Poll: Are unrealistically high standards keeping people from finding love/getting laid?

[Meggiepants]

Only the ones with superficial standards are having trouble. Where's the problem?

Hehehe!

OP: It's always going to be harder to get laid if you are aiming for the cream of the crop. Mostly because the competition is so fierce more than anything else. If no one paid hot girls attention, they'd date whoever asked em first. That's how it works.

But if you are going for the ScarJo's of the world, keep in mind you are up against the Ryan Reynolds to get their attention. It has less to do with your desirability, and more to do with the fact that your competition has so much more to offer. Your standards don't really have anything to do with it.

Now you said your friend is also looking for a certain type of attitude to match the good looks. He wants a hot girl, who also conforms to his attitudes and intelligence requirements? Well, yeah. It's gonna be a while for your friend. This probably is more about standards than anything else.

As to the posters who claim jerks get more girls, that really only works in the short term and with certain types of girls. Most girls I know who have asshole boyfriends, have lots of asshole boyfriends over the course of a year. If dipping your toes in the community fountain is what you enjoy, then by all means, get into that cesspool and jerk it up. But most nice girls who tend to be long term relationship gals won't put up with the jerk thing for long, if at all. They might hope you'll change, and give you a chance, but sooner or later they will get tired of that shit, and move on.

 

[Smooth Operator]

I'll admit, I have unrealistic expectations about love but then I blame Disney. In all honesty I wouldn't date somebody based on looks alone. I wouldn't mind a sweet nerdy guy with wit.

Well it's too bad you landed on this site, it's all jerky macho men as far as the eye can see...

 

[Viral_Lola]

I'll admit, I have unrealistic expectations about love but then I blame Disney. In all honesty I wouldn't date somebody based on looks alone. I wouldn't mind a sweet nerdy guy with wit.

Well it's too bad you landed on this site, it's all jerky macho men as far as the eye can see...

It's true. *sighs

 

[smithy_2045]

There's no doubt that having high standards reduces the number of prospective lovers.

 

[Sigma Van Lockheart]

I have to say I?m rather lucky in this area. I?m meh attractive and for some unknown reason I keep getting girls and I struck pretty lucky with my girlfriend who is very attractive (I base this on the fact she has stalkers) smart and plays games only and for some reason she likes me not that I?m going to complain about it cause hell she is perfect for me the only problem is well she is American (I?m British and live in London.) I?m fine with her accent in fact I find it rather cute but really it?s the distance but the reason I?m saying this is because I agree men?s standards are too high. I judged girls based on my girlfriend who at the time was not my girlfriend and was just a friend I wanted a girl just like her (well I wanted her but back then I never thought I could have her due to distance) I?m very lucky I got my girlfriend I think that if I never became her boyfriend I think I would still be single and still judging girls on a silly scale.

 

[Bassik]

I prefer the girl that is a bit heavier then those foto models. So less competition means more succes for me.

@ Sigma von Lockheart: Attractiveness is not everything. Maybe you're just a pleasent person to be around with? From my experience, this is much more important then looking like a gorilla.

 

[Ickorus]

I have noticed it to be true for a lot of people and I find that really depressing, I had a friend once who was going out with a girl that was just plain awesome, sure she could be a bit bitchy at times but she was a great person none-the-less, they ended up splitting up because whilst he liked her she still wasn't what he was really after. I totally would have asked her out if it wasn't for the fact that he was my friend and you just don't do that to a friend.

 

[SuccessAndBiscuts]

There is some evidence for this but I feel that a lack of confidence on the part of those guys who just aren't getting any affection is the bigger cause.

Most guys will lower their "standards" if they aren't getting any affection but I would argue that confidence is the bigger part. From my own experience, 3 years ago (age 18 I'm Scottish 16 is the age of consent here) I was a virgin and hopeless with women, this year alone I have doubled the number of (sexual) partners I have had and more than trebled the number of girls who have shown a definite interest in me.

All as part of a wider re-structuring of my social life, sometimes I catch myself organising nights out and wonder what happened to the innocent anti-social me that couldn't hold a conversation with anyone. These days I wake up with new numbers in my mobile saved as things like "Hot girl from upstairs" and "Lucy? met in Union, likes horses"

 

[Gwarr]

I call it " the list"
+ Face >>breast>>ass

- fat>>>>>>>>>>>"Oh , no , she didn't"kinda girl>>crazy eyes

Personality and intelligence( to a limit!) ain't very important as I am 20 , my longest lasting relationship was maybe 1 month and I intend to keep it that way till I'm 40.

 

[shitoutonme]

Personality and intelligence( to a limit!) ain't very important as I am 20 , my longest lasting relationship was maybe 1 month and I intend to keep it that way till I'm 40.

In this regard, and you and I think alike. I've always believed that romantic relationships have an expiration date, and I really have no plans to get tied down any time soon. The longest relationship I've been in was about 6 months, and I can't be bothered to go longer than that.

As far as lack of confidence goes, well yeah, that would be the bigger, more common reason why some people are single when they want to be in a relationship, but the question put forth in this thread was only brought up to explore one of the many reasons some fail at love/getting laid.

 

[Gamer_152]

Oh, people are as willing to judge women as ever, and I think the culture we have does set up unrealistic standards of beauty and places far too much worth in looks, but I don't think this stops people from getting laid, human beings are still going away at it like they ever did. In fact if anything the raising of standards has had the opposite effect where people are now more desperate than ever to augment their appearance to fit these new standards.

 

[Lilani]

-snip-

I always told myself I would never go out with someone unless I saw some potential to marry him. I am now 20, and I got a boyfriend just this past April. My very first. Though I know it will be a few years before I know for sure if I want to marry him, but still. I can't think of any standard higher than that.

Also, I came by him by pure luck. I was not, by any means, actively seeking a guy. We happened to sit next to each other during Anime club at our university. And the only reason I started sitting next to him in the first place was to avoid a other guy I didn't like who was hitting on me.

 

[shitoutonme]

I always told myself I would never go out with someone unless I saw some potential to marry him. I am now 20,...

But why!? What's so important about finding a life-long partner on your first try? Haven't you ever heard of "familiarity breeds contempt"? Maybe it's just me, but that saying applies to me so accurately that it's scary sometimes.

... and I got a boyfriend just this past April. My very first. Though I know it will be a few years before I know for sure if I want to marry him, but still. I can't think of any standard higher than that.

Also, I came by him by pure luck. I was not, by any means, actively seeking a guy. We happened to sit next to each other during Anime club at our university. And the only reason I started sitting next to him in the first place was to avoid a other guy I didn't like who was hitting on me.

Then, you are living proof that this concept has merit. Not that that's a bad thing, however. If you're cool with that, then hell, it's all good.

 

[Nunny]

My standards are Non-existant and yet i still cant manage it 0.o

 

[Lilani]

-snip-

It's not that I'm trying to find a lifelong partner on the first try. It's just that I don't see a point in getting into a relationship if I don't see it going very far :3 I don't like the concept of "playing the field." I just see that sort of thing as fear of commitment--the fear of finding that "one" and then actually having to consider a serious relationship.

Oh, and I think I should mention I haven't told my boyfriend about that marriage thing, lol. It's still WAY too early to be talking about that. I do still think about it...but I think that's just inherent to being female Take that as a word of caution in the future--women tend to be thinking about 5 steps ahead when it comes to where the relationship is.

 

[Fappy]

Reading through the posts here its become clear many of you guys read far too much into your relationships. Yeah, everyone has standards... for everything (in most cases), but when was it necessary to have some kind of doctrine to live your love-life by? Just go with the flow imo.