Poll: Am I in the Wrong Here?
- Thread starter xXAsherahXx
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Right and wrong doesn't matter, except when you need to justify your thoughts and actions to yourself and others. As for what has happened here, well, maybe he was just having a bad day when this happened, maybe there is something more mucking about under the surface. No way for anyone to know without information only a real friend would have access to.
I see a big difference between verbally "disrespecting" something and physically touching it, especially if asked not to. (Even if you didn't touch it, he might not have had a good view of what was going on and it appeared that you did/were going to - that *is* what you were aiming for, right? To rile him up by pretending to do something he specifically asked you not to do?)
He overreacted, definitely. There's really no reason to hit someone unless they're trying to hurt you. Yelling is often counter-productive as well.
My verdict: You were both wrong.
He overreacted, definitely. There's really no reason to hit someone unless they're trying to hurt you. Yelling is often counter-productive as well.
My verdict: You were both wrong.
Riling him up wasn't my intention. It seems that way, but I was making a joke. My other friend laughed, and usually that would make him laugh. He did have a decent view, at least enough to distinguish that I wasn't going to touch it that way. Even if he didn't, he should know that isn't how I am.requisitename said:
If it were me, I'd let it go and text him after you've both had some time to cool off and kind of pretend that nothing happened - if it's a one-off deal, as you've said. Everyone has bad days and when someone loses their temper over something stupid it can be extremely embarrassing for them (as well it should be!). But, I see no reason to add to that person's discomfort.xXAsherahXx said:
I have to be honest and say that the kind of joking you're talking about is something that I'm familiar with only in the respect that I know other people do it and find it funny. I don't tend to hang out with folks who joke that way because I am not one of the ones who finds it amusing. (To each his own!) I have absolutely zero input into why it might normally be okay, but not today. (Other than the aforementioned "bad day" thing, that is.)
He told me he didn't want to talk to me for a while. I'm not really even sure I want to be his friend anymore to begin with. The whole thing is incredibly childish and my friend called us women (which isn't entirely false). Assuming I still do, what should I do then?requisitename said:
I'm unsure of what you mean by "my friend called us women (which isn't entirely false)".xXAsherahXx said:
It has been my experience that sometimes if you believe a relationship is worth salvaging, you have to suck it up and apologize even if you feel you did nothing wrong. It may not be right, but it's easier. Otherwise, if you want to keep being friends, I'd just make sure that he knows (such as through other friends) that you're still open to the possibility and let him make the first move.
Humans are so damned complicated, aren't they?
Yeah, it's supremely annoying. None of my other friends are like this. Uugh I hate working at friendship, it's all emotional and that's just awkward for everyone.requisitename said:
You just have to decide whether it's worth working at or not. Some are and some aren't. It's totally up to you whether this one is. Best of luck to you!
Just forgive him for it if nothing like this has happened. If you cut off your close friendship over this, I would think you're a pretty bad friend. Just get over it, its not a big deal really. Two punches, big deal it couldn't have hurt that much. Friends a supposed to work through stuff like this.
Very mature of you. Really.xXAsherahXx said:
You were.
That sounds like a really shitty group of friends you have. You all disrespect each others' stuff. Fantastic.
If he disrespects what you own, tell him to shape up or kick his butt out the door. Why do you let him do that? So you can do it later?
Good thing you're still in high school.
Sounds like you're both thick as a brick. You let him disrespect all of your stuff, you disrespect his stuff, and one of you was going to get angry eventually. That's what happens when you mix immaturity with friendship.
He just got angry first.
You both need to grow up.
Sounds like he overreacted, however by the sounds of things he might have been rather stressed. Even if you think he's wrong I'd apologise; whilst it might have been an innocent joke it wasn't at a very good time.
You both kind of are, and kind of aren't.
If it is a running joke, and your friend knows this, then there was nothing wrong with what you did due to an implied understanding that such a thing was Ok.
It is possible it your friend was just uptight about something, or a little on edge that night.
Perhaps bring it up with him later, and apologise. Even if you don't think you did something wrong, apologising will cover all your bases for just in case, and make your friend more likely to explain why he went kinda crazy than a 'Hey man, you know when you went batshit crazy when I touched your chair? Yeah, what's with that? I thought you knew it was a joke?'.
If it is a running joke, and your friend knows this, then there was nothing wrong with what you did due to an implied understanding that such a thing was Ok.
It is possible it your friend was just uptight about something, or a little on edge that night.
Perhaps bring it up with him later, and apologise. Even if you don't think you did something wrong, apologising will cover all your bases for just in case, and make your friend more likely to explain why he went kinda crazy than a 'Hey man, you know when you went batshit crazy when I touched your chair? Yeah, what's with that? I thought you knew it was a joke?'.
Have you own something you don't want people to touch it but he touch it anyway? No I'm not implying seeing it from his perspective, more like getting even with him.
Regardless if he had touch your untouch onject you owned or not he's in the wrong. He seen to have an issue of some kind (personal space?d) or he may have just over reacted.
Regardless if he had touch your untouch onject you owned or not he's in the wrong. He seen to have an issue of some kind (personal space?d) or he may have just over reacted.
From the way you describe things it sounds like he was in the wrong. I can't help but think there has to be something wrong, for him to explode like that. Maybe a family or personal problem that he hasn't told you about?
Now, I'll admit I have yelled at friends for disrespecting me or my stuff. But that is usually in much more extreme examples.
Person borrowed my car for a "few hours". When they finally returned, I asked what took so long, and they stated that they had a small accident. I freak out, and run to check my car. See nothing wrong and ask what had happened. Oh, that was a joke? Not fucking funny!
Realized that I had left the stove on low with some tea on it while we made a quick trip and we had been gone for about an hour. So I was a little worried, and they knew it. When we get home, friends go in to check for me. Come back out while I'm getting some stuff and tell me my stove is on fire. I freak out and run to look. Find nothing wrong. Oh, that was a joke? Not fucking funny!
Keep in mind, I didn't throw anyone out. I just yelled at them that there are some things you don't joke about. Like my personal property being damaged. They could hump my car or stove if they wanted. I'll take that as a compliment. And joke about their apparent fetish.
Now, I'll admit I have yelled at friends for disrespecting me or my stuff. But that is usually in much more extreme examples.
Person borrowed my car for a "few hours". When they finally returned, I asked what took so long, and they stated that they had a small accident. I freak out, and run to check my car. See nothing wrong and ask what had happened. Oh, that was a joke? Not fucking funny!
Realized that I had left the stove on low with some tea on it while we made a quick trip and we had been gone for about an hour. So I was a little worried, and they knew it. When we get home, friends go in to check for me. Come back out while I'm getting some stuff and tell me my stove is on fire. I freak out and run to look. Find nothing wrong. Oh, that was a joke? Not fucking funny!
Keep in mind, I didn't throw anyone out. I just yelled at them that there are some things you don't joke about. Like my personal property being damaged. They could hump my car or stove if they wanted. I'll take that as a compliment. And joke about their apparent fetish.
Your friend over reacted. If you had no previous warnings and he was going to throw you out then that's a bit much.
Do not let this ruin your friendship though. Really just explain and if needs be show him this thread.
Do not let this ruin your friendship though. Really just explain and if needs be show him this thread.
If your mate can't laugh at you pretending to rub your balls on something, he's not a mate.Mortai Gravesend said:
OT: He sounds like a fucking psychopath. And "don't touch my chair"? Seriously? I could understand that if it was something that had even the remotest chance of breaking if someone came into contact with it.