Poll: Do you forgive and move on or dwell?
- Thread starter Bamba
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It actually does.Bamba said:
End of 2011, my girlfriend ended the best relationship I've ever had - the happiest I've ever been - by trying to kill herself over her ex-boyfriend's new relationship.
I couldn't get over it all this time. I was always angry and bitter, and a little vengeful. It just ate at me for so long, I even left the country for six weeks to try to get over it.
Earlier this year she apologized... I told her exactly how she made me feel and I got my apology. Now we're actually working as friends again, and all those bad feelings are just gone.
Most things don't piss me off or annoy me, so I just instantly move on and ignore it. Bah Humbug so far as I'm concerned.
If you do manage to piss me off though, run. Not only will I not forgive you for at least the rest of the day, but your life is probably in danger as you have done something probably physically harmful to me, or my friends, and as such have incurred my wrath, which will include a lot of pain for you if you stick around.
Give me time to calm down from that though and the most you'll have to wait is a week or so before I forgive you. Too much stress and energy in holding a grudge. There are few things that would have me actually maintain a grudge for longer than a week, and generally they are things were the grudge will only be ended once you are dead. Fair recompense for what you'd have to do to get me to that stage, and a place where thankfully no-one has ever reached.
If you do manage to piss me off though, run. Not only will I not forgive you for at least the rest of the day, but your life is probably in danger as you have done something probably physically harmful to me, or my friends, and as such have incurred my wrath, which will include a lot of pain for you if you stick around.
Give me time to calm down from that though and the most you'll have to wait is a week or so before I forgive you. Too much stress and energy in holding a grudge. There are few things that would have me actually maintain a grudge for longer than a week, and generally they are things were the grudge will only be ended once you are dead. Fair recompense for what you'd have to do to get me to that stage, and a place where thankfully no-one has ever reached.
None of those options. I'm not a person who gets easily offended or hurt, but if I do, I don't forgive easily. Mostly I just choose to forget rather than forgive and move on. It's easier, and dwelling on it just seems like a waste of brainpower.
Exactly. There are other, more important things to do in life than holding a grudge.Angie7F said:
I tend to ignore people who attempt to piss me off. I don't forgive others that easily, unless what you did was honestly a mistake on your part. I don't require a apology, all I need from you is to become a good/better person and that's it.
Unfortunately, I have this utterly unpleasant annoying **** in my class who complaints a lot and insults others rather aggressively. I loathe her and after what she said to my friends and myself, I will never forgive her. Usually I will be able to hold a grudge for a moment and forget about it all together later, but for her case, that's impossible. She's fortunate I haven't lost control of my anger in class.
Unfortunately, I have this utterly unpleasant annoying **** in my class who complaints a lot and insults others rather aggressively. I loathe her and after what she said to my friends and myself, I will never forgive her. Usually I will be able to hold a grudge for a moment and forget about it all together later, but for her case, that's impossible. She's fortunate I haven't lost control of my anger in class.
I may eventually forgive someone if it's not something major, but I still never forget what they did to me. I still to this day will not speak to a family member of mine because she lied about certain things & started a lot of bullshit drama just to get her way, this happened about 12 years ago.
It all depends on the person, the degree to which I've been wronged and if I've been wrong multiple times by said person. For the most part I forgive and move on. Really there's only one person who I'm really holding a grudge against and let's just say karma is really kicking his manipulative ass.
Maaaan thats a hard question. And it depends on so many factors. Are we, good, friends? What did he/she do? all that.
Usually ill forgive you and move on. Or in time just don't give a fuck anymore.
Usually ill forgive you and move on. Or in time just don't give a fuck anymore.
Forgave the girl who accused me of rape after her boyfriend found out about us and she actually came over this afternoon and hung out with my girlfriend and I.
However on that note my sister and mother have done things far worse than her and as such shall receive no trace of forgiveness
However on that note my sister and mother have done things far worse than her and as such shall receive no trace of forgiveness
I tend to forgive people, if it's apparent they didn't mean to hurt me. But a holdover from my years grappling with depression (while it is mostly dealt with) is things said about me are liable to stick in my head for the rest of the day, and really bother me.
Exactly. People have the right to be able to break cleanly from a relationship at any point, unless there's children involved. They'd still have the right to leave, but they can't just abandon the children. Gotta pull your weight there.Candidus said:
Some people's responses on relationships in this thread are a little sad.
If it were cheating, or something like that, I'd understand. Though when I was cheated on last year, I wasn't angry, just disappointed and sad.
The closest I came to anger was when (after breaking up with me) she said she didn't know the guy at all. I later found out she was able find him and start dating him. She was then dumped by him, shortly afterwards which was a little amusing.
there had better be an apology somewhere, other wise i hold a grudge against them, and avoid them as much as possible
If it's something small then fine, I could walk away and forget about it, but if it's something as bad as having caused me, my family, or my friends physical or financial harm solely for their own benefit, then I'd hunt them down and do everything in my power to make their lives a nightmare until they would never dream of doing it again.
Depends on their 'offence'; short stint of bullying? I can forgive that. Don't pay me back ~$1300 after a year and tell people you offered to pay me back and I refused? Sure, it's a pain in the ass, but it's not like you were trying to hurt me. Crush me, paint me as the villain and themselves as the 'tragic martyr'? Nope, no amount of apologies could fix that, even on a deathbed.Bamba said:
Nope, not bitter at all.