Poll: Do racial preferences in dating have roots in ignorance/stereotypes?

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Redryhno

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To a point, maybe, but people have attractions for a reason, they like what they like and some things are firmly in the "Do not want" side of things. Personally, I don't like black girls, nothing wrong with them, and I've met a couple that are quite pretty, but there's just something about them for the most part that just does nothing for me and I just can't find them attractive for the most part. Though, I find most black guys actually quite "attractive"(I r straight), so I dunno what it is.

But, I like this video for alot of reasons when it comes to this topic:


It's primarily a jokey vid, but it's got some good points in it.
 

Shock and Awe

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Oh beauty standards, you will almost always be connected to the race of the person that holds you. I am no different. I tend to find white women more attractive because I am white and as I've grown older I've adopted traits that are more common in white women as the standard of beauty. Women of other races that diverge from these a lot are going to be less attractive. Plain and simple. Its not to say I wouldn't date a girl from a different race, but its gonna be less likely.
 

Joccaren

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Mix of 2 and 3 in the poll. No reasons behind it beyond what I find attractive. I predominantly find white Anglosaxons attractive, though I wouldn't necessarily rule out many other nationalities and races for dating, they just all fit on a sliding scale behind my preference. Some are very close behind, some I'm pretty neutral, and there are some I just wouldn't date as I simply don't find it attractive.

But I generally just view people as people. Different people have different attitudes and opinions, and you can't really group them down based on ethnicity too well on that. Sure, a lot of Japanese may have different values to me in Australia, but Japanese who have lived in Australia for years probably have similar values to me, and even within Japan there will be different groups of people with different values, some of which may be closer to mine than others. There isn't really a way to tell the difference between every person without actually talking to them.
All that race can really do in the dating aspect is give you some idea of their looks, and that is a purely physical attraction thing.
 

cleric of the order

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Strictly speaking I would not exist if my mother didn't have a certain preference
But in general I fall to see the problem here, it's all melanin, some neotony scales and facial features.
Some people find different mixes in different people more appealing or inline with their aesthetic prefrences


Frokane said:
Do you have strong preferences on these things?
Not really, I do prefer lighter melanin ranges but it's not a very big deal breaker, I'd rather the person be interesting
If you do then why do you think that is?
I really don't know or care, It's something unconscious maybe?
How do you view others with preferences?
Why should anyone care what i think about their personal preferences?
It shouldn't matter what I think about another person wants to date or "handle" behind closed doors.
If they hate high


thaluikhain said:
It's racist, yes, and based on stereotypes, though in of itself it's one of the least worrisome ways to be racist. OTOH, if someones say, I don't think X people are attractive, they are too Y...it's not unlikely that this won't be the only evidence of their racism.
How is it based on stereotypes technically?
I mean it could simply be ascetics, though this whole subject branches dangerously close to sexual preference.
As an aside
We can apply that formula top down like I don't want to date fat/male/high nosed folks, they are to fat/male/high nosed.
 

Thaluikhain

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cleric of the order said:
How is it based on stereotypes technically?
I mean it could simply be ascetics,
It'd have to be based on stereotypes about those ascetics, though. Their are certain physical features associated with various races, sure, and it'd be possible not to like those without racism being involved (though often it would be), but then there is a massive amount of difference in appearance within people of the same race.
 

cleric of the order

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thaluikhain said:
cleric of the order said:
How is it based on stereotypes technically?
I mean it could simply be ascetics,
It'd have to be based on stereotypes about those ascetics, though.
Maybe it's wooziness but if I don't quite follow
hypothetically if someone just like a certain series of physical qualities do they have to follow along the boundaries of race.
I mean perhaps if someone specifically dislike the ascetic features of a race then yeah.
but otherwise there are features that transcends races
Bugger I'm sorry I'm a bit out of it.
 

Thaluikhain

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cleric of the order said:
thaluikhain said:
cleric of the order said:
How is it based on stereotypes technically?
I mean it could simply be ascetics,
It'd have to be based on stereotypes about those ascetics, though.
Maybe it's wooziness but if I don't quite follow
hypothetically if someone just like a certain series of physical qualities do they have to follow along the boundaries of race.
I mean perhaps if someone specifically dislike the ascetic features of a race then yeah.
but otherwise there are features that transcends races
Bugger I'm sorry I'm a bit out of it.
The "ascetic features of a race" is often based on a stereotype, though. It might be common amongst that race, but normally not exclusive.
 

cleric of the order

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thaluikhain said:
cleric of the order said:
thaluikhain said:
cleric of the order said:
How is it based on stereotypes technically?
I mean it could simply be ascetics,
It'd have to be based on stereotypes about those ascetics, though.
Maybe it's wooziness but if I don't quite follow
hypothetically if someone just like a certain series of physical qualities do they have to follow along the boundaries of race.
I mean perhaps if someone specifically dislike the ascetic features of a race then yeah.
but otherwise there are features that transcends races
Bugger I'm sorry I'm a bit out of it.
The "ascetic features of a race" is often based on a stereotype, though. It might be common amongst that race, but normally not exclusive.
Oh I think i get a bit more of what you're saying.
but does that apply to the instances of melanin
Or how far down does critical race theory does this go.
 

Thaluikhain

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cleric of the order said:
thaluikhain said:
cleric of the order said:
thaluikhain said:
cleric of the order said:
How is it based on stereotypes technically?
I mean it could simply be ascetics,
It'd have to be based on stereotypes about those ascetics, though.
Maybe it's wooziness but if I don't quite follow
hypothetically if someone just like a certain series of physical qualities do they have to follow along the boundaries of race.
I mean perhaps if someone specifically dislike the ascetic features of a race then yeah.
but otherwise there are features that transcends races
Bugger I'm sorry I'm a bit out of it.
The "ascetic features of a race" is often based on a stereotype, though. It might be common amongst that race, but normally not exclusive.
Oh I think i get a bit more of what you're saying.
but does that apply to the instances of melanin
Or how far down does critical race theory does this go.
Well, melanin is actually an easy example. There are white people who are darker than people who are considered black, because race is defined in a very weird way. Being attracted to lighter skinned people wouldn't exclude many black people.
 

cleric of the order

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thaluikhain said:
Well, melanin is actually an easy example. There are white people who are darker than people who are considered black,
because race is defined in a very weird way.
Like the north African phonetician descendant? (after these 3000 some one years they're pretty African-arab so I guess no)
Also I would actually want to see some of that, sounds interesting
(as for race being defined weirdly yeah, I've been forced through critical race studies, I know, ech lots of bollocks there)

Being attracted to lighter skinned people wouldn't exclude many black people.
Not sure if I disagree, but I can see the reasoning.
 

2012 Wont Happen

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A strict racial preference is probably guided by racism. Finding the average member of one race to be more attractive than the average member of another isn't racist. Hell, I'm white and I find Hispanics far and away the most attractive race in general. Racial preference in dating is usually more about physical attraction than racial stereotyping.
 

TallanKhan

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Not necessarily, and more often than not it would be my judgement that it probably doesn't, although in some cases it probably has a role to play. Now, and I'm speaking purely physically here, while we might think of ourselves as having "a preference" in terms of our ideal partner, in actuality we have preferences for individual features. Our ideal partner is simply someone who hits many or all of these preferences. To a certain extent how strong your preferences are is also a factor, as with very strong preferences it is possible to have a very narrow idea of attractiveness.

Now different ethnicities often share a number of common features so it is not only understandable, but logical that the majority of people will have particular racial preferences, and some moreso than others.
 

Something Amyss

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I think my tendency to date white people comes down to the fact that I live in one of the whitest parts of the US. That's not to say that I'm not racist, merely that I don't really have all the data. I am reasonably sure that I could cause a huge war in my family by coming home with a black partner of any sex. As such, I have dated a couple of black people (which probably breaks the statistical mould) but felt compelled to hide it. I'm not sure this makes me racist any more than hiding things makes me homophobic or transphobic. But still.

I'd like to think I'm more interested in the person than the pigment, but hey, we all have unconscious biases.

One of the important elements, too, is that not all racism is created equal. There are subtle biases and prejudices that may well affect our dating life that don't mean we're going to run out and burn crosses on lawns.
 

Frokane

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Kevlar Eater said:
Even though I have yet to date, were I to, I would not let race/ethnicity determine who I'm interested in. There are quite a few people (both here and IRL) that I would find repulsive, but it's not because of race.

Straight and forever alone. I can live with it.
A little harsh no?
 

mecegirl

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I think two conversations happen when it comes to racial preferences being considered racist. Everyone has racial preferences, it's a pretty standard thing. The problem is that there are people who use the concept of racial preferences to either cover for their racism, or who are misguided enough to think that what they have going on is a simple racial preference instead of racism. Or even people that assume that they have a racial preference but that preference based on a lack of exposure. There is also the fact that our beauty standards can be so centered around one type of person that it puts groups of people at a disadvantage. If one is raised in a society that praises brown eyes or course they are gonna think brown eyes are more beautiful than blue eyes.

To use myself as an example. I'm a Black woman. It is very disconcerting the number of fellow Black women I know that have a "Ive never been attracted to a Black girls before I met you" story. Every damn time it comes from some White man who latter admits that he doesn't talk to Black people often. And when pressed the dude admits that he assumed that my personalty would be different just because I was Black.

The definition of preference is thus : a greater liking for one alternative over another or others.

A greater, not an absolute. There are people out there who either can't or don't see the beauty in others because of their "preferences". But there is a big difference between someone being unattractive and someone not being your type. I.E. Beyonce may not be your type but she ain't ugly. With the range of people out there one is probably better saying that they prefer women with darker skin instead of saying that they prefer Black women because some Black women have light skin and vice versa. Most of the time its really characteristics that people are attracted to not a race.

Story Time!
On another message board I used to frequent there were threads for posting hot people. One for women, one for men, and one for Asian women. I found the fact that there was a separate thread for Asian women weird and assumed that the creators of that thread just had a fetish until I started participating in the threads. I am a heterosexual women but I had fun posting in all threads. It was actually harder to post in the thread for men than it was for women. My attraction to men would cause *coughs* distractions while searching for new candidates for the thread. :p

Anywho, I found that most of the women posted in the thread for women were White. I brushed it off as a racial preference based on the fact that most of the posters were White. I posted people of all races when I would post. And at first the responses were positive. The first red flag was that other posters would speak of how they didn't know that they could, or were allowed to, post women who weren't White in the thread. And then a small but vocal percentage of the posters would start talking about their "preferences". As time wore on other posters started to feel more comfortable posting women of color. And the posters with "preferences" wouldn't stop grumbling about it.

It seemed that I was supposed to be the exception. It helped that I was a women of color myself, and that I apparently have good taste in women for a straight gal. But it seemed that it was okay so long as only one person posted women of color but now it was too much and a boner kill. Thankfully other posters argued back that if these posters wanted to see women that matched their preferences all they had to do was post what they liked. And that the thread wasn't made only to cater to their tastes. Everyone went back to posting what they wanted until a new member decided to create a post with only Black women. And that's when one of the posters with "preferences" suggested that there should be a separate thread for women of color. This idea was backed up by other posters, some of which dropped the "preferences" rhetoric and flat out stated that they were exclusively attracted to White women. As the arguments wore on I found out that the only reason why there was a separate thread for Asian woman was because this had happened before. There were some posters with a preference(some did have a fetish though) for Asian women. So they would post Asian women in the tread. The culture of the message board was a little different back then so by popular vote a thread just for Asian women was made. Once again, thankfully other posters spoke up. The thread was for hot women. The title of the thread only spoke of hot women. It did not specify that those women had to only be White. So the posters with "preferences" were told to make their own hot White women thread if they wanted. They never did, so the topic was dropped.
 

SonOfVoorhees

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I would think most people are more attracted to people of the same color or culture as themselves. But I also feel most of those people mix with many different colors and culture and thus meet different men/woman to date. If the most important part of a partner is to have the same skin color as you, then fine, nothing wrong with that. But others like characteristics such as being kind or having a sense of humor etc. An I think those people are open to anyone as its the sense of humor that is the attracting factor. But i think you cant say that a person that wont date someone thats a different color or culture from themselves is ignorant or racist is stupid. No one can control what they find attractive. Same way that a person who isnt attractive to fat people cant be insulted because of it. End of the day we are all free to find the person we want and i would prefer the woman i dated to love me for me.
 

ThatOtherGirl

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To directly answer the question, I would say the answer is no unless it is yes. I know that sounds stupid, but let me explain.

It really is a case to case basis. You could make the argument that preferring black or white in a partner is racist, but you might as well claim that people who like black hair are hairists and people who want to date someone about their height are sizist. People can prefer certain aesthetics without it being motivated by bigotry. In most cases I would say a preference for a certain race is going to be like a persons preference for hair color.

However, there are going to be people who don't want to date a race for racist reasons.

So it would not make me think less of a person that expressed a preference for or an aversion to a certain race (in terms of physical attractiveness) unless they also engage in overt racist behavior, in which case my opinion of them is already low so it really doesn't matter.

Edit: As for the poll, I put "I don't care" because I am into women I think are hot. However, I have noticed a preference towards Multiracial women. And I don't mean specifically half white/half black, I mean any race plus any other race. I think it is because I find them interesting as the less usual case (Multiracial individuals usually have rare combinations of physical characteristics) and interesting is sexy.
 

Secondhand Revenant

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First guess would be racism. Why would they feel the need to say they find no members of said race attractive? Just a bit... unlikely. I'm likely to find people with certain features that are more common in some ethnic backgrounds over others but I don't categorically say I don't ever find people of a certain race unattractive or attractive. What pushes someone from individual case by cas to categorical denial, wondering what does that is what causes me to be suspicious of it