Poll: Cheating and you

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

Physically is worse.

See if it's just mentally...then my partner could potentially turn it into a platonic relationship, or stop those feelings.

if it's physical...then it implies that not only did she have those thoughts, but she also gave in to them. That's why it's worse.

 

[Slash Dementia]

I chose "I'm male - equally bad"

I choose this only because I feel they're both kind of the same in a way. If your partner is going to emotionally attach themselves to someone else, it pretty much tells you how replaceable you are. I have the tendency to try to believe that "I'm the one for her, she's the one for me." This makes me think that I'm irreplaceable, and finding out that I'm not comes as a shocker when the person I'm with decides that there's someone else who's better.

Physically, I find it a lot worse. I even feel bad if the person has been with someone prior to myself. I'm a really jealous person, and I hate that. Knowing that intimate affection or even just a kiss has been shared bugs me to no end. I get that the person is no longer with them, but it's just at the back of my mind (like Dante Hicks in Clerks when he finds out that his girlfriend blew 36 other guys). Either way, physically cheating means that they don't care enough to control themselves.

I've only cheated emotionally with...well, four girls that I was in a relationship with, then I broke up with them or they with me. My ex cheated on me physically and then lied to me that she didn't--my friend saw her. We didn't really "love" each other, so it didn't really hurt. It just made me realize that that was out there. My current girlfriend, I would never cheat on, and I doubt she'd cheat on me.

 

[FamoFunk]

F - Physically cheating.

You're actually taking action knowing you're already commited to someone else. With mentally, you cannot help having feelings with someone else and you're not actually doing anything with them. You can end your relationship knowing you haven't done anything behid someones back and will cause less pain.

 

[crudus]

A physical affair can happen when you put people in the right circumstances with enough bad decision juice. An emotional affair is over time and can be stopped at any point. Emotional is worse.

Bad decision juice is just a douchebags poor excuse to dodge a bullet. It's not a valid excuse.

I didn't say it made it ok. I said physically cheating is an easier trap to fall if all the planets align correctly. It still is bad.

 

[zehydra]

Physical relations with someone outside your relationship is like sealing the deal that you don't really care about someone.

Although I agree in principle, it would seem the world has seen that to be a too simplified deduction.
You can still care deeply about someone when you physically cheat on them.

I would say that if you cheat on somebody then you care a lot less about that person than you might think you do.

 

[Dragonborne88]

I can't really understand the motivation somebody would have to cheat on someone flat out. I'm way to loyal to ever entertain the thought, and the guilt would tear me apart if I didn't do something about it beforehand. If you aren't happy with your current relationship, why not end it and go to the person you are cheating with? It's a thing that I'll never understand.

 

[AngelSephy]

I selected Female - Both.

Physically cheating is an obvious deal breaker. As others have stated, you show that you don't honestly care for a person if you willingly go out and fool around with others! Being in a relationship is a promise to remain constant/faithful to the one you are with. If you can't keep that promise, then it's better to walk away than make the one you're with feel pain.

To me though, emotional can be just as bad as physical because emotions can change. Now, I'm not referring to those occasional observations of an attractive individual. We all do it and are only human. If someone claims otherwise, chances are they're lying and just won't admit it. But when it delves past a quick thought, that's when it becomes a bad thing; and calls your dedication to the one you're with into question!

Honestly, I've been cheated on. It hurts badly! To know that the one I cared about didn't share my level of dedication made me feel as though I was worthless. But it was mainly how he went about it, and how I found out that made it hurt the most. Call me stupid since this was also my first boyfriend... but it impacted me in a way that affects my thinking now. Trust is a big thing to me. So when you go against that trust, it makes me wonder whether or not you're serious at all.

 

[Biodeamon]

You forgot to put a "none of them" option on the pole.

 

[Aranialis]

A physical affair can happen when you put people in the right circumstances with enough bad decision juice. An emotional affair is over time and can be stopped at any point. Emotional is worse.

Bad decision juice is just a douchebags poor excuse to dodge a bullet. It's not a valid excuse.

I didn't say it made it ok. I said physically cheating is an easier trap to fall if all the planets align correctly. It still is bad.

the things here with the bad decision juice is that, no matter how much bad decision juice there is, the right circumstances can always be avoided. If you are smart you know yourself and what situations could lead to a physical weakness, avoiding it would avoid any possibility of it happening.

So knowing that you know its ok, i just put this out there... it can still be avoided, and should, because it will hurt someone to no end.

 

[Aranialis]

You forgot to put a "none of them" option on the pole.

What would be, in your opinion, the worse case of cheating? just wondering.

 

[Prince Regent]

Mentally cheating, well that's the single most stupidest thing I've ever heard of (well today anyway)

OT: In one's mind every man is free.

 

[Amberella]

Female: And I voted for both.

Any form of cheating is never good for the relationship. I do believe however that physical cheating is a lot more damaging, because that's where the trusting issues comes in. I don't think I could ever trust the person again if they did that to me. And it has happened to me before so I know how it feels.


Mentally cheating is bad as well. To me it signifies that you're not all that into the relationship you're currently in. Although it can be talked through and fixed, physical cheating cannot in my opinion. At least for me be fixed in that sense.

 

[Treaos Serrare]

Both are a betrayal of your gf/bf/spouse period.
My personal stance is that I will take the person with who she has been cheating and brutally torture him in front of her, not doing anything to physically harm her; just make her watch.

 

[Blow_Pop]

Physical relations with someone outside your relationship is like sealing the deal that you don't really care about someone.

"Actions speak louder than words"

I agree.

I personally get sort of like small "crushes" on girls(99% of the time it's a girl) because I'm in a distance relationship - but I'd never act out on it because I love and respect my boyfriend, if I ever wanted SO BADLY to be with someone else I would take it up with him, although I doubt I'd ever get that longing. I'm not with my boyfriend just to have a boyfriend, I'm with him because I want to be with him and him with me.

If you feel that the person you're with isn't the one you want to be with maybe you should reconsider the whole relationship instead of being a disrespectful ass. Cheating is bad both mentally and physically, but the physical aspect does really seal the deal.

Seconded. Whilst I am very uncommited to the idea of being with one person the rest of my life-since I am a sarcastic cantankerous bastard- if you want a relationship, you get the responsability that comes with it. Unless you're in a willing polygamous relationship, no-one should be cheating on their partner, as it just screams 'This persons better hah hah'

Thirded.From being cheated on more times than I care to count......Its not a nice feeling..... Its just another way of being told you're not good enough. Personally I'd rather the other person just told me that and broke up with me.....

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

Be honest, and stick to one person unless you've agreed to "swing" or whatever.