Poll: Dating or marriage?

[Not-here-anymore]

Hmm. I want to get married at some point, but it's not like I'm exclusively looking for someone I want to marry whilst dating.
If it all works out for a long period of time, sure, but I'm not in a rush.

 

[Meggiepants]

I personally would find it impossible to determine whether or not someone was marriage material until I had dated them. I mean, it's not like guys come up to you and are like, "Hey, I'm good with kids, a considerate lover and I also do dishes."

You gotta do some dating to find some of this shit out.

Not only that, but I strongly believe that you have to live with someone for a while to know whether or not they really are someone you can marry. I think far too many people go into marriage these days after having six months of awesome dating.

Dating is not living with someone. Dating is you at your best behavior and having all fun all the time. Life is much more than just fun. It's paying bills, dealing with car troubles, dealing with health issues, dealing with work issues, dealing with financial issues... you get the gist.

Until you face these stresses with the one you love and discover how they react under those same stresses, you won't know whether or not you can overcome life's little problems without destroying the relationship.

But that's just me.

Also, random hookups, if this is really what you mean by dating, is sometimes how you find the one you want to marry. Those who cast a wide net, as they say.

 

[Nimcha]

Neither, really. I'm currently dating someone and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with this person. Whether or not that includes marriage is unknown.

I find both attitudes in the OP such nonsense, first of all I hate it when people pity someone who is single. Not everybody's life revolves around relationships, you know. And why would you only date someone when you want to marry them? First of all that puts such unnecessary pressure on the relationship and second of all you're denying yourself the fun on having a meaningless fling or something similar. And for what? Do you really need a marriage contract to validate your relationship?

Ugh, sorry for the rant.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Ultimately, I want to find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. And when I find that person, I don't want to spend the rest of my life as their girlfriend, just as much as I don't want him to be my boyfriend. I want to be his wife, and I want him to be my husband. I see boyfriend and girlfriend as temporary titles. Either the relationship ends, or it goes to that next level. "Dating" is not, by any means, a permanent situation. Sure, it can last quite a long time, but it is never the final destination of a relationship.

To sit there in the "dating" status perpetually seems to me like never taking the training wheels off of your bicycle. Sure, you'll get along well enough, but isn't the point of training wheels to get you ready for the next step?

I always like to throw this story into topics like these. It's a story of a couple who just love each other so much, even as one of them is slowly dying. There's a quote in there that sums it up quite nicely: "Being married is like having a color television set. You never want to go back to black and white."

Holy tear-jerkingly romantic :,( something hasn't made me shed a tear like that in a long time...

I'm a romantic man myself. I want to have just one woman to be with and marry her, maybe not directly soon, but around when I'm 25. For around my age (22), that used to be more of the norm, but now? I'm looked at by my peers as an oddity. I hate it.

 

[Outright Villainy]

Well, I'm in an extremely happy relationship, with no plans of ever marrying. That's not to say I see an end for the relationship any time soon, I just don't see dating as a means to marriage. I know well enough that life is transient, I'm just focusing on the here and now, and now is pretty great. I don't see any reason to want to change that.

 

[NathLines]

Uhm, I'm one of those people who wants to commit himself to another person, but not by marriage. Should I vote "Marriage"? Nothing wrong with dating though.

 

[Custard_Angel]

I see marriage as the logical extension of dating.

 

[bombadilillo]

Can you really vote on this if you aren't/haven't been married? I know OP said "idea of" but you really don't know till you've done it.

I think marraiges is great. Effortless sex is awesome. (I mean getting sex without effort, not no effort during sex.)

But trying to impress people and date comes with its own stresses and time commitment. Being married lets you exsplore other things without that and really gives you more freedom to try new things.

 

[thylasos]

I tend to look for people I can get along with. That's about it. Also, they have to be female, and attractive according to my wildly varying standards.

I don't know if I'll ever get married. Not sure about it, as an institution.

Long term monogamous relationships, certainly. A union sanctioned by state and/or religious body? Not so much.

 

[blAAAm]

Ive need together with my g/f for almost 7 years now. We will eventually get married just not really in a hurry.

 

[azurawolf]

I plan on getting married to my boyfriend eventually but I am in no big rush. I see couples who rush in to it and they are miserable and don't seem happy with each other at all.

My best friend's husband would tell me all the time how much his wife has changed and how he hates his life and can't stand being around her. They weren't even together a year when they got married.

I don't want to get into a situation where I didn't know what I was getting into when I got married. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We have decided that when we get married, it will be about 3 or 4 years away. I am happy with that. I don't want to rush into something I am not ready for.

I want to know that we are able to live together first and can handle problems together without ripping eachother's heads off. Then we will know we are ready to be legally bound to each other.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Dating is fun and marraige is pretty scary, so obviously I prefer the former.
I've only just turned 20 so I don't plan on even thinking of marraige for another 9 or 10 years.

If you're any younger than 30 I am going to laugh at you.

This, to a certain extent. I don't see why people are in such a rush to settle down, it normally ends in tears once the infatuation wears off.

 

[WingedIncubus]

You just need to find someone like that for you. Because, believe it or not, there are plenty of nice people out there in the world. You just have to look a bit harder, and be open. They'll show up where you least suspect them :3 Yes, one day some girl will pop up that will make you eat every one of your words. Then you'll realize what it means to be married for life. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNfvuJr9164]

Tell that to my current girlfriend, and the two other women I'm currently boning on the side in my free time. They are already eating my every word, and more. And they are there for me, and the dream that someday I might settle for them.

And before you ask, yes the girlfriend knows it all. She knows I'm a player and a womanizer, and she accepts it.

I like the fact that you think I'm some nerd loser with no female, when I can just go out in the club tonight and bring one like you home to play with, or just approach any female giving me the look and chat her five minutes before asking for her number for coffee.

I don't blame you, though, it's easy to assume that if a male is a gamer, he is an immature, spineless dude with no life and unable to find quality women in their life.

 

[PatSilverFox]

Why can't I prefer both?
How about both.

 

[PatSilverFox]

Ive need together with my g/f for almost 7 years now. We will eventually get married just not really in a hurry.

7 years?
wow...
hmmm do you think it's time yet?

 

[emeraldrafael]

Living together in a constant state of dating, so that you dont have to do that thing where the wife owns half your stuff is something goes bad.

 

[Lilani]

You just need to find someone like that for you. Because, believe it or not, there are plenty of nice people out there in the world. You just have to look a bit harder, and be open. They'll show up where you least suspect them :3 Yes, one day some girl will pop up that will make you eat every one of your words. Then you'll realize what it means to be married for life. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNfvuJr9164]

Tell that to my current girlfriend, and the two other women I'm currently boning on the side in my free time. They are already eating my every word, and more. And they are there for me, and the dream that someday I might settle for them.

And before you ask, yes the girlfriend knows it all. She knows I'm a player and a womanizer, and she accepts it.

I like the fact that you think I'm some nerd loser with no female, when I can just go out in the club tonight and bring one like you home to play with, or just approach any female giving me the look and chat her five minutes before asking for her number for coffee.

I don't blame you, though, it's easy to assume that if a male is a gamer, he is an immature, spineless dude with no life and unable to find quality women in their life.

I never saw you as a nerd loser without a girlfriend. No, what you're missing is love, and the desire to both give and receive it. You're not immature or spineless, just apathetic.

And if that's really all you want out of a companion, then I have no business telling you otherwise. I guess people who are willing to be used can't exist if there aren't those out there who are willing to use them. I just hope you don't end up in a ditch once the wake of women you've spurned finally catches up with you ;-)

 

[lacktheknack]

I'm into commitment, myself. And I'm most certainly not bitter that I've never been on a date.

<foreveralone.jpg>

 

[tomservo4prezident]

Dating. Multiple women.

Only a sucker would go for marriage these days. Why should I put half of my property and my hard-gained money in jeopardy for a female, and pay for her lifestyle after the divorce while she's boning someone else?

I'm sorry, but you have the most unfortunate outlook on people. I always told myself I'd never date someone unless I saw some potential to marry them. And guess what? I have a boyfriend now, and every day it amazes me even more how much he loves me. And I love him just as much. But even if I didn't love him, I would never hurt him by cheating on him. Nobody deserves that, and I don't think I could never do that to anyone.

You just need to find someone like that for you. Because, believe it or not, there are plenty of nice people out there in the world. You just have to look a bit harder, and be open. They'll show up where you least suspect them :3 Yes, one day some girl will pop up that will make you eat every one of your words. Then you'll realize what it means to be married for life. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNfvuJr9164]

I think he means that he can appreciate love, but doesn't want the attached financial and emotional risk of breaking up a marriage.