Poll: Best Metaphor Ever. I'm looking for one.

[lenin_117]

Something to the tune of, but better than:"her death was merely bitter icing on the ugly sponge cake of violence"

Basic point: her death was but a small part of the violence.
I take it that this is a publicized event, revealing greater violence.

New version: Her death was but a pool of blood. When they shone the light around it, rivers of crimson were flowing.

Or: Like a grain of sand, was her death. Intricate, with many facets and jagged edges: its own unique beauty. But once the eye turned to find where it came from, a vast desert* lay streched out in all directions.

* You can add "of crime" or "that was crime" or such here.

Very artistic. They were good, much deep.

 

[lenin_117]

Also, it should be noted that 39 people voted yes. How many chose no?

 

[savandicus]

Also, it should be noted that 39 people voted yes. How many chose no?

He forced people to vote yes, with two cunny ploys.

First he added a poll, and everyone knows you HAVE to vote if theres a poll, its the law.
Second he made a question where everyone will obviously think the answer is yes.

 

[Hellenion]

As f***ed as a sheep in Cardiff.

Hellenion.

(Ah. I love unfair stereotyping.)

 

[lenin_117]

Also, it should be noted that 39 people voted yes. How many chose no?

He forced people to vote yes, with two cunny ploys.

First he added a poll, and everyone knows you HAVE to vote if theres a poll, its the law.
Second he made a question where everyone will obviously think the answer is yes.

The answer was orange. And I left the option of no vote.

As f***ed as a sheep in Cardiff.

Haha. Is Cardiff in New Zealand?

 

[Hellenion]

Is that Sarcasm? No, Cardiff is the capital of Wales. Wales is subject to several unfair stereotypes involving several activities involving sheep.

Hellenion.

(I'm part Welsh, so all I'm really doing is insulting my family here...)

 

[Frybird]

"People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch"

No cookie for reference, i'm greedy

 

[Wordsandstuffwillbenexttothis8465]

Ha! Fuck you OP!! I didn't click anything in your trap of a poll, and I still got the results!! How does that make you feel?

 

[lenin_117]

Is that Sarcasm? No, Cardiff is the capital of Wales. Wales is subject to several unfair stereotypes involving several activities involving sheep.

Hellenion.

(I'm part Welsh, so all I'm really doing is insulting my family here...)

If your part Welsh does that mean you like...... only doing sheep when the front half's been chopped off? Sorry, that was disgusting.

 

[Hellenion]

"Silently waves English flag."

Hellenion.

(Lol.)

 

[Jumping_Over_Fences]

"Have sex with her is like throwing darts at a hamburger." (DAMMIT! My metaphors always turn into simile. Oh well, that was originally a comment made by me about some chick I was seeing. I said that while drunk, even I don't understand it.)

I don't know if this truly classifies as metaphor, but it is at least mentioned. From Mountains of Madness, the wonderful Simpsons episode written by the amazing John Swartzwelder:

Carl: According to the map, the cabin should be right here.
Lenny: Hey, maybe there is no cabin. Maybe it's one of them metaphorical things.
Carl: Oh yeah, yeah... Like maybe the cabin is the place inside each of us, created by our goodwill and teamwork.
Lenny: Oh! ...Nah, they said there would be sandwiches.

I always think of that when I metaphors are discussed.

 

[GodsOneMistake]

not the best one ever but funny none the less

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

Thats a comparison.

Don't blame me i just googled "best metaphor ever" and thats what came up

 

[ghalkhsdkssakgh]

"Have sex with her is like throwing darts at a hamburger."

This is brilliant. I don't think it makes any kind of sense but I'm still going to try and work it into conversation at least once a day.

 

[lenin_117]

not the best one ever but funny none the less

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

Thats a comparison.

Don't blame me i just googled "best metaphor ever" and thats what came up

It was funny but not what i was looking for

 

[crooked_ferret]

this topic is ridiculous...
oh well whatever monica's your clinton..

whatever mows your lawn
whatever rumps your roast
whatever creams your twinky
whatever fires your rocket
whatever smurfs your smurf

 

[TheZapper]

The only thing that we have found from this thread is that a lot of people need to learn what a metaphor is.

 

[claudegreengrass]

This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you've got a moment, it's a twelve-storey crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying 'This Is a Large Crisis.'" (Blackadder)

 

[skywalkerlion]

Assuming makes an ass out of "u" and me.

..not very good, but it still counts for something, right?

 

[MattZero]

(Blank/whatever the person is talking about) reminds me of the thousand monkeys set on a thousand typewriters... It doesn't matter how high their aspirations or their bizarrely effective PM campaign it doesn't change the fact that they will always produce a shit-stain on a piece of paper and a shit-stain by any other name is never Shakespeare.

it's a pretty versatile and sort of high minded way of saying "whatever you are currently describing is epic shit"

 

[AdmiralWolverineLightningbolt]

well it was all going great, my boat was fucking floating and then some, she really stopped it from sinking, great gal. but then, as i was ready to dock at her port, which she had been leading me to all night, she decided not to open her gates and left my boat floating but stranded with nowhere to land. so rather then just let it sink and bringing disappointment to my many sailors, i said fuck you and was quite content to just toot my own horn and be done. havent seen her since and have an aversion to sailing now