Poll: Am I allowed to be jealous?
- Thread starter Supernatural Girl
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Tell me about it. Very difficult to find like minded people in this day and age.RadioActiveChimp said:
I can see why your jealous it's ok to be, it's human nature to be jealous. Now if he is having sex with other girls then that's something to take note on. If you really like him then inform him on what he is doing. It's not a good idea to have multiple partners in a serious relationship. But seeing as how you are both open on this friend thing then I guess it's ok... kinda.
You're jealous because he's having sex with your friend and you feel a sort of ownership over him. I've had similar experiances with some of my lady friends, I don't paticulary care so long as I don't know the person.Supernatural Girl said:
Easiest way to get over that is to either stop the sex or to propose a relationship with him. By any chance are you sleeping with other people as well? Is this soley a physical thing or is your attraction to him more than sexual?
We're going through a sexual liberation and are splurging out because it's been underwraps for so long.Rakkana said:
I used to have the same view as you but over time it changed, sex to me is no more than sex with three different defining factors, them being:
Sex with someone you don't know.
Sex with a friend.
Sex with someone you're in love with.
Each one feels different... Sex with someone that you don't know isn't something that I would do, I've had sex with friends and I did have "love sex" once... the differences in the two feelings are immense, it goes from feeling good to feeling beautiful.
Anything you enjoy doing can be improved by doing it with someone you love.
(Sorry, I started talking and didn't stop!)
Honey, I'da knocked her out a long time ago if I was you.
I say: You have every right.
Take this with a grain of salt though, since this is coming from an extremely jealous person.
I say: You have every right.
Take this with a grain of salt though, since this is coming from an extremely jealous person.
Loving the choice of words there.Wedlock49 said:
Well, if you're jealous it means there must be some attatchment there, so you're obviously (or obviously want to be) more than just fuckbuddies.
I suggest getting over it by getting more fuckbuddies.
You're certainly allowed to be jealous, but acting on that jealousy is another matter altogether.
If you're just friends with benefits, and there are no strings attatched then there's no reason why he can't be friends with benefits with another person too, though the only way I can imagine you having some legitimate claim against the ugly bumping between the two of them is if you introduced them to each other, in which case jealousy isn't the right reaction, slight anger would be more suited to it but still not entirely justified.
Interfering with them is out of bounds because she has exactly as much claim to him as you do, and you have no right to say who he can and cannot have sex with unless the agreement is that you see each other exclusively, which it isn't.
If you feel the need to get at the other girl, then all I can suggest is doing another guy, but that really won't do much at all, and I wouldn't reccomend it, it will just make you feel like you're better than her in some aspects, though it could also have a bad reaction too of you getting labelled a slut, so it's probably a bad idea, though if you feel you have to do something that's all I can think of.
As for why you feel jealous: For one, you could be feeling like this girl is "Threatening your turf" in some way, and feeling like she's a threat to your status as a friend with benefits to the guy, but there's also the possiblity that you have developed feelings for said guy and want something more exclusive.
If you're just friends with benefits, and there are no strings attatched then there's no reason why he can't be friends with benefits with another person too, though the only way I can imagine you having some legitimate claim against the ugly bumping between the two of them is if you introduced them to each other, in which case jealousy isn't the right reaction, slight anger would be more suited to it but still not entirely justified.
Interfering with them is out of bounds because she has exactly as much claim to him as you do, and you have no right to say who he can and cannot have sex with unless the agreement is that you see each other exclusively, which it isn't.
If you feel the need to get at the other girl, then all I can suggest is doing another guy, but that really won't do much at all, and I wouldn't reccomend it, it will just make you feel like you're better than her in some aspects, though it could also have a bad reaction too of you getting labelled a slut, so it's probably a bad idea, though if you feel you have to do something that's all I can think of.
As for why you feel jealous: For one, you could be feeling like this girl is "Threatening your turf" in some way, and feeling like she's a threat to your status as a friend with benefits to the guy, but there's also the possiblity that you have developed feelings for said guy and want something more exclusive.
I'd say you have some feelings for him, and the fact that he's sleeping with someone you know kinda makes it hit home and brings those feelings out a bit more. I've never been in a situation of having a friend with benefits, but that's what I think is going on.
However, you're not really justified in being jealous, since you two agreed to keep your options open.
However, you're not really justified in being jealous, since you two agreed to keep your options open.
Over 30 years old and i still consider love to be nothing but illusion and excuse. I don't believe in love and i don't want love. Its a weakness, it contradicts nature, it limits personal freedom, love in my eyes is no different to any other mental disorder.Wedlock49 said:
Sex has two purposes. First is procreation, which is natural, we are supposed to pass down genetic material and keep our species. Second is simple carnal pleasure, that shouldn't ever require any other excuse than "It feels good". Anything else is just a weight of guilt created by culture, mostly by the middle-ages religious figures.
Sexual liberation in ancient times was much more advanced than modern day.
Also, i always was a big fan of Marquis de Sade's "Dialogue Between a Priest and a Dying Man"
DYING MAN - Hold. I shall give you mine. By Nature created, created with very keen tastes, with very strong passions; placed on this earth for the sole purpose of yielding to them and satisfying them, and these effects of my creation being naught but necessities directly relating to Nature's fundamental designs or, if you prefer, naught but essential derivatives proceeding from her intentions in my regard, all in accordance with her laws, I repent not having acknowledged her omnipotence as fully as I might have done, I am only sorry for the modest use I made of the faculties (criminal in your view, perfectly ordinary in mine) she gave me to serve her; I did sometimes resist her, I repent it. Misled by your absurd doctrines, with them for arms I mindlessly challenged the desires instilled in me by a much diviner inspiration, and thereof do I repent: I only plucked an occasional flower when I might have gathered an ample harvest of fruit - such are the just grounds for the regrets I have, do me the honor of considering me incapable of harboring any others.
As other have said.
It's alright to be jealous but you need to deal with that jealously.
Like others have said, tell the guy how you feel and sort things from there (why are all of you assuming he's a jerk, it could be a nice guy who just likes a lot of sex).
It's alright to be jealous but you need to deal with that jealously.
Like others have said, tell the guy how you feel and sort things from there (why are all of you assuming he's a jerk, it could be a nice guy who just likes a lot of sex).
Being jealous is a pretty standard emotion. I wouldn't let it rule you, but being jealous is just something that happens.
Love is just chemical reactions in the brain creating a feeling of dependance, love was most likely created to keep human packs together through bonding.Keava said:
I do not believe in true love but I do seek out the feeling known as love because it makes me feel good. I'm a person of conflicting desires as I am a Sadist I take sexual pleasure from hurting people (Them people consenting of course) a romantic relationship mixed in with the sadism rarely works and becomes very complicated.
I would probably have the same opinion as you if I hadn't myself experianced love... I would like to say that I do detest that word and wish there was one a lot less broad that can be used. I have developed strong feelings for someone... most people would look at my age and claim that I couldn't have felt "love" but I would say otherwise, I would have given as much as I could for her and would hate to think what I would do if there was an emotion more powerful than that.
Hanging out + sex. Sounds to me like you are dating.
...A rose by any other name, and all that...
...A rose by any other name, and all that...
OP: If you've both agree to be open you have no reason to be jealous. He's operating well within the agreed on parameters of your relationship (or rather, non-relationship).
From what I've seen, friends-with-benefits deals and open relationships don't work for chicks. Sex has too much emotional significance for women and you'll always end up feeling like you've bonded, even if the guy doesn't feel the same way.
Either keep your jealousy in check, or end it. It's not really worth the turmoil.
From what I've seen, friends-with-benefits deals and open relationships don't work for chicks. Sex has too much emotional significance for women and you'll always end up feeling like you've bonded, even if the guy doesn't feel the same way.
Either keep your jealousy in check, or end it. It's not really worth the turmoil.