Poll: Dating Someone Blind/Deaf/etc.

[Lionsfan]

Yes to blind, no to deaf.

The simple reason is the communications barrier. I wouldn't learn to sign because I'm simply incapable of that sort of overt, exaggerated physical expression. I'm a reserved man, absolutely not comfortable with acting out, charades style. I'd word it this strongly: I'd be irrationally disgusted with myself.

I'm not just talking about signing outdoors either; I don't care if the empty-eyed, bovine semi-sentients that make up 99% of all human traffic see me signing. I'm saying I couldn't sign even in private, totally alone. It's just unacceptable to me.

Edit: Okay, 99% is too harsh, but you get the point.

Have you ever actually seen people communicate with sign language?

It's not wild swinging your arms around like you're playing charades. It's just moving your hands, that's all

 

[Something Amyss]

There would be some interesting hurdles to get past, I'm sure, but hey, if they can live a productive life deaf/blind, why should I have a problem with it?

See, I can sort of see the hurdles, but it never really was something that registered with me.

The thing about blind people is that I really wouldn't be able to share any of my interests with them. I'm a very physical, outdoorsy person. I like going running, hiking, biking, swimming, etc. Those are mostly things that blind people can't do. Not to mention that my hobbies are also very visual (video games, movies, shooting). What's the point of dating someone if you can't share any of your interests with them?

I can sort of see your point, honestly. I'm not really focused enough on one set of activities for that to be an issue, but I guess it could be.

As I am a major audio freak. While music isn't the sum total of my life/hobbies, I kind of wonder how that would jive with someone who couldn't hear, assuming I could ever get past the communications issues.

Then again, I've known at least three deaf people who wanted to be drummers[footnote]And really, I don't see how being deaf would stop them from hanging around real musicians[/drummer joke][/footnote]....

I probably wouldnt be willnig to go for a blind person, simply because i would ahve to give up a lot of interests that require vision for that.
I would definatelly not differentiate the deaf one. Sure he cant hear music and whatnot, but thats not a dealbreaker. i guess text messages are great for deaf people now, i dredd to think how hard was for the to communicate back when few peopel were litterate.

I'm not sure you have to give up your interests just because someone's blind/deaf. You just can't shared certain interests. But I mean, people don't do everything together, do they? Even in a relationship, I've always valued some autonomy.

Like I said, I wonder if this would strain a relationship, but I'm not sure of even that.

The simple reason is the communications barrier. I wouldn't learn to sign because I'm simply incapable of that sort of overt, exaggerated physical expression. I'm a reserved man, absolutely not comfortable with acting out, charades style. I'd word it this strongly: I'd be irrationally disgusted with myself.

Just pointing out ASL can be done in a reserved fashion. Probably other sign languages, too, but I only have experience with ASL and a slight experience with SEL (Signed Exact English, or "hey deaf people, why can't you talk normal like the rest of us!" which is what they really mean when they push it). It can tend towards the hyperbolic but doesn't require it.

Hell, since I grew up in a town with a large deaf community, I can tell you a lot of the locals just finger spell everything. And that's just moving one hand. Pretty small gestures, too. It's not perfect, but it works.

I'm curious if that changes your input at all.

I mean, maybe you still wouldn't want to learn, maybe you still couldn't. A new language isn't EASY by any stretch.

 

[Something Amyss]

Have you ever actually seen people communicate with sign language?

It's not wild swinging your arms around like you're playing charades. It's just moving your hands, that's all

I'll point out two things:

1. Sign language can be very expressive. While I just disagreed with him on the same point, it certainly can be. It's not just moving your hands, either.


This is actually kind of mild, but it was enough to grab national attention and a Daily Show parody.


The second one probably counts as NSFW. I can never tell.

2. Americans are uncomfortable simply using their mouths in the fuller way a lot of romance languages use them, so even minor gestures may seem too much based on cultural expectations.

I'm not saying this makes him right, just saying these things exist.

 

[Drummodino]

OP should check out Katawa Shoujo. It's a visual novel set in a Japanese high school for disabled kids. It is a dating sim, and one of the girls is blind, another is deaf. Also it's incredibly emotional, has fantastic writing and is generally just awesome (I cried multiple times). The impact of the disabilities these kids suffer from are extremely well handled and it shows you just how people manage to cope.

(My avatar is of the blind girl and the protagonist).

So yea I'd date a blind or deaf chick if they were worth it. Deaf would be harder, learning sign and all.

 

[Mr Fixit]

Deaf would be no issue at all for me, I new a girl in college that was mostly deaf, she could speak with a bit of an impediment & hear some things, but she had to read lips to really talk to people. I too am good at reading lips, so we could talk without even saying a word. We would get very funny looks when we started laughing out of nowhere in a silent room. She was quite possibly the sweetest person I have ever met, but she was a bit naive & had led a very sheltered life.

Blind would be another issue though as I have never had any dealings with it. I suppose I could adapt just like with anything else, but I really can't say for sure.

 

[verdant monkai]

OP should check out Katawa Shoujo. It's a visual novel set in a Japanese high school for disabled kids. It is a dating sim, and one of the girls is blind, another is deaf. Also it's incredibly emotional, has fantastic writing and is generally just awesome (I cried multiple times). The impact of the disabilities these kids suffer from are extremely well handled and it shows you just how people manage to cope.

(My avatar is of the blind girl and the protagonist).

So yea I'd date a blind or deaf chick if they were worth it. Deaf would be harder, learning sign and all.

Katawa Shoujo YES everyone play this game http://www.katawa-shoujo.com/download.php

I cry like a baby every time I play it.

Personally I wouldnt go for a deaf person as I like to talk a lot. But I would definitely go for a blind girl because it means I can put ZERO effort into my appearance! and still have someone who loves me. WIN.

 

[Drummodino]

Katawa Shoujo YES everyone play this game http://www.katawa-shoujo.com/download.php

I cry like a baby every time I play it.

Personally I wouldnt go for a deaf person as I like to talk a lot. But I would definitely go for a blind girl because it means I can put ZERO effort into my appearance! and still have someone who loves me. WIN.

Holy crap someone else on the escapist who knows about KS! Lucky day

 

[lacktheknack]

Very yes to both. I have a sort of "thing" about being relied on. I wouldn't mind if they let my inner white-knight be active.

Also, dating a deaf person would motivate me to learn sign-language, something I've always wanted to do.

 

[lacktheknack]

Katawa Shoujo YES everyone play this game http://www.katawa-shoujo.com/download.php

I cry like a baby every time I play it.

Personally I wouldnt go for a deaf person as I like to talk a lot. But I would definitely go for a blind girl because it means I can put ZERO effort into my appearance! and still have someone who loves me. WIN.

Holy crap someone else on the escapist who knows about KS! Lucky day

This may interest you.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/Katawa-Shoujo-Fans

 

[Drummodino]

Katawa Shoujo YES everyone play this game http://www.katawa-shoujo.com/download.php

I cry like a baby every time I play it.

Personally I wouldnt go for a deaf person as I like to talk a lot. But I would definitely go for a blind girl because it means I can put ZERO effort into my appearance! and still have someone who loves me. WIN.

Holy crap someone else on the escapist who knows about KS! Lucky day

This may interest you.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/Katawa-Shoujo-Fans

Well aren't I ignorant. Thank you!

captcha: "trolololol". How rude

 

[Rogue Trooper]

I wouldn't really have any problem dating a blind girl

But just remember if your going to break up with a blind girl, you should give her some sort of auditory warning first.

 

[Hero of Lime]

If I found a reason to really like either a blind or deaf person, I would absolutely date them. Deaf would be preferable since I could learn sign language, or she may know how to read lips. Even so, sure a blind person would require more work, and I could not share everything with her, but if there is a reason I'm dating her in the first place, I could care less.

 

[Fappy]

I think deafness would be much harder to deal with than blindness simply because of communication. My girlfriend had a real concern that she'd go blind one day (she still has an eye condition, but things have been looking a lot better), and when asked what I'd do if that ever happened I told her I'd stay. I didn't really have to think about it that hard. It'd be a pain in the ass, yeah, but she's worth it. I'd like to think I'd feel the same way approaching a new relationship, but I can't say for sure.

 

[Raikas]

You fall for (or lust for) the person you fall/lust for, and if they happen to be blind or deaf, then that's what they are.

That said, I can see communication issues getting in the way of developing a relationship with deaf people (I have an aunt whose husband is deaf - he's a good guy, and fun to do things with, but conversations are rough. He was mainstreamed in school, so he doesn't sign and lip-reading is not as sure-fire as some people think).

I'd have to say no to the blind person.

The thing about blind people is that I really wouldn't be able to share any of my interests with them. I'm a very physical, outdoorsy person. I like going running, hiking, biking, swimming, etc. Those are mostly things that blind people can't do.

I wouldn't be so sure - even aside from the extreme examples at the paralympics - I don't think that's as rare as you're imagining. There's a blind guy in my neighbourhood, and he and his wife do loads of outdoorsy stuff - they're always doing hiking and camping trips. And I remember there being a blind kid at a sports camp I went to as a kid too.


Even on the visual arts piece - my father-in-law is visually impaired and he loves museums. I don't know if he's getting the same thing out of it that the rest of us do, but hey.

 

[Libra]

I don't think I'd have a problem with dating a blind guy. Deaf, on the other hand, would make sharing our feelings difficult, especially as I'm not sure wether I would be any good with ASL.

 

[Teoes]

I'd like to say yes to both and feel like an awesome person, but I honestly don't know if I'd be strong enough to deal with it. It would very much depend on the person.

For entirely wrong reasons I'd love to be able to sign, for the ability to communicate with people in very noisy environments or to maintain secrecy from people that I don't want knowing I'm bitching about. Oh, the hilarity when they reveal they can sign too..!

 

[suitepee7]

yes definitely to deaf, and i'd be open to blind. not because of them, but because a lot of stuff i do with my current partner requires visual stimuli, and if she were blind i wouldn't really know what to do. deaf is a bit easier IMO, subtitles help a lot, just a shame about me being a massive music fan

 

[rasputin0009]

Since watching someone else take a sign language class, I can judge that it is incredibly easy to learn. So, ya, I could date a deaf girl.

And a blind girl would be real easy to impress. I'll take her out on dates and tell her we've gone to the fanciest restaurant in town, but in reality, it's a dive and I'm wearing sweat pants.

Or take her on a car trip to the Niagra Falls, but in reality, I just drove around the block a few hundred times and stopped by a creek to splash water on her.

Or tell her we've gone to her favourite band's concert, but in reality, I've just thrown on a live concert DVD and had a couple of buddies to come over and bump into her every once in a while.

I should probably never meet a blind person...

 

[2HF]

I dated a blind girl for a time.

The sex was amazing but the relationship didn't last because she stubborn and refused to accept any help with things that didn't matter. I remember one argument about the dial on the oven. She'd cranked it to approximately the right temperature as she was accustomed to doing but was a bit off, when I want to adjust it to the exact temperature she flipped out on me. This was a common occurrence. When we were having trouble near the end I mentioned that all we did was fight and have sex, she made a flippant remark about most people calling that a marriage, and I told her that fighting wasn't really my style and we broke up. Her being married didn't have anything to do with it.

 

[Mersadeon]

Well, this is a hard one. I mean, sure, I would date them, but would it work out?

Blind: I'm a very visual guy, all my hobbies are dependent on sight: movies, videogames, books... would I be able to talk to him/her about stuff? But if it works out and we find a lot to talk and joke about, sure, why not.

Deaf: I don't know sign language, and I don't know if I would be willing to learn it for a potential love interest. I guess I would, if we talked a lot (over the internet, I suppose) and I fell in love.
(Why do television channels always tell you to visit the teletext for captions, but only at night? What, do deaf people just not watch telly during the day?)

But above all, he or she would have to have a sense of humour about it. If I can't make a good-natured joke about, we're going to have a problem. Easily offended people normally don't stay in my circle of friends for long.