Poll: Did i have the right to get mad?

[Pekkipang]

Have a personal problem, and were else to go than the
incognito internet.

Me and my gf that have been living together for 2 years(dating for 4)
we decided to split up, and end the relationship. That got decided
like a week ago, tho were living here still as our contract hasnt ended yet.

Tho here is why i got mad, it came to my knowledge that she is/was hitting on someguy on the net.
Saying stuff like "cant wait until i get released from here" and almost having cybersex when im the F*****G apartment, and also talking a nice mix of smack about me. (Can add she dont want anything to do with him apparently, just a cyber fling. dunno if i should believe that.
She only talked to him beacuse she didnt have anyone else. yeah.... right.)

Now when i confronted her, she got mad beacuse i got furious and told her that she didnt
have any respect at all and could wait until we dont live together anymore. Maybe throwing the plate in the wall was to much but i got kinda mad.

(can also add that i havent done anything wrong is this relationship, i cook, clean and everything, she ofc chips in but not close to what i do) Sorry if theres some typos but as u se kidna mad atm.

Edit: We decided to not see other people whilst we were living together, and i have
done just that. Didnt think i had to add that, as in my world its kinda obvious. That after 4 years u can atleast wait for 2 months.

 

[AWAR]

One word: BonSaik.

 

[Estocavio]

Well, i think you have every right to be angry. I call that a lack of common courtesy on her part. And as for breaking a plate, well, she probably provoked you further. Your better off on your own anyway, in my opinion at least.
Hooray for the Internet, the land of anonymity and free speech!

 

[EeveeElectro]

Uhmm.. was she doing it whilst in a relationship with you? If so, yes, you have every right to be angry, neither partner should flirt in a relationship.
If not, then no, you don't. She's doing it to piss you off, so don't rise to it. If you're no longer together, she has every right to flirt with who she wants, but she should have the decency not to do it in front of you.

 

[Inco]

Work on some of the words and structure. I had to re read that a few times to get it together right, even if you are mad, you should still have a decent amount of control to type on the net.

My 2c is asking how did you guys last 4 years in a relationship if you can hardly live 1 week after breaking up. How did you guys get to that point?

She says its just a fling? Its quite common with some girls (not generalizing, i have just seen it alot) to do that but have 0 interest in the guy that they are flinging with, so i would believe that for now.

Yea you can be mad. Not cause i said so, but cause it's how YOU are reacting to the situation. Everyone would react differently (some might be similar, but still).

 

[More Fun To Compute]

I don't see how you couldn't let it get to you but getting angry at her wouldn't help you.

 

[tkioz]

In the abstract you have the right to feel anything you want, pure and simple, you can't dictate what emotions you experience and no-one should belittle you for them, it's actions that matter, not thoughts and emotions.

In your case, I'd personally be angry, adultery is not about the sexual act, it's about the betrayal of a commitment, you were both living together, that's very committed no matter what anyone says, by indulging in even a "cyber" relationship with another party she is betrayal that commitment.

As for talking smack about you... well... it depends, I've ranted and raved about my friends and family to other friends and family, even about my SOs, sometimes you just need to blow off steam, it could be just that "oh he was being a jerk today about XYZ" or it could be something more sinister, putting you down to make herself sound bigger, so it depends.

 

[rossatdi]

(can also add that i havent done anything wrong is this relationship, i cook, clean and everything, she ofc chips in but not close to what i do) Sorry if theres some typos but as u se kidna mad atm.

So why did she break up with you?

I understand why you got mad, but its never a good thing to lose ones anger.

 

[Pekkipang]

it came to my knowledge that she is/was hitting on someguy on the net.

Hmmmm this reads quite suspiciously. Even if it was innocently acquired, no you don't have a right to get mad. She was cybering with someone on the internet after she broke up with you. What has who she cybers with got to do with you anyway? If she's letting her frustration with having to live with her ex (you) out on someone else and sparing you the trouble, you should be happy about it, or at least indifferent. I suspect that when you say "we decided to split up" (spelling/grammar corrected) what you actually meant was 'she decided to split up with me'.

Dont know how long it have been going on. Tho we talked when we broke up and both
parts said and i qoute "We should wait with seeing other people, a breakup is hard as it is"

 

[Pekkipang]

(can also add that i havent done anything wrong is this relationship, i cook, clean and everything, she ofc chips in but not close to what i do) Sorry if theres some typos but as u se kidna mad atm.

So why did she break up with you?

I understand why you got mad, but its never a good thing to lose ones anger.

No love mostly i guess, both lost our jobs.
I tipped over to a friend relationship.

 

[Galletea]

Well it's bound to be difficult if you're still living together. She feels trapped and you still harbour feelings for her. Did you have a right to get mad? Well about the bitching about you, yes, about the flirting with another guy, no. If you've definitely split up then you can't dictate who she talks to (not that you should have been anyway) and considering you're finding things out from private conversations, I'd say she had a right to be furious at you. I'd be furious if I was being confronted about my private messages by my boyfriend. Respect and trust goes both ways. It was none of your business, especially if you've split up.

 

[Slash Dementia]

I believe you had the right to be mad, and I don't blame you. You two are still living together and just broke up; I doubt it's easy to pretend that nothing happened and for you to be feel fine with her dating (not that you should be able to stop her from doing so).

It would have been better if you kept the anger to yourself because it probably caused more than it's worth.
And throwing the plate was a bit too much.

 

[Pekkipang]

I believe you had the right to be mad, and I don't blame you. You two are still living together and just broke up; I doubt it's easy to pretend that nothing happened and for you to be feel fine with her dating (not that you should be able to stop her from doing so).

It would have been better if you kept the anger to yourself because it probably caused more than it's worth.
And throwing the plate was a bit too much.

Nah ofc, i would never stop her from dating. Its the no waiting after 4 years that got me
upset.

I was doing the dishes, and the plate in my hand landed on the wall infont of me.
Not like ran for a plate and threw it at her head. Tho i regret doing it, not worth the
extra cleaning.

 

[Slash Dementia]

I believe you had the right to be mad, and I don't blame you. You two are still living together and just broke up; I doubt it's easy to pretend that nothing happened and for you to be feel fine with her dating (not that you should be able to stop her from doing so).

It would have been better if you kept the anger to yourself because it probably caused more than it's worth.
And throwing the plate was a bit too much.

Nah ofc, i would never stop her from dating. Its the no waiting after 4 years that got me
upset.

I was doing the dishes, and the plate in my hand landed on the wall infont of me.
Not like ran for a plate and threw it at her head. Tho i regret doing it, not worth the
extra cleaning.

Ah, understandable.
But still, loosing one's temper isn't the way to go. One person gets mad and then the other person does the same... I doubt it ever solves anything.

Hopefully things will cool down and so that both of you can live peacefully until the contract ends.

 

[Pekkipang]

I believe you had the right to be mad, and I don't blame you. You two are still living together and just broke up; I doubt it's easy to pretend that nothing happened and for you to be feel fine with her dating (not that you should be able to stop her from doing so).

It would have been better if you kept the anger to yourself because it probably caused more than it's worth.
And throwing the plate was a bit too much.

Nah ofc, i would never stop her from dating. Its the no waiting after 4 years that got me
upset.

I was doing the dishes, and the plate in my hand landed on the wall infont of me.
Not like ran for a plate and threw it at her head. Tho i regret doing it, not worth the
extra cleaning.

Ah, understandable.
But still, loosing one's temper isn't the way to go. One person gets mad and then the other person does the same... I doubt it ever solves anything.

Hopefully things will cool down and so that both of you can live peacefully until the contract ends.

Yeah your are so very right, have always had a short fuse. And havent helped much.

Thank you very much, and i hope so to.

 

[rossatdi]

(can also add that i havent done anything wrong is this relationship, i cook, clean and everything, she ofc chips in but not close to what i do) Sorry if theres some typos but as u se kidna mad atm.

So why did she break up with you?

I understand why you got mad, but its never a good thing to lose ones anger.

No love mostly i guess, both lost our jobs.
I tipped over to a friend relationship.

Then you can't really blame her for looking for a more 'loving' relationship. Whether or not you did anything wrong seems important, as falling out of love with someone after four years is a pretty big thing to just happen.

 

[Insert Comedy Here]

Hah!

Similar story. Involving my step-dad.

Multiple cyber-flings, and me mum found out about them. The hilarious thing was that he tried to blame me. Heh!

Ass.

All the evidence to pin him, and he tries to palm it off.

Naturally, no-one belived him. And I couldn't deny that it wasn't me, I was on the fllor with tears of laughter in my eyes.


But seriously, he really betrayed her trust, and it's a wonder he's still sleeping in the same house, let alone the same bedroom.

 

[Pekkipang]

Hah!

Similar story. Involving my step-dad.

Multiple cyber-flings, and me mum found out about them. The hilarious thing was that he tried to blame me. Heh!

Ass.

All the evidence to pin him, and he tries to palm it off.

Naturally, no-one belived him. And I couldn't deny that it wasn't me, I was on the fllor with tears of laughter in my eyes.


But seriously, he really betrayed her trust, and it's a wonder he's still sleeping in the same house, let alone the same bedroom.

Did he really think that would work =P

 

[Insert Comedy Here]

Hah!

Similar story. Involving my step-dad.

Multiple cyber-flings, and me mum found out about them. The hilarious thing was that he tried to blame me. Heh!

Ass.

All the evidence to pin him, and he tries to palm it off.

Naturally, no-one belived him. And I couldn't deny that it wasn't me, I was on the fllor with tears of laughter in my eyes.


But seriously, he really betrayed her trust, and it's a wonder he's still sleeping in the same house, let alone the same bedroom.

Did he really think that would work =P

Yep. It was on his laptop, which I never used, and on his messenger profile, which I also don't use.

The crowning moment of the situation was how that as soon as he was confronted, that was his fall back plan, 'Blame the Stepson.'

I've only laughed that hard around three times in my life.