Poll: Dating Someone Blind/Deaf/etc.

[Something Amyss]

So why I'm curious: I've been reading a really bad book that I only opted to finish because I have this compulsion to see if it EVER reaches a point. The protagonist is blind. Well, she was. She got better. That's not the point.

The protagonist makes reference to her blindness making dating a no-go. And I suppose from the character's perspective that's true, but it just made me think, because I'd never thought about it one way or another. I don't know many blind people in my age range, but I've never thought of them as different socially. I don't date much period, but I don't see this as any impairment.

But I know for a fact that I'm freaking weird.

Unfortunately, so is the Escapist, so maybe this will no reflect the general public well, but I don't hang around normal people, so it'll have to do.

Poll is being included in hopes that people will be honest if anonymity is allowed. I hope there's discussion material here too.

I have a slightly different reaction to deaf people as opposed to blind people, but it's not for the reason you might think: I have a disability related to my hands. I literally can't type normally. I even got a medical note to get out of the mandatory typing class in high school required for graduation (I taught myself to type at a decent clip with few errors, but it's not orthodox). I grew up around a lot of deaf people due to my proximity to a school for the deaf. Communication is a serious issue, complicated by the fact that a lot of deaf people are quick to mock my handicap. The latter part aside, I'm pretty sure the communication issue would stop me from being able to have any serious relationship with someone who's deaf.

But aside from the fact that I can't speak the language, I don't inherently have a problem with the concept.

So basically: would you date someone who was deaf/blind or had a similar disability? Why? Why not?

Honesty preferred. I'm not here to judge so much as to get a broader cross-section than "just me."

 

[shrekfan246]

I've never really thought about it.

There would be some interesting hurdles to get past, I'm sure, but hey, if they can live a productive life deaf/blind, why should I have a problem with it?

Not to make light of or offend anybody with my poor and tactless wording, but dating a deaf or blind person wouldn't be the strangest thing I'd be willing to say "yes" to.

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

I'd have to say no to the blind person.

The thing about blind people is that I really wouldn't be able to share any of my interests with them. I'm a very physical, outdoorsy person. I like going running, hiking, biking, swimming, etc. Those are mostly things that blind people can't do. Not to mention that my hobbies are also very visual (video games, movies, shooting). What's the point of dating someone if you can't share any of your interests with them?

Deaf people would get a maybe from me.

I wouldn't date a deaf person because I can't speak sign language. If the person could read lips then I wouldn't have any problem dating them.

 

[Zhukov]

Blind wouldn't be a problem. A bit awkward early on no doubt, but nothing that can't be worked around.


Deaf... dunno. So long as we had some way to communicate. I don't know sign language. I suppose you could always just use a notepad.

I've never met anyone my own age who was blind or deaf, so it's never come up.

 

[Stasisesque]

I'm the sort of person who would manage to make completely tactless comments about being able to see, I know this, because I have done this. Luckily, so far, no one's taken offence at my insanely embarrassing social blunders but I cannot see (aha haha) a blind guy putting up with me long enough to actually date. So while there's a good chance I would want to date a blind man, I doubt very much a blind man would want to date me.

My friend's mother is deaf, and I've never had a problem communicating with her despite not being able to sign anything. She can read lips, provided I don't talk too fast (which is also something I have a habit of doing) and it's impressive what you can communicate without words of any sort. I wouldn't have much of an issue dating anyone deaf.

On both counts it isn't really a question of whether or not I would have a problem with it, but whether they would.

 

[madwarper]

I can't say I've had experience, but I'd be willing to try.

Most likely, the blind wouldn't be able to judge me on my lack of fashion, and the deaf wouldn't fault me for my lack of conversational skills.

 

[Strazdas]

I probably wouldnt be willnig to go for a blind person, simply because i would ahve to give up a lot of interests that require vision for that.
I would definatelly not differentiate the deaf one. Sure he cant hear music and whatnot, but thats not a dealbreaker. i guess text messages are great for deaf people now, i dredd to think how hard was for the to communicate back when few peopel were litterate.

 

[Candidus]

Yes to blind, no to deaf.

The simple reason is the communications barrier. I wouldn't learn to sign because I'm simply incapable of that sort of overt, exaggerated physical expression. I'm a reserved man, absolutely not comfortable with acting out, charades style. I'd word it this strongly: I'd be irrationally disgusted with myself.

I'm not just talking about signing outdoors either; I don't care if the empty-eyed, bovine semi-sentients that make up 99% of all human traffic see me signing. I'm saying I couldn't sign even in private, totally alone. It's just unacceptable to me.

Edit: Okay, 99% is too harsh, but you get the point.

 

[mrhappy1489]

Honestly I see no reason that I couldn't have a meaningful relationship with someone, even if they were blind or deaf. At first it would be a strange adjustment, but I think both her and I could find a way to work around it if there was enough of a connection to start a relationship.

 

[A Weakgeek]

Even disregarding the practical issues both would present ( Which is a huge thing don't get me wrong) I think i'd be severly ill equipped to deal with the emotional baggage that most likely comes with.

 

[knight steel]

You're assuming I ever find someone who's actually willing to go out with me-but if a blind/deaf person wanted to date I'd give it a try probably have a one month trial period to see if it could work out or not.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I put unsure. I've never really interacted with fully deaf or blind people on any significant level before, so I don't know how much of a barrier the lack of shared experience or difficulties communicating might be.

 

[Legion]

Yes, but I cannot see where I'd have many scenarios where I'd meet somebody who was either. I barely meet that many new people who are neither, outside of work. Although with a deaf person, naturally that would mean learning sign language, which is not something I'd have an aversion to, but generally speaking the chances of getting into a relationship with somebody who is deaf without knowing it seems somewhat remote.

So yes, I would. I just don't see it as particularly likely.

 

[DSK-]

Sure I would. I have no problem with that whatsoever.

 

[CloudAtlas]

I guess this is one of the questions where you only really know the answer when you're placed in the situation yourself.

Yes to blind, no to deaf.

The simple reason is the communications barrier. I wouldn't learn to sign because I'm simply incapable of that sort of overt, exaggerated physical expression. I'm a reserved man, absolutely not comfortable with acting out, charades style. I'd word it this strongly: I'd be irrationally disgusted with myself.

I think you got a wrong impression of sign language. You can talk using sign language in a rather calm way too. It's just not as easy to read, in the same way as it is not as easy to understand someone talking quietly (relative to the surroundings). You're basically just making some weird movements with your hands and fingers while you're talking regularly.

 

[Roofstone]

Deaf, sure.

Blind? No, I am mute and I need to use sign language.. So.. Someone blind would be.. Difficult.

 

[launchpadmcqwak]

No, i barely get along with girls in the first place so having that barrier would probably make me like them even less...but then again they probably have a legitimate reason to be depressed unlike 90% of the women i know.

Jesus i am an awful person.

 

[Bertylicious]

Of course it wouldn't bother me. I'd get to use a blue badge and the world would become my car park. Deaf would be best because she could still check I was wearing my tie straight and there wouldn't be any dancing.

 

[gazumped]

Just realised I've never met a blind person, only sight impaired (and they've almost all had learning difficulties so I'm afraid they were off my radar for a different reason like legal implications).

I had a deaf classmate last year, though. My two cents on deaf/hearing communication - she was Estonian, I don't know how good she was lip reading and speaking out loud in her first language but she couldn't do either in English outside of a few basic words like 'hi' and 'thank you'. She was still darn easy to talk to, though, even when her interpreter wasn't present - you just scribble on a notepad. I found it pretty much as easy to communicate with her as with anyone else, although I'm not the most talkative of people anyway I suppose. I have actually been kind of interested in learning sign language just since meeting her, so I'd definitely bother with it if I could be in a potential relationship with a deaf person.

Anyhoo, although I obviously couldn't be sure until I experienced it I don't see either of these things as a particularly big obstacle in a relationship. In fact I think I've accepted bigger obstacles when getting into relationships with people I like, like borderline drinking problems or anger issues*.

*Uh, just to clarify, not in a drunken/abusive partner kind of way, just in an annoying/stressful for no good reason kind of way.

 

[Lieju]

My best friend is blind and I never had any issues with that. We both like same stuff and can discuss books and such, so what does it matter? So I'd have no problem dating a blind person because there's no difference in talking with them.

Deaf, though...

I have deaf relatives, and social relationships with them are more difficult because of the language barrier.
It would be like dating someone who doesn't speak the same language, so there would be issues.
My sign language sucks, but if I'd really fall in love I guess I'd have motivation to learn?