I might have considered this (minus the PM it. Sorry, not that kind of girl.Ganthrinor said:
) if I found her attractive. XD
Poll: Am I allowed to be jealous?
- Thread starter Supernatural Girl
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) if I found her attractive. XD
Hey, always worth a shot ~.^Supernatural Girl said:I might have considered this (minus the PM it. Sorry, not that kind of girl.Ganthrinor said:
Everyone's probably already mentioned this but...sounds like you might be developing feelings for him. It's hard to separate sex from love. I'd say...unless this guy is gonna commit to you, then stop this friends with benefits deal. You're just gonna become more attached and get hurt in the long run when he inevitably continues with his current behaviour.
I take it you're not having sex with other guys on the side? Yeah, I'd give him an ultimatum...it's not fair on you if you have feelings for him.
I take it you're not having sex with other guys on the side? Yeah, I'd give him an ultimatum...it's not fair on you if you have feelings for him.
I have little to no understanding of the "friends with benefits" concept, and I'm not about to head to ED to find out what the hell it is. Could someone enlighten me please?
Watch that episode and you will find the answers you seek.
Or, you can contact [user]BonSaik[/user]
He's pretty much the Escapist Forum Relationship Guru
Of course you're not! You're friends with benefits so you being jealous is not allowed at all
It's cool if you feel that way and keep it to yourself, but it's pretty much tough shit. You have no right to be angry with him I'm afraid!
That's just the cold, hard truth.
It's cool if you feel that way and keep it to yourself, but it's pretty much tough shit. You have no right to be angry with him I'm afraid!
That's just the cold, hard truth.
Well there isn't really a reason to be jealous of this girl, I mean you're both getting sex so it's not like it really effects you that this guy does it with another lass, unless he ditches sex with you for with that lass.
Jealousy is a natural emotion. Especially when we have grown attached to someone. Even if you never wanted it to be a serious relationship, even if you just wanted it to be sex. I've been there, Went out to a party and a girl i was i guess i'll say "invested" in left with another guy I got a little pissed. Kept saying, its not a big deal I never wanted a relationship after all... Still i couldnt shake this feeling in my gut.
Whatever it was, maybe anger that I wasn't picked, or that I was somehow cheapened by this maybe just the realization of how much some people are just BS.
Anyways, its okay to feel jealous, even though it really sucks especially when in your mind you say there's no reason for it but it still nags at you.
Good luck with that whole situation.
Whatever it was, maybe anger that I wasn't picked, or that I was somehow cheapened by this maybe just the realization of how much some people are just BS.
Anyways, its okay to feel jealous, even though it really sucks especially when in your mind you say there's no reason for it but it still nags at you.
Good luck with that whole situation.
Of course you do, jesus you're only human! What you want to ask yourself is do you still see him as a friend with benefits or have you developed more complex feelings for him now?
Jealousy is an emotion and are really beyond your ability to control, being chemical reactions in your brain that are triggered when given sufficient stimulus. So you are quite allowed to be jealous. But that's not really your question. Your real question is are you allowed to act on that jealousy.
That's a thornier problem as you and this fellow had an understanding, although you reached this understanding without considering the possibility that you might actually know some of his... penis pies, apparently.
Fact is, no matter what you do, nothing is going to be the same. That is just life. Life is change. Nothing lasts forever. It is best to accept this. Even doing nothing, things are likely to change anyway.
My advice, such as it is, is to go ahead and tell this guy what you are feeling. You might want to couch it in term of you did not expect these emotions and how knowing one of these girls is what's making it weird for you. If nothing else, this will bring it all out into the open so that it can be dealt with directly instead of going on a slow boil for months and erupting when you least expect it.
I do not know what he'll say or do. Nor do I know what will happen. but, trying to hide your feelings is likely to lead to regret. We regret the things we did not do much more than we regret the things we did. At least by taking action we learn something. Doing nothing doesn't teach us anything. That's my take.
That's a thornier problem as you and this fellow had an understanding, although you reached this understanding without considering the possibility that you might actually know some of his... penis pies, apparently.
Fact is, no matter what you do, nothing is going to be the same. That is just life. Life is change. Nothing lasts forever. It is best to accept this. Even doing nothing, things are likely to change anyway.
My advice, such as it is, is to go ahead and tell this guy what you are feeling. You might want to couch it in term of you did not expect these emotions and how knowing one of these girls is what's making it weird for you. If nothing else, this will bring it all out into the open so that it can be dealt with directly instead of going on a slow boil for months and erupting when you least expect it.
I do not know what he'll say or do. Nor do I know what will happen. but, trying to hide your feelings is likely to lead to regret. We regret the things we did not do much more than we regret the things we did. At least by taking action we learn something. Doing nothing doesn't teach us anything. That's my take.
Yeah, if you're involved in sex and he's having sex with other girls, of course you're going to be jealous. As has been said many times, it's normal and natural. However, you should have figured that that would be expected given your agreement to keep your options open. So now you have a decision to make: continue to keep your options open and live with the jealousy, or force your friend to choose between her and you, risking your friendship to either lose him or take your own relationship with him to the next level.
Really, I don't understand the whole "friends with benefits" thing. Why would you have (consensual) sex with each other if there were no feelings beyond friendship involved?
Really, I don't understand the whole "friends with benefits" thing. Why would you have (consensual) sex with each other if there were no feelings beyond friendship involved?
Not much of a brain teaser is it? Let's do this in order:
Personal note: If you're physically attracted to him, and consider him that good a friend... Maybe he's not JUST a friend? Just saying.
Because you want him. Maybe it started as sex, but clearly you've developed an emotional connection and became protective of him. It's easy to say it's ok when you can't imagine it, but when you can... It's the same reason one death is a tragedy and a million are a statistic.Supernatural Girl said:
Allowed to? Off course. You can't legislate emotions. You have no right to interfere though. At least not unless you intend to change your agreement with said guy, in which case you should take it up to him, and be honest about it.Supernatural Girl said:
As I said above, you've developed an emotional connection to the guy, and the fact that his sleeping around suddenly has a face turns what was once an abstract concept into a concrete event. It's not longer "he's seeing other people", it's "he's sleeping with HER", which makes you territorial.Supernatural Girl said:
Personal note: If you're physically attracted to him, and consider him that good a friend... Maybe he's not JUST a friend? Just saying.
It's perfectly natural to be jealous if you discover someone you're close to is porking someone else. On the other hand I don't think you have any right to be jealous as you've told him that this is okay. This would understandably lead him to think that you are doing the same thing (whether you are or not).
As to a reason it's possible you've formed an attachment to him. Maybe you should tell him, he might feel the same way and shagging the other girls is his way of trying to get over it.
As to a reason it's possible you've formed an attachment to him. Maybe you should tell him, he might feel the same way and shagging the other girls is his way of trying to get over it.
"Friends with benefits" can end up being more than friends very easily. Emotional attachments will form with someone after enough sex, and after cuddling and sex even moreso.
Either tell the guy you want to take things a bit more seriously or cease the benefits part of your relationship, or you are only going to start getting even more jealous.
Either tell the guy you want to take things a bit more seriously or cease the benefits part of your relationship, or you are only going to start getting even more jealous.
Yeah. It's like how I blew off several girls earlier this year and now that they have a boyfriend I'm really jealous of him.Blackadder51 said: