Poll: A good friend of yours suddenly decided they're not talking to you anymore. What would you do?

Recommended Videos

Thaluikhain

Elite Member
Legacy
Jan 16, 2010
19,538
4,128
118
ohya said:
thaluikhain said:
ohya said:
thaluikhain said:
Very hard to give useful advice to someone I don't know over the net about a complicated issue for which I'm only hearing one side.

But there comes a time when you have to walk away...and then pretend that you never cared about the other person at all, cause it's really embarrassing when someone you liked turns out to be a terrible person.
That's kinda my problem, I dont really know how to 'walk away' from it.. It is embarassing like you say because normally a good friendship like this shouldn't have ended the way it ended for me between me and him. The fact itself that it embarasses me also makes it difficult to move on from what happened. Like....I can technically move on but it will always be there, the memory I mean.
Oh yeah, very easy for me, as a net random, to say to you "walk away", as if emotions weren't involved.
I didnt understand a thing from what you just said. Regardless, there might be an easy way of dealing with a friend deciding to stop talking to me, and I might have somehow missed it for some reason. Otherwise, how come I'm still struggling about this.
I meant that the solution often seems very easy for people not actually having to deal with the problem.

Realistically, though, you're in an awkward place, and nothing anyone can say is likely to change that, but you'll get over it eventually, just have to put up with it for now.
 

Barbas

ExQQxv1D1ns
Oct 28, 2013
33,804
0
0
Caiphus said:
I'd probably write a forum post about it and type his name, in the hope that anyone who Googles him will know that he once was a super mean poopyhead.

John Mercer.
Isn't he that arsehole who used to tear the entrails out of New Yorker and run up and down public buildings, getting footprints on all the windows? Dick!

OT: I'm not sure, really. It'd be a shame and I'd miss them and probably feel bad for a while, but I'd move on and not hold it against them, because they were still a friend of mine.
 

Astoria

New member
Oct 25, 2010
1,887
0
0
I had this happen to me from my best friend who I'd known for 10 years. Just all of a sudden she decided that she didn't want to talk to me anymore. And by not talk to me anymore I mean she wouldn't even look at me and would talk as if I wasn't there to our mutual friends. I asked her over and over via text and facebook what was wrong and eventually I got back 'we should talk about it in person' but next time I saw her it was the same deal. I have a vague idea about why she started ignoring me but it still annoys the hell outta me that after 10 years she just ended it like that. It's not the first time it's happened to me either, I'm starting to take it personally.
 

Hebby

New member
Dec 8, 2013
42
0
0
A good friend does not stop talking to you suddenly without due cause. If they have it, you will probably know why.
If they don't, they are not good friends.
 

Noyourjoanzy

New member
Dec 7, 2010
32
0
0
I am both surprised and concerned that the rather elegant and simple solution of "slap that ***** in the face" has not been made note of. I am confident this will lead to a healthy discussion beginning with "hey what the hell" and ending with some unhealthy bottled up emotions being release.

Sometimes it really does seem like I am the only socially well adjusted person online.
 

ohya

New member
Oct 2, 2014
36
0
0
Astoria said:
I had this happen to me from my best friend who I'd known for 10 years. Just all of a sudden she decided that she didn't want to talk to me anymore. And by not talk to me anymore I mean she wouldn't even look at me and would talk as if I wasn't there to our mutual friends. I asked her over and over via text and facebook what was wrong and eventually I got back 'we should talk about it in person' but next time I saw her it was the same deal. I have a vague idea about why she started ignoring me but it still annoys the hell outta me that after 10 years she just ended it like that. It's not the first time it's happened to me either, I'm starting to take it personally.
Weird story. There must be something you did or said to her that offended her, dont you think? Do you have any idea what it might have been? I actually find your situation pretty interesting from what you say, and would love to hear more about it. In fact it is more or less the same as mine. I had the same thing happen to me before, when one of my former friends started behaving as if I didnt exist, or wasn't there when he talked to other people, even though he clearly saw me standing there, lol.
 

Thyunda

New member
May 4, 2009
2,955
0
0
ohya said:
thaluikhain said:
Very hard to give useful advice to someone I don't know over the net about a complicated issue for which I'm only hearing one side.

But there comes a time when you have to walk away...and then pretend that you never cared about the other person at all, cause it's really embarrassing when someone you liked turns out to be a terrible person.
That's kinda my problem, I dont really know how to 'walk away' from it.. It is embarassing like you say because normally a good friendship like this shouldn't have ended the way it ended for me between me and him. The fact itself that it embarasses me also makes it difficult to move on from what happened. Like....I can technically move on but it will always be there, the memory I mean.

Don't think about it, just do other shit for a while. My closest friends have been there for fourteen years now, but we can go upwards of a year without talking. I know it can be difficult if you're used to talking to someone all the time, but if they don't want to speak to you anymore and won't tell you why, I can guarantee right now that their reason isn't worth hearing. If you'd accidentally beat their girlfriend to death with their grandmother, they'd have told you.
Only thing you can do is just go do other shit. You have a life of your own that doesn't revolve around him, so go focus on that for a while.
 

Chemical Alia

New member
Feb 1, 2011
1,658
0
0
Growing up, it happened to me twice, with kids who were my best friends before that. Trying to remember my response....oh yeah, I cried and cried.

I knew why they did it, it was because I was considered uncool and dorky and unfashionable to all of the other girls, and they didn't want my uncoolness rubbing off on them v: One of them wanted to go and associate with her older "bad kids" friends, and the other friend just decided I was too much of a loser. The second one was worse, because she was really passive-aggressively nasty to me in the months before. 9th and 7th grades, respectively.

I'm on a good friendly relationship with the "bad girl", who managed to straighten out her life pretty well. Haven't talked to the other friend since.

If it happened to me as an adult, I'm sure I'd contact them about it (assuming we're not talking about exes, because that also recently happened and is more understandable), to see if there's anything I did wrong that we can sort out. I don't suffer from crippling shyness and self-confidence issues anymore, which is cool!
 

Astoria

New member
Oct 25, 2010
1,887
0
0
ohya said:
Astoria said:
I had this happen to me from my best friend who I'd known for 10 years. Just all of a sudden she decided that she didn't want to talk to me anymore. And by not talk to me anymore I mean she wouldn't even look at me and would talk as if I wasn't there to our mutual friends. I asked her over and over via text and facebook what was wrong and eventually I got back 'we should talk about it in person' but next time I saw her it was the same deal. I have a vague idea about why she started ignoring me but it still annoys the hell outta me that after 10 years she just ended it like that. It's not the first time it's happened to me either, I'm starting to take it personally.
Weird story. There must be something you did or said to her that offended her, dont you think? Do you have any idea what it might have been? I actually find your situation pretty interesting from what you say, and would love to hear more about it. In fact it is more or less the same as mine. I had the same thing happen to me before, when one of my former friends started behaving as if I didnt exist, or wasn't there when he talked to other people, even though he clearly saw me standing there, lol.
I think it was because I said that she was attracting the wrong kind of guys with the way she was acting when she went to clubs. It seemed like every other week she was upset because some guy she thought was awesome hadn't called her after they slept together so I just said look you're not gonna find a good guy when you pick up at clubs. That's the only thing I can think of because it was a bit after that when she started ignoring me. Any ideas what you could've done to your friend? It's just the weirdest feeling when it happens.
 

FPLOON

Your #1 Source for the Dino Porn
Jul 10, 2013
12,531
0
0
Meh... All this "friend" did was prove that I didn't much care for them to begin with...

But honestly, if I was younger, I would be upset as fuck... But, now, I wouldn't care enough to ask them why...
 

Hero of Lime

Staaay Fresh!
Jun 3, 2013
3,114
0
41
It's happened to me. My two best friends from elementary school stopped communicating with me once we all went to high school. Oddly enough, they would still hang out, and continued their friendship. Granted, I should have made a bigger effort to stay in contact with them, but I do wonder why they just stopped caring about me like that.

So I just let that go. Funny enough I had dinner with both of them two years ago, and we started talking like we had been good friends for all those years, but again, after that there was little contact except for the occasional Facebook interaction. Maybe I'm just bad at keeping certain friends .
 

Ambitiousmould

Why does it say I'm premium now?
Apr 22, 2012
447
0
0
An eight year friendship (back then, that was half of my life) ended exactly like that. Towards the end of secondary school he just completely blocked me out. Then I mentioned it to another friend (who I have known for that time and longer now, we'll call him friend B) if he's noticed that friend A is being odd, and he said "What do you mean, he's always a dick". That's when I though back and realised that, yes, in fact he is an enormous penis. So I shrugged and went on with it.

Edit: What I can say with certainty, however, is that friend B won't do that for a couple of reasons.
1) He is more mature (as am I)
2) I can't remember a single time in 5 years where we had an issue between us. He used be get upset at me a lot at really minor jokes, but I always apologised, then one day his skin basically quadrupled in thickness and I don't think either of us has offended or hurt each other since (not that he ever found the ability to upset me). Physical hurt is all too common, however, usually one of us smacking the other for doing something idiotic.
3) We also never have arguments that last for more than a minute or two. Partially because we never talk or argue about anything "real" or that matters, but partly because a good few seconds shouting and swearing at each other does wonders, and it never feels too serious.

Another thing that happens is that we never stop insulting one another, and I know that this is a common thing, but you know you have a good friend when you greet each other with "Oi! ****!".

I would recommend these as advice, but frankly, they will do far more harm than good if you aren't quite as close as you thought, or if the other person takes offence at things such as these, also, seeing as though I have one friend, I cannot claim to be in any position to offer social or friendship advice.
 

marioandsonic

New member
Nov 28, 2009
657
0
0
I posted in the advice forum months ago about a scenario like this that happened to me.

I tried to find out why, and it lead to me practically begging her not to never speak to me.

It's been nine damn months, and I'm still not over it.

...and now I'm depressed again. Damn it...
 

Th37thTrump3t

New member
Nov 12, 2009
882
0
0
Fuck 'em.

If they don't think you're worth their time, then they obviously aren't worth yours. Forget the *****/bastard and move on.
 

CaitSeith

Formely Gone Gonzo
Legacy
Jun 30, 2014
5,374
381
88
It happened me once. I asked for some explanation, I met him at his home, and let him talk for more than 30 minutes (mostly about himself, his problems and what bothers him in this world). We agreed to still be friends after that.
 

the December King

Member
Legacy
Mar 3, 2010
1,580
1
3
Not only would I confront them directly, I would also start mining my other mutual friends and relations and try to track the issue down, if need be.

I like to keep the friends I have. But sometimes we all say or do something that can really piss off someone else. It's not the best way to handle such an event, just to stop speaking, but it is in and of itself a communication that something is wrong- either the silent party did something wrong, or they feel wronged. It is the state of uncertainty, that I cannot abide.
 

Childe

New member
Jun 20, 2012
218
0
0
I've known most of my friends for 8-10 years now and consider them family.....i would be sad and go eat large amounts of cheap cafe food.....yeah........
 

Caiphus

Social Office Corridor
Mar 31, 2010
1,181
0
0
Barbas said:
Isn't he that arsehole who used to tear the entrails out of New Yorker and run up and down public buildings, getting footprints on all the windows? Dick!

OT: I'm not sure, really. It'd be a shame and I'd miss them and probably feel bad for a while, but I'd move on and not hold it against them, because they were still a friend of mine.
I dunno, you may be thinking about Peter Parker? And he gets his weird spidey-spunk all over the shop too.

How insensitive.
 

Belaam

New member
Nov 27, 2009
617
0
0
"Okay. If you ever want to talk about whatever it is instead of just walking away, give me a call."

Forcing someone to open up to you isn't going to work, so better off to give them a window to re-open the relationship and then escpe the drama.