Poll: Being Direct. Yay or Nay?

[PlainTwo]

I'm terrible at approaching girls. Something I'm sure at least some of you can relate to. Here's my situation. (TL;DR included at the bottom.)

I've just started my second year of college. First year of my program because I switched my field of study. There's quite a few attractive girls in my classes, but there's one in particular who caught my eye the moment I saw her and I knew that I had to find a way to talk to her.

She didn't catch my eye in the sense that she's a 10/10 blonde bombshell or anything like that, it's more that she suits my tastes so well (in terms of what I look for physically) that it draws me towards her more than the other girls in my classes. I'd love the chance to get to know her.

My problem is, I have a three day school week. Out of those three days, I see her once, in my Tuesday morning class. I could always just sit beside her or something, but the problem is that I can't exactly have a conversation with her during a lecture. I'll get a couple minutes in before each class at best. I can't talk to her afterwards, either, as I have to head to the other end of the school for another class I have straight away.

So, basically, I have a very small window of opportunity to get a number, Facebook, anything. It's tough to get something like that (at least for me) after only 2-3 minutes of conversing. Therefore, I figure my only opportunity is to just be upfront about it.

By that, I mean simply approaching her before class (or after class, real quick before I head to my next one), explain that I think she's really cute, and that I'd be interested in getting together for a coffee or something later in the week.

It's worth noting that I have never talked to this girl once before, which worries me, as she might find it a bit creepy that I'm approaching her the way I am.

So, my question is, girls, if you were on the receiving end of this scenario, and a random from your class asked you to coffee, would you be inclined to say yes? Creeped out? Happy that you grabbed someone's attention?

Guys who have experience, or any sort of other advice, does being direct like this work? All other girls I've dated, I've either met while drunk, or been introduced. This is the first time I'll be approaching a girl on my own (sober) and introducing myself. Do I have a shot at success?

TL;DR - Really cute girl in one of my classes, don't have lots of chances to talk to her (I haven't yet), figure I'll just go for it and ask her to go for coffee or something. Good or bad idea?

 

[Rylot]

Go for it. Worst she can say is no. She might even say yes.

Edit: On second thought, maybe just try talking to her with out trying anything else. Build up a friendly relationship and then it won't seem so creepy. You'll also find out if she has a boy friend or anything like that, maybe.

 

[JudgeDAN]

Trust me when I say I was in the position too, and every now and then I would feel nervous talking to women. Having confidence can make or break it in some cases, and thats not always easy to do. I know this sounds a bit to take in but in order to feel comfortable being able to talk to people, you yourself should feel equally as confident. You should always be yourself, but you should always be open to new and exciting things. Its a big world out there and sometimes you just gotta go for it.

And to answer your question about the coffee, I say go for it. Sometimes you gotta have fun with life and be able to try new and amazing things. Life is like that vast big ocean, you gotta be able to know your limit and reach out bit by bit. And for the love of anything don't panic if you end up being "friendzoned", it a stupid myth and it leaves you thinking you want more out of what you got. You get what you get, just enjoy it while it lasts ya know.

 

[PlainTwo]

Edit: On second thought, maybe just try talking to her with out trying anything else. Build up a friendly relationship and then it won't seem so creepy. You'll also find out if she has a boy friend or anything like that, maybe.

In a perfect world, this is exactly what I'd do, as it's much more in my comfort zone than just being straight up with her.

I'm not sure if you read my post, but my problem is that I only have about 5 minutes at best to talk to her, on a once a week basis. Building a friendship would be an incredibly slow and difficult process in this case. Which is why I think being direct is my best shot.

 

[Rylot]

Edit: On second thought, maybe just try talking to her with out trying anything else. Build up a friendly relationship and then it won't seem so creepy. You'll also find out if she has a boy friend or anything like that, maybe.

In a perfect world, this is exactly what I'd do, as it's much more in my comfort zone than just being straight up with her.

I'm not sure if you read my post, but my problem is that I only have about 5 minutes at best to talk to her, on a once a week basis. Building a friendship would be an incredibly slow and difficult process in this case. Which is why I think being direct is my best shot.

No, I get that you have limited time. But to me it would seem greatly increases your chances if you briefly just try to make some sort of connection with her to let her know that you exist before immediately jumping into a date. It might mean asking her out in three weeks as opposed to three days from now. I'm not saying you track her down and spend three hours having a deep and meaningful conversation. A quick 'how's your project going?' might get your foot in the door. But do what you feel comfortable with, and good luck.

 

[Not Matt]

you know. i don't think i have ever seen a bar be on 100% here before.

just talk to her, show an interest in her interests, think about what you wanna say to her before you open your moth[footnote] no seriously, THINK FIRST![/footnote], make her feel comfortable. just ask her, she can't be too dangerous.

and make sure you have common interests and that your relationship is not just built on her looks. that tend to go down hill really fast

 

[manic_depressive13]

Don't tell her you want to get to know her because she's cute. Some women might find that flattering but others will find it inappropriate. Just talk to her for five minutes before and after class, then tell her that you'd really like to talk more and invite her to have coffee with you when you're both finished for the day or something.

 

[Batou667]

Unless you're incredibly attractive yourself the incredibly blunt approach probably won't work. Find other avenues to communicate with her and build up rapport - like, bring up the idea of setting up a study group across facebook, or swapping contact details so somebody can set up a class pizza trip, or something. You'll be doing something proactive, and getting her (and others) details in a non-creepy way.

 

[Resetti's_Replicas]

Sit next to her and strike up conversation. Try to ferret out whether or not she has a boyfriend (ie "what did you do this weekend?").

 

[sanquin]

Why exactly can't you talk during lectures? Is the teacher that strict? Or do you want to pay attention to what's being said? If it's the first...well, that sucks. If it's the second, she seems to be distracting you already, why not softly talk to her anyway so others aren't bothered by it?

Anyway, even if you only have a few minutes before class. Those few minutes are enough. Just talk about the class, school maybe, etc. Keep conversation short and simple at first. A few words before class every now and then can already be enough. Then, if you find you like her personality/interests too (if those topics come up in any way) ask her to a cup of coffee.

Being direct with a girl you haven't spoken to before is the wrong way to go in this situation, I think. Unless you're VERY confident and attractive to her. The latter being hard to know beforehand. First let her know you exist, and that you won't bite. (By being friendly and such)

 

[TehCookie]

Don't ask her straight out, take that five minutes and talk to her. You don't have to be friends, but get past the meeting and greeting. When you start having a real conversation with her ask her if she wants to finish it over a cup of coffee (or if you aren't confident you can at least ask for her number or facebook).