jenny on your ass.

What's she gunna do boy?
"so uh please stop charging this guy quadruple at the pokemon center"
"no"
"well you're not actually committing a crime so okay"

I'm not exactly stealing pokemon here, just charging people for a service.
And now the fee for you is octuple.

Ohhh, except in this country we have obligatory health insurance, so as long as I'm paying enough according to the law, Me and my pokemon get health care.

Want to influence the law? You just admitted that you want create totalitarian system that punishes people for satiring your little club...Good thing no-one here cares about freedom of speech, because yikes, things might get ugly otherwise.

Also, I'm a girl.

 

[Eccentric Lich]

I'm a ghost trainer in the game, so I'd be a ghost trainer in life. I'd immediately start training and seeking out strong and like-minded trainers to start up a criminal syndicate.

Gengar would be like my starter pokemon, the one I'd always keep out in the open since it can hide in my shadow and strike whenever needed.

Chandelure is my destroyer. Whenever something absolutely must go up in flames, he's my guy. Need to escape? Create a wall of fire. Need to attack? There's nobody better.

Dusknoir because it's an awesome personification of death. It's moderately powerful but more importantly, it's durability allows it to march on in the face of any opposition.

Golurk for flying and smashing. And because giant robots are just really cool.

Spiritomb because I need a way to cover my weakness to dark and ghost and again, the cool factor.

Jellicent. Dat stache.

So pretty much exactly what I use in the game. With all ghosts, I'd never have to pay for food or any kind of care for them. Gengar feeds on lifeforce, Chandelure eats souls, and I don't think the others require anything. They're spirits. What could they need?