Pokemon, for real

[Keoul]

Ohhh, except in this country we have obligatory health insurance, so as long as I'm paying enough according to the law, Me and my pokemon get health care.

Want to influence the law? You just admitted that you want create totalitarian system that punishes people for satiring your little club...Good thing no-one here cares about freedom of speech, because yikes, things might get ugly otherwise.

Also, I'm a girl.

Nuh uh uh fraulein!
Do pets have health insurance? nope.
Either way you won't get pokemon health insurance... that is unless you want to pay me some extra dough.
2 DOLLARs PER DAY FOR ALL THE HEALING YOU WANT.

Also in regards to your totalitarian comment. I am taking over one business, how is that in any way me taking over the world politically. I'm not controlling every aspect of peoples lives, just one aspect, THE PRICE FOR POKEMON CENTER HEALING MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yeah I think you're thinking too far ahead, though now that you mention it totalitarian wouldn't be that bad......
-starts drawing up plans-

 

[The White Hunter]

I would like a seat of power in this team please xD
No, I won't use unevolved weak things and do stupid things like release legendary pokemon we caught!

Good good...
Our world domination plan has 3 stages

One
Send several agents to achieve high profile positions in the pokemon center business.

Two
Begin destruction of infrastructure, and economy, those on the "inside" will attempt to remedy the problems, thus gaining trust. With both the public and high ranking individuals.

Three
Extremely aggressive takeover. Holding the Ceo hostage and taking control, Board members will also be taken hostage, death is acceptable as command will fall to the next in line, another one of our agents.
This attack must be sudden and decisive.
Once control is taken we begin charging for pokemon center use, thus making trillions.

WE'LL BE SWIMMING IN MONEY MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

1) Can do!

2) Definately can do! I'll just encourage people to vote for conservative fools with no understanding of how basic macroeconomics works!

3) For this I shall bring the newfound horror that is legitimate Dragon Dance and Outrage MoxieMence...

 

[Dr. Doomsduck]

Ohhh, except in this country we have obligatory health insurance, so as long as I'm paying enough according to the law, Me and my pokemon get health care.

Want to influence the law? You just admitted that you want create totalitarian system that punishes people for satiring your little club...Good thing no-one here cares about freedom of speech, because yikes, things might get ugly otherwise.

Also, I'm a girl.

Nuh uh uh fraulein!
Do pets have health insurance? nope.
Either way you won't get pokemon health insurance... that is unless you want to pay me some extra dough.
2 DOLLARs PER DAY FOR ALL THE HEALING YOU WANT.

Also in regards to your totalitarian comment. I am taking over one business, how is that in any way me taking over the world politically. I'm not controlling every aspect of peoples lives, just one aspect, THE PRICE FOR POKEMON CENTER HEALING MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yeah I think you're thinking too far ahead, though now that you mention it totalitarian wouldn't be that bad......
-starts drawing up plans-

Too late, I'm already working the political system, the moment those pokémon start appearing and prove themselves as higher cognitive beings, NGO's around the world will stand up for their basic rights, practically begging the system to include pokémon. Next, pokéballs and enslavement of pokémon will be out of the window.

And before you know it Pokémon will, with their superior powers, force us to enhance THEIR lives by raising them, training them, worshipping them and hoping they won't destroy the universe on their whims.

ALL HAIL OUR NEW POKÉMON OVERLORDS!!!

 

[Therumancer]

So imagine that you got into a fight with a midget that somehow found its way into a best buy during a lightning storm and just as you toss the midget into the 3DS display with the pokemon black and white 2 demo, lightning strikes the store and the interaction somehow opens a wormhole and all the pokemon from all the generations get released into our reality. all them, from numbers 1-650 or however high it is right now and along with it, all the items you could imagine, potions, pokeballs, for some reason pokeflutes, etc. In the ensuing chaos you manage to grab 5 pokeballs, a couple potions and a starter pokemon. What pokemon did you grab and what do you do now?

Captcha: Falling Pianos

Well, the bigger question is which Pokemon did I gun down first and decide to stuff and mount given my new Taxidermy hobby.

Well that or how long did you last before the goverment just dropped an A-bomb on the site to contain the outbreak. Gotta Nuke 'Em All, it's the only way to be sure! >


In the spirit of things without the bad jokes, I'm hardly a Pokemon expert so I'd probably aim to see if I could get a whole team of shiny Mewtwos or other banned-from tourny play for being overpowered Pokemon.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

I'd take a Ponyta(Who I would name Zippo), and then catch whatever, and just chill, I mean as far as I'm concerned, if I have a sentient lighter that I can ride(asbestos saddle/flameguard), I don't think I'd really need anything else, though having a gyarados would be pretty swank, I'd like one of those too, even if I have to beat the shit outa stuff by switching magicarp with my lighterhorse hundreds of times ,in order to do it.

 

[guess who]

I'm going to refer to the pokemon I would want on my team by the evolution I would keep them at but in most cases I catch them at a lower state.

Magmar - Cuse I need a fire type and I can't think of one I like more than him.

Noctowl - Played gold more than any of the others and I always kept an owl in my party; fly and hypnosis in one is just too useful to give up.

Mageton - An electric type that's also tough as all hell, yes please.

Cloyster - My water and ice once again tough as nails.

Parasect - My grass and bug also my method of application for poison and paralyze

Espeon - my favorite of the eveelutions and psychic of choice

 

[Keoul]

Too late, I'm already working the political system, the moment those pokémon start appearing and prove themselves as higher cognitive beings, NGO's around the world will stand up for their basic rights, practically begging the system to include pokémon. Next, pokéballs and enslavement of pokémon will be out of the window.

And before you know it Pokémon will, with their superior powers, force us to enhance THEIR lives by raising them, training them, worshipping them and hoping they won't destroy the universe on their whims.

ALL HAIL OUR NEW POKÉMON OVERLORDS!!!

Nah I'll be fine.
I'm an evil mastermind remember? You're legal system is without a doubt a slow and lengthy process, in that time I would have already set up my business. If any government opposes my business practices I will either take them down or a complete withdrawal from the nation, leading to the unconciousness of thousands of pokemon without a place to heal.
And don't you worry, new centers will NOT be popping up, I've got every machine, every name, patented. Anyone even try to make a pokemon center will be sued faster than they can say "gotta catch'em all!"

Also bribing pokemon to gain favour with poffins and
WE TEAM ZERO WILL STILL HAVE POKEBALLS,
WE SHALL NOT BE RESTRICTED BY YOUR PETTY MORALITY!
THIS IS WHY WE ARE HERE
THIS IS WHY WE ARE NEEDED
WITHOUT US YOUR WORLD WILL FALL INTO CHAOS
YOU HAVE PROVED IT YOURSELF.

 

[Dr. Doomsduck]

I'm an evil mastermind remember? You're legal system is without a doubt a slow and lengthy process, in that time I would have already set up my business. If any government opposes my business practices I will either take them down or a complete withdrawal from the nation, leading to the unconciousness of thousands of pokemon without a place to heal.
And don't you worry, new centers will NOT be popping up, I've got every machine, every name, patented. Anyone even try to make a pokemon center will be sued faster than they can say "gotta catch'em all!"

Also bribing pokemon to gain favour with poffins and
WE TEAM ZERO WILL STILL HAVE POKEBALLS,
WE SHALL NOT BE RESTRICTED BY YOUR PETTY MORALITY!
THIS IS WHY WE ARE HERE
THIS IS WHY WE ARE NEEDED
WITHOUT US YOUR WORLD WILL FALL INTO CHAOS
YOU HAVE PROVED IT YOURSELF.

Sorry, I am now going in a religious extremist direction, everything you say will be countered by my faith in the almighty Pokémon Gods.

ALL HAIL OUR NEW POKÉMON OVERLORDS!!!

 

[Keoul]

Sorry, I am now going in a religious extremist direction, everything you say will be countered by my faith in the almighty Pokémon Gods.

ALL HAIL OUR NEW POKÉMON OVERLORDS!!!

Well that can be easily fixed, you see, my people are creating thousands of masterballs as we speak.
We will capture your "Pokemon Gods"

I am your god now.

 

[Owen Robertson]

So imagine that you got into a fight with a midget that somehow found its way into a best buy during a lightning storm and just as you toss the midget into the 3DS display with the pokemon black and white 2 demo, lightning strikes the store and the interaction somehow opens a wormhole and all the pokemon from all the generations get released into our reality. all them, from numbers 1-650 or however high it is right now and along with it, all the items you could imagine, potions, pokeballs, for some reason pokeflutes, etc. In the ensuing chaos you manage to grab 5 pokeballs, a couple potions and a starter pokemon. What pokemon did you grab and what do you do now?

Captcha: Falling Pianos

All things considered Charizard is the most effective fully-evolved starter in real world isn't it? Fire-breathing, flying lizard? What are the rest? Plant dinosaur (Venusaur), Water-canon turtle (Blastoise), Fire porcupine (Typhlosion), crocodile (Feraligator), Plant giraffe/dog (Meganium), Mudskipper/Lungfish (Swampert), Big fucking Gecko (Sceptile), Fire chicken (Blaziken), Plant tortoise (Torterra), Ice Penguin (Empoleon), Fire Monkey (Infernape), Grass Snake (Serperior), Fire Warthog (Emboar), and Otter (Samurott).

Of all the animals in the list flying lizard, dinosaur, and Giraffe/Dog seem the most outrageous.

 

[shadowstriker86]

All things considered Charizard is the most effective fully-evolved starter in real world isn't it? Fire-breathing, flying lizard? What are the rest? Plant dinosaur (Venusaur), Water-canon turtle (Blastoise), Fire porcupine (Typhlosion), crocodile (Feraligator), Plant giraffe/dog (Meganium), Mudskipper/Lungfish (Swampert), Big fucking Gecko (Sceptile), Fire chicken (Blaziken), Plant tortoise (Torterra), Ice Penguin (Empoleon), Fire Monkey (Infernape), Grass Snake (Serperior), Fire Warthog (Emboar), and Otter (Samurott).

Of all the animals in the list flying lizard, dinosaur, and Giraffe/Dog seem the most outrageous.

That's funny i never thought of it like that, i usually just chose squirtle cause you know, it evolves into a giant turtle with water cannons on its back

 

[Tentaquil]

5 Arceuses (Arcei?). Because fuck everyone else. Reality itself will bend to my will

 

[NinjaSniperAssassin]

If I had to choose an actual designated starter, Charmander. Because pet dragon. After that it'd probably go something like:

Arcanine: The only pokemon I've used in every single game, he's pretty much mah fave. I imagine it'd be like having a pet lion that burns things.

Gengar: He's a ghost. That eats people's dreams. And has a giant evil smile.

Hydregion: Yes, another dragon. But this one has three heads.

Metagross: I don't know what exactly Metagross is, but he's damn cool. Also he's tough and smart.

Arceus: Because why would you not want motherfucking GOD on your side?


Then I'd go out hunting for ladies with my pokemon. Bitchez love pokemon.

 

[Owen Robertson]

That's funny i never thought of it like that, i usually just chose squirtle cause you know, it evolves into a giant turtle with water cannons on its back

Water Canons. Not Canon Canons. Those would be better in the real-world. Blastoise could help you refinish your deck. He's a power-washer.
I'm not trying to insult or downplay any of the pokemon (some of them do that on their own) but the starters are always weird, elemental animals. No Ghosts, no Dragons, no Dark, no Psychic. Those are where it's at. Gengar, Dragonite, Houndoom, Alakazam (I always named my Alakazam SHAZAM!) Even Bug types are more "out-there" like Scizzor. He's a flying mantis made of steel... All of my want.

 

[Owen Robertson]

If I had to choose an actual designated starter, Charmander. Because pet dragon. After that it'd probably go something like:

Arcanine: The only pokemon I've used in every single game, he's pretty much mah fave. I imagine it'd be like having a pet lion that burns things.

Gengar: He's a ghost. That eats people's dreams. And has a giant evil smile.

Hydregion: Yes, another dragon. But this one has three heads.

Metagross: I don't know what exactly Metagross is, but he's damn cool. Also he's tough and smart.

Arceus: Because why would you not want motherfucking GOD on your side?


Then I'd go out hunting for ladies with my pokemon. Bitchez love pokemon.

Arcanine is a dog, not a lion. Well he's based of a Korean mythological creature, I believe. Metagross is an Alien. He has to be. He knows Meteor Mash.

 

[Auron225]

Charmander - its supreme cuteness is enough reason, not even considering that it'll be a friggin Charizard one day that can fly me around and breathe fire! X)