Poll: Cheating in relationships

[artanis_neravar]

Actually no that I think of it I might have been cheated on> My gf at the time was very into to texting when we were apart we talked a lot through texting. At one point I sent her a message asking something along the lines of what's up, and she told me she was at her (guy) friends house. I was fine with it and just said oh ok I don't want to take you away from your friends, I'll talk to you later, have fun. She immediately accused me of being jealous and how I have to trust her and stop being jealous, despite my telling her that i was indeed not jealous. It didn't really occur to me until recently that it could have been her guilty conscience projecting on to me

 

[Sniper Team 4]

I've never been cheated on, and I've only had one girlfriend my entire life. I was so thrilled with her that the thought of cheating on her never crossed my mind. Then she broke up with me--but that's not the point of this thread, is it?

Anyway, I really don't think I'd be able to stay with a girl that cheated on me. I would not be able to trust her again. Every time she was late, or canceled a date, or said she had plans, the thought would creep up in my mind, "Is she doing it again?" That is no way to run a relationship, and would only end up destroying it in the end.

 

[iphonerose]

49.2% 'have neither cheated nor been cheated on'??? The option should be rephrased 'I have neither cheated nor been cheated on, that I am aware'. That figure couldn't be accurate, could it?

 

[minnull]

I've seen a lot of mentions on the internet of people being cheated on in relationships, to the point where it seems more the rule than the exception. So I wanted to find out if it really is so, or if maybe it's just that the cheated ones are more vocal about it, especially on the internet where anonymity provides a nice shield.

In my personal experience, including those of my own friends and family, cheating is not very common at all. But I come from a culture where premarital sex itself is pretty taboo still, so that could account for the lack of cheating or the lack of anecdotal evidence at any rate.

Regardless, I'm curious to find out if cheating really is all so common in the western (or maybe the more sexually open?) world which seems to be pretty well represented in this forum. So here's a poll for you all to answer, anonymous, of course.

If cheating is common, I'm curious to know why this is so. Is it as simple as people having a lack of self control? That explanation couldn't account for all cases or even most cases, could it?

I know there's a school of thought that assumes/asserts that human beings as a species are not meant to be monogamous and that the forced monogamy prevalent in society forces people into cheating. To those who agree with this view, are you or have you at any time been in a monogamous relationship? Do/Did you then expect your partner to be faithful to you?

And to those of you who have been cheated on, were you able to forgive and forget and carry on a relationship with that person again? How did you bring yourself to do it?

Personally, I cannot imagine being able to sustain a relationship when once trust has been broken. But maybe I'm just a particularly unforgiving person. Plus I've never been cheated on or cheated on someone, so I'm really just speculating about this.

I would like to know other people's take on this though, and hence this thread. Feel free to share, speculate, discuss, whatever.

Question, are we talking about strictly physical cheating or is emotionally cheating on your partner included as well?

Physically cheating but I complete get what your saying (and I still think it's just as bad in certain situations).

 

[minnull]

49.2% 'have neither cheated nor been cheated on'??? The option should be rephrased 'I have neither cheated nor been cheated on, that I am aware'. That figure couldn't be accurate, could it?

You'd be surprised. From the statistics I've run across, most people do not cheat or never get cheated on (of course theres always the 'never got caught' variable but we're measuring the calculable here, speculation aside). Those that never cheat or never get cheated on are more inclined to never bring it up while those that have cheated or have been cheated on usually bring it up when talking about their relationship history.

 

[FFHAuthor]

Physically cheating but I complete get what your saying (and I still think it's just as bad in certain situations).

Yeah...in my opinion Emotional cheating can be more damaging to a relationship than the physical one. I was in an long distance relationship, she was in Australia, I was East Coast US and she cheated on me physically and emotionally, and I think the Emotional cheating was far more damaging and difficult to bear than the physical one. I could understand the physical needs, but emotionally? Talking, connecting, having that kind of intimacy with each other wasn't difficult to arrange in a conversation or talking. It fell apart, but it was the Emotional cheating that she was doing with multiple partners that wrecked everything far more than spending one night with a 'fuck buddy' did.

 

[Amberella]

I've been cheated on plenty of times. Gave them second chances too and just got cheated on all over again. Yeah, I won't ever make that mistake again. I think it's one of the reasons why I'm so insecure. :/

 

[SUPA FRANKY]

Monogamy and "never been cheated on" are separate things.

Anyway, I'm polygamous. I found myself ALWAYS cheating on my girlfriends at the time. It always broke us up, and I found I was never satisfied with a girlfriend. I became part of an open community, sexually speaking, where I discovered fetish and kink lifestyles (I'm not a perv, but I don't mind indulging people who are). I met one of my current girlfriends, introduced her to the scene (she was shy at first). We had a great time.

Then at work I started sleeping with a new girl, who is beautiful. I went out one night for a work do. My girlfriend turned up at the bar we were, and I introduced them. They hit it off. That night my girlfriend expressed physical desire for her, and I admitted to cheating on her. She got upset. She then went and got "even" with me by going and sleeping with this girl too (she'd originally gone over there to have a fight). I turned up to stop the "fight", and we all had an argument. It all ended in us being in a poly relationship, and I'm still not sure how that happened.

I've never been so happy and content in my life, and it really affects everything I do in my life (for the better). Our relationship is open, not to other people to join, but sexually it's open. Having a third person in the relationship helps loose a lot of that insecurity that my first girlfriend once had. Being part of the kink scene, there are a lot of play partners about, and so it's difficult to stay "faithful", by the standard definition, in those surroundings. I do not see any of this as being bad. FOR ME (although I'd argue for everybody), monogamous relationships are merely a societal norm, and an oppressive one at that. Our base instinct is to fuck, and fuck a variety of people. I cannot be satisfied with monogamous restraints, intellectually or physically.

I have two girlfriends I'm in love with, and who are in love with each other. The arrangement works out so well, I can't even explain it, you'd have to witness it. My Christian parents are supportive now that they've seen how we work, and all of my friends became acclimatised to it quite quickly, as did their friends. I don't see our situation changing any time soon, and while we have talked about children, we aren't sure how the emotional states will change. We are convinced that we can raise them normally, but mostly none of us feel that the time is right.

For me, life is good. I think it became good the moment it stopped being "cheating" and started being "life".

Pics/ Videos or it didn't happen. Please...I...I need those pics/videos.

We'll, I've never had a girlfriend before, so I haven't been cheating or have been cheated on ( But that may change soon!).

But I guess if you cheat, then you really didn't like the person in the first place. I mean why would you go through the trouble knowing it would piss her/him off?

 

[zehydra]

I've never done it, and thankfully my then girlfriend also believed it was, as she put it, "disgusting".

 

[OrokuSaki]

Once. I didn't have sex, but once I kissed my ex's best friend. I told her and broke up with her the day after. Most people don't count that as cheating, but I still do.

 

[Rayne870]

need an option for both cheated and cheated on. I cheated on someone long before i was cheated on and i hurt her really bad as a result. i was then later cheated on by two following girls and it was quite painful. so now i know and i never want to hurt someone like that again.

there really isn't much of a reason to cheat either, if you have feelings for someone else you should exit the relationship or talk them through with your partner.

 

[emeraldrafael]

If the relationship is one of those open ones, then there's not really much you can say. I was unwittingly in one of those, and I didnt know till i saw like three other guys waiting for her in a date. At that poiint, I just said sorry and left.

I know I've never cheated on a girl, and I dontt hink I was ever cheated on,t hough I hve had relationships end on good terms cause the girl was jsut not interested in me and was interested in another guy.

 

[Con Carne]

I've never been cheated on. But I have suspicions that I've been cheated on. Since I have no actual proof, I suppose that fits me into "I have neither cheated nor been cheated on."

I am assuming the first part was supposed to be "I have never cheated?"

OT: Since I haven't actually posted mine, as far as I know I was never cheated on, while it is possible I don't think it happened and I never cheated

.....you are correct sir. Thanks for picking up on that. So yeah, I've never cheated.

 

[Verlander]

Spoiler: Previous Text

Monogamy and "never been cheated on" are separate things.

Anyway, I'm polygamous. I found myself ALWAYS cheating on my girlfriends at the time. It always broke us up, and I found I was never satisfied with a girlfriend. I became part of an open community, sexually speaking, where I discovered fetish and kink lifestyles (I'm not a perv, but I don't mind indulging people who are). I met one of my current girlfriends, introduced her to the scene (she was shy at first). We had a great time.

Then at work I started sleeping with a new girl, who is beautiful. I went out one night for a work do. My girlfriend turned up at the bar we were, and I introduced them. They hit it off. That night my girlfriend expressed physical desire for her, and I admitted to cheating on her. She got upset. She then went and got "even" with me by going and sleeping with this girl too (she'd originally gone over there to have a fight). I turned up to stop the "fight", and we all had an argument. It all ended in us being in a poly relationship, and I'm still not sure how that happened.

I've never been so happy and content in my life, and it really affects everything I do in my life (for the better). Our relationship is open, not to other people to join, but sexually it's open. Having a third person in the relationship helps loose a lot of that insecurity that my first girlfriend once had. Being part of the kink scene, there are a lot of play partners about, and so it's difficult to stay "faithful", by the standard definition, in those surroundings. I do not see any of this as being bad. FOR ME (although I'd argue for everybody), monogamous relationships are merely a societal norm, and an oppressive one at that. Our base instinct is to fuck, and fuck a variety of people. I cannot be satisfied with monogamous restraints, intellectually or physically.

I have two girlfriends I'm in love with, and who are in love with each other. The arrangement works out so well, I can't even explain it, you'd have to witness it. My Christian parents are supportive now that they've seen how we work, and all of my friends became acclimatised to it quite quickly, as did their friends. I don't see our situation changing any time soon, and while we have talked about children, we aren't sure how the emotional states will change. We are convinced that we can raise them normally, but mostly none of us feel that the time is right.

For me, life is good. I think it became good the moment it stopped being "cheating" and started being "life".

Pics/ Videos or it didn't happen. Please...I...I need those pics/videos.

We'll, I've never had a girlfriend before, so I haven't been cheating or have been cheated on ( But that may change soon!).

But I guess if you cheat, then you really didn't like the person in the first place. I mean why would you go through the trouble knowing it would piss her/him off?

Ha, yeah, get that a bit. I think that it's harder for men... in my personal experience (one which may or may not be shared), men tend to be more interested in straying away. Monogamy (monoarmoury, or whatever) is quite rare in most mammals, so it seems strange that we do it.... but some of the happiest people in the world are monogamous, and good luck to the I say. Maybe I'm just a bastard!