Poll: Clumsy Sex and Movies

[Images]

Watching movies and HBO lately I noticed a bit of a change. Namely, that a lot of the sex shown in the visual medium these days has much more of a sense of reality to it. By this I mean that its a lot, for lack of a better word, clumsier. Less do you see the hilarious sensual long pan of grinding to saxophone on silk sheets. Now sex on film in a few flicks is a lot more of a messy uncoordinated affair. I thought, "Yep, that's more like reality" but my girlfriend disagreed and said great sex isn't clumsy and we have great sex so it can't be so. Though I love that argument (who wouldn't?) I still think she's wrong and that sex, great or terrible is usually a fantastic mess that hollywood have only started getting a grip on.

What do you think?

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Fuck Hollywood and Hollywood sex. When I have sex, I have to take my shoes off. And then my socks off, because that would just be silly. And my girlfriend has to take her shoes off, and her socks off. No sexy striptease, just two people seating on the edge of a bed, untying their laces and removing smelly socks. I don't remember the last movie where the characters removed their shoes/socks before having sex. Movies just pan through clothes like they were neatly shed off in a single file and then you see the two people who ALREADY had sex. And if they are shown "having sex", it's just juts a mesh of quiet pans and tilts of vanilla humping. Because apparently in Hollywood people fuck through their pants, and it's an ominous, almost religious affair. No talking, no laughing, no whoops, nothing. No "Is it alright if I switch the fan on?" or "Do you mind if we change positions?" and both come at exactly the same time. Gives "fucking boring" a new meaning.

 

[Images]

Fuck Hollywood and Hollywood sex. When I have sex, I have to take my shoes off. And then my socks off, because that would just be silly. And my girlfriend has to take her shoes off, and her socks off. No sexy striptease, just two people seating on the edge of a bed, untying their laces and removing smelly socks. I don't remember the last movie where the characters removed their shoes/socks before having sex. Movies just pan through clothes like they were neatly shed off in a single file and then you see the two people who ALREADY had sex. And if they are shown "having sex", it's just juts a mesh of quiet pans and tilts of vanilla humping. Because apparently in Hollywood people fuck through their pants, and it's an ominous, almost religious affair. No talking, no laughing, no whoops, nothing. No "Is it alright if I switch the fan on?" or "Do you mind if we change positions?" and both come at exactly the same time. Gives "fucking boring" a new meaning.

You had me at "whoops!". When the hell do movie sex scenes have whoopses, except when the sex is being portrayed as bad which is just ridiculous?

 

[DefunctTheory]

Spoiler: Nasty Stuff Inside

Sex is, at it's very core, a messy, nasty, clumsy act. One person takes a roughly pole shaped organ situated at his groin and jams it repeatedly into another persons orifice. Sweat is generated in copious amounts. Other such fluids are generated at the contact point. Hairs gets mussed and soaked, muscles contract wildly, and it ends with the explosion of a mystical fluid that stickier then the best glues, yet still manages to spread all over the god damn place. And that's just normal hetero sex.

It's fucking wonderful, is what I'm trying to say.

All the same, if you take each individual component of sex apart and look at it on its own, sex a miserable, gross necessity.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

It's impossible to look sexy whilst taking your socks off stood up, I feel that's never properly represented. And sex is always weirdly low key in films, even when they're supposedly drunk. No one ever has quiet, low key sex when they're drunk.

 

[game-lover]

Spoiler: Nasty Stuff Inside

Sex is, at it's very core, a messy, nasty, clumsy act. One person takes a roughly pole shaped organ situated at his groin and jams it repeatedly into another persons orifice. Sweat is generated in copious amounts. Other such fluids are generated at the contact point. Hairs gets mussed and soaked, muscles contract wildly, and it ends with the explosion of a mystical fluid that stickier then the best glues, yet still manages to spread all over the god damn place. And that's just normal hetero sex.

It's fucking wonderful, is what I'm trying to say.

All the same, if you take each individual component of sex apart and look at it on its own, sex a miserable, gross necessity.

I just made a sound that was part laugh and part gag, I think...


Anyway, this reminds me of this thread I saw a long time ago where someone asked everyone to just start naming all the things that hollywood sex never shows. It was really quite informative.

I'm also reminded of this epiphany I had also a while ago but not as.

And that... is that humans are disgusting. It's true. I think I sorta compartmentalize this whole thing for myself.

I wanna have sex but I know it's one of the grossest things out there and sometimes it offends me when I hear about how people how choose to do it. One of those weird things.

This all being said, I have no idea because I'm a virgin. I can't tell you how sex is really supposed to go down. But I will say a lot of the scenes have stopped doing the sort of quick, music in the background deal these days.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I can't tell you how sex is really supposed to go down.

I'm not sure anybody can.

 

[Johanthemonster666]

Hollywood(and most major shows on HBO and Showtime) glamorize sex because it sells. Titillating the viewer with boobs, naked people to become invested in the story and into the drama.

Personally I'm in the 'Does it have a purpose?' camp. If it doesn't lend itself to the plot, to character development then it's just filler/lazy writing to raise the drama, or just wake the viewer up long enough for an upcoming important scene. The softcore element of these portrayals is what makes them so *not* awkward, gross, or funny like the real thing tends to be.

'Sexposition'(sex + exposition) has become pretty much the go-to way to bring in viewers for shows like "Game of Throwns" and formerly "Spartacus" while still pretending to be keeping with the plot. Sex can be incorporated into mostly anything if done correctly and written/directed with purpose.


As for how 'realistic' sex on TV/film is compared to real life- again they're shot in a very deliberate, glamorized 'softcore' fashion so we all know it doesn't always turn out that way for people in real life.

Probably the only 'realistic sex' I've seen in any movie was in "Shortbus" which literally showed people actually having sex (in all its sexy, sometimes hilarious and awkward glory).

 

[Zhukov]

The thing that always jumps out at me is that nobody ever seems to smile or laugh while doing the deed.

It's like they're either utterly miserable or taking it way too seriously.

 

[ItouKaiji]

You guys all take your socks of during sex? What a bunch of weirdos. When I'm down to just my socks that's when my girl knows it's business time.


Also, probably a more realistic depiction of what sex is like....

But yeah, in general Hollywood still isn't very good at portraying what sex is like, but some idealized version of it. Which is fine with me, I know the difference between real and fantasy.

 

[Images]

But yeah, in general Hollywood still isn't very good at portraying what sex is like, but some idealized version of it. Which is fine with me, I know the difference between real and fantasy.

True. Now I understand that with elements of plot and setting but shouldn't truly human elements like sex be a reflection of reality?

 

[gazumped]

Eeevverything is clumsier in real life than it is on screen, generally. It makes for much easier watching if they polish everything up, after all.

I was watching some super old Doctor Who a few weeks ago, like, 1963 first Doctor era, and it's very noticeable that they weren't able to do multiple takes of shots - often the actors would miss cues for dialogue and start talking over each other when they think the other's finished, and have to stop what they were saying, wait, and start again. It was noticeable because it is something that always happens in real life and (nowadays) never happens on screen (unless it's purposely there to show some kind of awkwardness or rudeness). In Hollywood, everyone is psychic and knows exactly when everyone else has finished saying what they're going to say. They also often have much more clever responses than most people could come up with on the spot, too.

Incidentally, I don't see why great sex and clumsy sex has to be mutually exclusive? Sex is great when you lose the strength in your arms and fall over and your lover topples down with you ungracefully and you hold each other while you laugh your heads off about it.

 

[KOMega]

Sex in films are a lot less clumsy, and as such I propose that if its going to be glorified why not throw in some 'splosions?

I like me a good 'splosion.

Spoiler: 'SPLOSIONS

Captcha: wild and wooly
The internet knows how it's supposed to go. ;P

 

[Angie7F]

With the right person it isnt as messy as it can be.

Some people are just smooth. But it takes practice.

I think you just need to learn to attract the focus of the other person away from the awkwardness.
Same strategy as magic tricks.
it is all about timing and deception. seriously.

For example.
Sitting on the edge of the bed silently taking off your shoes and socks is miserable.
However if you can convince the girl to come wearing garters and high heels, then you wont have to be taking off sneakers and smelly socks.
Secondly, silently taking off clothing can be awkward.
But if you can order the girl to take off their clothes in a voyeuristic exciting game, then it becomes a fun thing to do.


it is like being a magician. You have to condition the other persons mind and distract them from reality.

I guess the bottom line is, if you know how to entertain, then you will have entertaining sex too.

 

[Angus]

Watching movies and HBO lately I noticed a bit of a change. Namely, that a lot of the sex shown in the visual medium these days has much more of a sense of reality to it. By this I mean that its a lot, for lack of a better word, clumsier.

Game of thrones ftw! Id have to say the sex is moderately clumsy, I like that.
To have some gay and lesbian stuff in there also feels nice and modern, and youd have to guess that thered be homos around even then

I actually(probably) fell a little for my girl when she compared my rape-ness to Khal Drogo. Rape-fetish one of my favourite fetishes, so for her to like the rapiest character that much felt like a commonality that was very important to me^^

 

[ZCAB]

While I agree that sex has become more "realistically" clumsy in fiction over the last decade and a half or so, I think it mainly applies to comedies. Dramatic fiction still tries to go for "pretty" sex a lot of the time, or occasionally just lustful or animalistic sex (which is the case for Game of Thrones far more often than it being clumsy, in my opinion).

But to answer the question: yes, sex in fiction still tends to be "prettier" and less awkward than in real life in my opinion, though far less often than before.

 

[Greg White]

I thought, "Yep, that's more like reality" but my girlfriend disagreed and said great sex isn't clumsy and we have great sex so it can't be so. Though I love that argument (who wouldn't?) I still think she's wrong and that sex, great or terrible is usually a fantastic mess that hollywood have only started getting a grip on.

What do you think?

There is one way to settle the matter with her.

Videotape it and watch it later(note that doing this while underage constitutes child pornography and should not be done under any circumstances). She can be the judge from there.

 

[Jenny Jones]

Superhero movies seem to be popular right now, still no sex scene where they level a city out of passion though...

 

[Angelous Wang]

Superhero movies seem to be popular right now, still no sex scene where they level a city out of passion though...

Smallville covered this quite allot, Clark was afraid of breaking human girls. After a few bangs with Lana (ether him being human or her being superhuman) he eventually worked it out.

So he could bang Lois without killing her.

 

[Casual Shinji]

Well, what do you expect? It's a movie. Name me one thing that doesn't get romanticized on screen? Action, violence, gun battles, fist fights, heroics... It all gets presented more beautifully than in real life, and that's why we watch them.

You know those reality shows where people awkwardly bone eachother under the covers? You really wanna see that in a movie?