Poll: Can you defeat yourself

[Vigormortis]

Well, let's consider:

More than likely, ruling out dopplegangers, clones, hallucinations, etc, the reason you'd suddenly be facing down a (seemingly older) bearded version of yourself is because your future self went back in time with the intention of mugging you. For whatever reason.

Considering this, if you choose to fight back, we will have one of two scenarios occur.

In one, you will defeat your future self. This will lead to you likely realizing the futility of traveling back in time to mug yourself. Meaning, your future self will never go back. Which leads to a paradox.

In the other, you lose to your future self; who likely walks away gloating about the new found money he took. In this scenario, you may feel a need for revenge. As such, you may end up deciding, at some point in the future, to go back in time and steal the money you lost in your youth. This essentially closes the loop.

In effect, our choices are:

* Win the fight, cause a time paradox
* Lose the fight, allow events to pan out

So...yeah. Losing is really the only option.

 

[Joccaren]

I would never fight myself, as I have several scenarios set up in my head for dealing with a Time Traveled/Parallel dimension me that I meet, and they would too if they are me. Hence, rather than force my hand for money, I would explain why I need it, and ask for it.

Hence, if this person is attacking me, they are not truly me - merely something that carries the same physical attributes as me. Could I beat myself? Certainly, though myself could also beat me. It would come down to a lot of luck, though in the end there can be only one...

 

[ParanoidEngineer]

I'd just start a debate about why they feel the need to take my money. Since I'm quite reasonable I'm sure we'd fine a mutually satisfying solution.

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

I'd give it a shot but neither of us would be very good fighters.
It'd be the lamest-looking fight of all time.

 

[lacktheknack]

And then we stare awkwardly at each other for two hours because neither of us wants to throw a punch.

If either of us do, it's a techniqueless flail that does little to no damage and is easily avoided.

And then I walk off, and my other self just stands there hanging his head in confused shame.

I got this, guys.

 

[Vhite]

"Come on, give me the money, or things will get messy! Ehm, s-sorry, hypothetical situation forced me to say this."
And then he hurriedly walks off.

Yes, I would.

 

[algalon]

Where's the "I have a twitch punch reflex and my double just triggered it" option? When it comes to fights, I process my environment and responses exceedingly fast. If there's an out, I'll find it. If not, the fight will last 5 seconds or less, like most gunfights. If nothing else, I predict a Sherlock vs Moriarty type scenario with both people deducing the best way to win.

 

[dimensional]

Hmmm well this other me sounds kind of stupid I mean seriously if he wanted to mug me he would have got the drop on me and laid me out then taken my cash but not only does he give away the advantage of surprise but also tries to mug his double without bringing a weapon. From this I gather that the other me is extremely stupid when it comes to confrontations and as such I would stand my ground and probably kick his arse.

Even if we supposed all things were equal and I had no choice but to fight (usually I would run and try and get backup or a weapon or anything to try and even the odds) there is a 50/50 chance of me winning so its not terrible odds. We would probably both be pretty beaten up though unless a stupid mistake is made early by one of us.

If he was me it would be a different story perfectly symmetrical violence never solves anything after all.

 

[Nouw]

I'd ask him what he wants to buy because chances are I'd want it too. Hell, we could combine our money to have double!

 

[Flamezdudes]

Immediately thought of this when I saw this thread.

 

[Bravo 21]

50/50, we both seem to be trained in battles of attrition and running, so it's probably going to go down to luck. However, I would probably just give him the wallet, after all, he is me (and I inherently trust myself), and that beard will give him an undeniable edge in combat.

 

[Simon Pettersson]

I would most likely just stand and looking at me ...
And maybe let him have my money and take over my life.
He has a beard that is awsome!!

 

[neoontime]

Easy. Attack his weak point, his self-esteem.
Being reduced to a mugger and having a shabby beard gives too much new material!

 

[dwharmon]

I have a tendency to believe that I've adequately prepared for anything I try; therefore, my bearded counterpart will be confident that he can handle me. However, I also have a tendency of overestimating my abilities, meaning that if I actually attack him instead of making some smart-ass attempt to get out of the situation, I may be able to defeat him since I (and I'm assuming we) have no fighting experience.

 

[Denamic]

I don't even have to try.
If I don't beat myself, I have already beaten myself.
Zero effort win. Unless I come up with the same conclusion as I did...
Curse you, myself! Sometimes, I'm just too crafty.

 

[Twilight_guy]

My one chance at perfectly symmetrical violence! I take it and begin a glorious and utterly futile perfectly matched fight that leave us both knocked out! YES!

 

[BrotherRool]

I was going to say what Nouw said. I'd give me the money because that way I win right? I'd try to shame him into not fighting.

If I needed to win though, luckily I'm really really twitchty and the first natural reaction to someone jumping at me would be to lash out hard, so I'd catch him and hopefully knock him to the ground.

From this point whatever I do, I win, because we've got identical abilities and I've just won the upperhand, as long as I go in slow (I'd probably tussle on the ground because I'm a pansy who can't throw a punch) there will be no way to win the engagement. It'll will be a slow war of attrition but it will end with alternate-me alternate-face-down with my alt-arm twisted behind my alt-back, and me sitting on my head. I'm probably really wishing that I'd sat down and thought of a cleverer way to engage myself...

...but I clearly did know I was going to fight myself, afterall I chose to ask myself for money rather than some random stranger (unless I expected me to just give the money on account of not enjoying robbing complete strangers, but I would try and help him out there), anyway since I knew I was going to fight, I'd either bring a weapon that I knew I wouldn't have since normal-me wasn't planning to fight, or knowing that a leap would trigger reactions and end in my defeat, he would go for a slow grapple first and use the tiny advantage to win...

... except he would be calculating and I would be afraid so I'm likely to have the greater adrenaline and win again. Knowing this alternate-me would have deliberately trying to hype himself up as much as possible, possibly seeking out some sort of drug to help out and he'd kick my arse...

...naturally I now know what alternate-me has planned to do the minute he asks for money and I know how he's prepared but although I have the space to outsmart him, I don't think I would have the ability in my situation. Unless I fought a war of attrition, fighting completely defensively, running away etc to delay the time until the drug wears off and he starts feeling a downer and then pounce...

...but now alternate-me knows that I'd prepare my tactics in a fight to beat him too and wouldn't take any drugs and instead use the advantage he gains when I try and run away to beat me...

... so I wouldn't actually run away but I would pretend to and then suddenly launch a counter-attack...

...which he would be expecting so he would knock me down onto the floor...

... but I'd be expecting the counter-counterattack, so instead I would dummy counter and then rugby tackle him when he incorrectly flinches...

... but I'd realise this is stupid and it's impossible to outthink myself. I'd way up how much I need money from myself, and if it's worth a 50% chance of failure, I'd flip a coin on whether I should attack myself first or dummy attack myself first, making outthinking impossible. Naturally normal-me would also do this and since none of us know if heads fall tails in the alternate universe or coins fall the same the result of our battle would come down to chance

 

[Something Amyss]

I'm a cheating bastard. If I were to jump myself in a dark alley, I would probably make sure I stayed down.

 

[Exocet]

I would initiate a dance-off, upon which we would be both so terrible, we would both lose, then walk away in shame.

If I refuse the dance-off, then I would try to confuse me by asking me if I am hitting me, or hitting me. Then I would punch me in the throat, counter-mug myself take my own money and run away.