Poll: Be yourself: bad advice?

[Doclector]

I've been wondering, isn't "be yourself" the worst piece of advice ever? I'd love to believe the world is sunshine and rainbows, and that people will accept or at least tolerate the person you really are, but that's simply not true. People have been put through hell for being themselves, people have even been killed for following this advice. I tried "being myself" all through school, it only got me extra beatings. This is an intolerant, anti-individualist society, and that needs to change, but it ain't gonna change for a while yet, and so people who are different from the societal norm perhaps should keep their heads low around people they don't know and don't trust. When you are alone, or around a group of people you know and trust, then's the time for "yourself", but if you expect safety, it may be best to keep that hidden in public.

TLR (seriously? It's one paragraph. Damn "too lazy didn't read"...): I feel "be yourself" is dangerous advice. What do you think?

DISCLAIMER: I am not against self expression, but whilst people should be able to be themselves, too often it isn't safe to be. At least, in my opinion.

 

[Jamboxdotcom]

There's a thing called "tact", and another thing called "caution". You can, and should, be yourself; but you should use tact and caution in doing so. Not everyone wants to know or will be comfortable with every aspect of your personality. Putting up walls or compartmentalizing is not the same as "not being true to yourself" or whatever bullshit expression people will use.
Seriously, i sometimes think almost every discussion can be summed up with "moderation is the key".

 

[Hosker]

This is normally given in relationship advice, in which case I would say yes. Otherwise, there are some situations that acting differently can benefit you, but I would still say you should be yourself most of the time.

 

[Rawne1980]

Of course people should be themselves. Who the hell else are they going to be?

Have a look around. No seriously, go outside and brave the sunlight for a few minutes.

There is no "society norm". There is no such thing as "normal". Every bugger is different (apart from those that attempt to be different but end up looking the same as other people).

The only time I look at someone and physically cringe is when they try so hard to be different for no reason whatsoever and end up looking foolish.

The only type of person I have no time for at all are those that hate life, whine about inane crap and generally look misserable but have no good reason for doing so.

It doesn't matter if you are generic emo number 1298 or typical jock number 4734. Take away the clothing, hair and makeup and they are just random Joe that the vast majority of the world will never know nor care about.

People should just be who the hell they want to be. Who gives a crap if Bob down the road doesn't like your mullet he's probably got 3 nipples.

People really need to get a grip of themselves and stop worrying about what other people think about them because I promise you this, other people aren't worried about you. The odd person or small group may give someone a hard time but the vast majority of the world really couldn't care any less what someone wears or looks like.

 

[Mordwyl]

How can you be honest with others if you can't be honest with yourself?

 

[unicron44]

I think if you're normally a crude, obnoxious person I think when you're meeting new people you should at least be polite. But I think you should always be yourself. If people don't take kindly to you being you, maybe the other person is the problem.

 

[Avaholic03]

"Be yourself" isn't the same thing as "say/do whatever comes to mind". You can be yourself without pissing people off all the time, you just need to figure out how to be more diplomatic about it.

 

[KoalaKid]

I think that it is really important for an individual to be truthful about who they are because there is no way to make ones self better otherwise. Its very true that being yourself comes with the risk of being ridiculed or worse, but I think it may be worth it.

 

[Doclector]

Specifically, what got you the beatings?

acting differently, mostly. Actually wanting to learn something and get somewhere, (not that I forced anyone else) my interest in nerdy things like games and older movies than most people that age liked, pretty much being a nerd.

 

[Korak the Mad]

There's a thing called "tact", and another thing called "caution". You can, and should, be yourself; but you should use tact and caution in doing so. Not everyone wants to know or will be comfortable with every aspect of your personality. Putting up walls or compartmentalizing is not the same as "not being true to yourself" or whatever bullshit expression people will use.
Seriously, i sometimes think almost every discussion can be summed up with "moderation is the key".

Exactly, there is a time and a place to say or do certain things, but knowing when to do so is key.

There are some things you may like that absolutely disgusts the people around you, so when you are around them don't mention the subject unless it's brought up.

I am an honest, patient, and understanding person and I am true to myself, but I know when to filter what I say or do. There are a few people that I know who are just way too much to be around because they don't filter what they say or do to the point that everyone in the group I hang out with, wants this person to leave as soon as we see them.

People have to learn the etiquette of knowing when and where you should be yourself fully and when to reserve yourself.

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

It's really half-assed advice, but it's on the right track. If I had to modify it for the better, I'd change it to "be the best version of yourself". Y'know, have manners, be tactful, be helpful and friendly, but don't compromise your true self by fabricating elements that you believe would make you more appealing (for example, pretending to have a common interest that you've never heard of until this very moment). If you're a pleasant individual that makes one's self worth getting to know, then there is no shame in being open with your nature; if people reject you based on some other arbitrary factor, they weren't worth getting on your side to begin with.

 

[CrashBang]

I'm always myself and some people don't like me but most people do. I've got loads of friends and their parents all love me. I'm loud and opinionated and you'd be surprised how often people actually respect that. I'm not very good when it comes to respecting authority figures like bosses so that's a downfall of mine but, other than that, yeah honesty is the best policy

 

[Llil]

Don't lie about youself. However, it's usually a good idea to not tell things that aren't immediately relevant. That's what I do, I don't try to be someone else, but I often choose to be a toned down version of myself. Not upsetting people saves you from a lot of trouble. I'm not afraid to be annoying when nothing bad can happen to me, but usually I try to be careful with people.

I think "not lying doesn't mean you have to tell the truth" works in most situations.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I'd say it's rubbish advice, but not for those reasons.

But, on topic...on the one hand, yeah, you're free to be whatever you want to be, blah blah blah...on the other, you live in a society full of other people, and you have to follow society's rules. They aren't automatically bad rules just because society makes you follow them. You shouldn't be different from everyone else in those cases when everyone else happens to be in the right...you can argue about how often this happens, but it does to some extent.

Secondly, it's also a bad idea in general. Why be content with who you are, why not try to be who you'd prefer to be?

 

[funguy2121]

I've been wondering, isn't "be yourself" the worst piece of advice ever? I'd love to believe the world is sunshine and rainbows, and that people will accept or at least tolerate the person you really are, but that's simply not true. People have been put through hell for being themselves, people have even been killed for following this advice. I tried "being myself" all through school, it only got me extra beatings. This is an intolerant, anti-individualist society, and that needs to change, but it ain't gonna change for a while yet, and so people who are different from the societal norm perhaps should keep their heads low around people they don't know and don't trust. When you are alone, or around a group of people you know and trust, then's the time for "yourself", but if you expect safety, it may be best to keep that hidden in public.

TLR (seriously? It's one paragraph. Damn "too lazy didn't read"...): I feel "be yourself" is dangerous advice. What do you think?

DISCLAIMER: I am not against self expression, but whilst people should be able to be themselves, too often it isn't safe to be. At least, in my opinion.

Cynicism is itself easy, cowardly and naive. It's also something we've all been guilty of, or at least those of us who are interesting.

You can't keep the ruse up for too long, and people can tell when you're putting on a show. Yes, be yourself, and be honest; just don't wear your emotions on your sleeve. Not everyone's going to get you. You'll find the ones who do, and eff the rest. Personally, I've never won a worthwhile friend or gotten laid from being fake or lying. Being genuine pays off, 'cos people can tell.

 

[Eduku]

Being yourself - not always. Changing yourself, however, that's something different. People often mistake changing who you are as inherently bad, but I don't see anything wrong with changing yourself to be a better person.

 

[Detective Prince]

Hm Be yourself.

Does that mean that I have to be a crazy cat lady with everyone I meet? No. XD That'd be silly. I think there are many different sides to people anyway. I can be immature or mature depending on the situation needed. I'm not going to go to a funeral and crack jokes am I?

It's all aboue knowing who and when you can 'be yourself' and when there are situations where you really shouldn't depending on who you are.