Poll: Do you think spanking is wrong?

[stridernfs]

I don't believe it's "wrong", but I do believe there are better ways with dealing with a child.

When you spank them, you teach them to be fearful of the pain, and they won't misbehave because of that fear. They do not really learn why what they did is wrong though, and can end up being more of a problem later on.

If you sit them down and tell them why what they did is wrong, you not only show them more respect, (something they'll appreciate), you'll instil good values in them, and they won't misbehave because they know it's wrong.

whoops left this out

 

[The Austin]

Yeah, it's wrong. It's child abuse. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that a community as "evolved" as The Escapist isn't up to par on this issue.

 

[Dango]

No, it's not "wrong" but there are always better ways to solve things than violence.

 

[Googooguru]

i got Spanked as a kid by both parents and teachers and im a Normal member of society. Discipline is an important part of Maintaining social order.. if you do X then Y will happen (Y being an undesirable effect)

Also spanked my own son as a child. as far as i can remember i spanked him 3 times his whole life..he is 18 now and suprisingly he is one of the nicest, most balanced people i know.. way nicer person than me must take after his mom more

You dont hit your Child for everything people, only if its a biggie and you explain before you spank him that
A) what he has done wrong and why it was wrong,
b) that actions have consequences
c) that people need to treat each other with respect and understanding ..blah blah..

get agreement from child that he was in the wrong... Give 2 Spanks.. wait 5 Minutes.. Give Love and tuck into bed .. repeat in another 2 years as necessary..

That way my son knew that if he was getting a spank this was a big deal and it really helped to curb some small behavioural issues. Is he a better person for it ..I dont know.. maybe im just an awesome Parent.. XD

 

[stridernfs]

I believe its not necessary, but, desperate measures you know...i would physically punish my children if they misbehave, i would give them chances of course, repeated offense=the cane. When i was being brought up, the cane was the primary form of discipline. Teachers and parents use them extensively.

And yes OP, where i live now, its illegal to smack children here. There have been cases of this law being abused though. 1 that i remember particularly involved the mother being brought to court for punishing her child. Who tipped the coppers off????? Her beloved son of course.....

Then apparently her son (despite all the odds) had learned his lesson about how a civilized society works. If people hit other people then you can call the cops and they will arrest he people who use violence against others and put them through trial. Kudos to the kid.

If our society finds physical violence to be unacceptable unless it's being used as self-defense, then why the hell do some parents find it fit to teach their children that it's okay to use violence in order to "teach people some manners" or some similar silly reason?

NEWSFLASH! It's NOT okay to use violence to teach anyone manners. We even have laws against it, and people get sent to jail for breaking these laws every day.

Why should parents be exempt from such laws? They're people just as everyone else. As are their children.

There are plenty of other things to do to get through to a kid that misbehaves than violence. Violence is a desperate measure, and if someone can't find a better solution than acting out of desperation then they shouldn't have kids at all...

It's not violence, it is punishing them, as long as the parent establishes that because he or she is the parent he or she has the right to punish them then the kid will eventually figure out that it is different with his parents then with other people. Teenagers on the other hand are a completely different matter, the only thing you can do is try to direct them the right way and hope by god they find it.

 

[Thaius]

It needs to be used carefully.

I definitely don't think you should spank your child every time they take a step out of line, but the fact is that sometimes words and reasoning doesn't get through to children. Sometimes physical punishment is the only thing that can get through to them. Only then should it be used, and in those situations there is nothing wrong with it.

 

[Darkman94]

The process of hitting a child in response to a negative behavior, is a form of: "Operant Conditioning" (to be specific: Positive punishment). This is a proven form of behavior modification, found to very effective. It's similar to a rat to finding its way through a maze, when rewarded with cheese at the end, and therefore should be used on children for similar effects.

To read more:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning

Source: Behavior Psychology

 

[Enzeru92]

I think that spanking is fine as long as its justifiable and not for little things

 

[Sethzard]

I think that it is more likely to lead to other issues than have any positive effects

 

[stridernfs]

except for rowdy two year olds, if they are good, great! if not then not so great. it mostly depends on the child itself and whether or not it is acting bad

N, it's not "wrong" but there are always better ways to solve things than violence.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

Children are too young to understand intelligent reasoning, or why what they are doing might be wrong. First they need to understand that it is wrong. I wouldn't say go all out on them, but banning parents from disciplining their child, I believe, is one of the reasons children are so twatty recently (isn't it weird how the really shitty children arriving in my school coincide with the time the government made smacking an offence, when they were in their formative years?).

Yes, I got a smack when I was being a little shit. It taught me when not to be a little shit. I turned out brilliantly. Burning flesh.

I'm not sure if it contributed, but I have depression, so... Yeah.

I very much doubt that has anything to do with it. There can be any number of reasons for depression, including natural chemical imbalance not caused by external factors.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

I got spanked on the ass a few times, i didn't misbehave in school or at home because I didnt want to get spanked again. A red mark which hurts for 10 seconds never has and never will hurt anyone.

If teachers could do it then western society wouldn't be quickly be taking a one way ride on the turd shoot

Because society and education were so awesome before. We had cool things like 25 percent unemployment and segregation. Oh wait, nevermind. Okay, we had the Vietnam War... Damn, that was bad too. Hippies? Fuck it, this is hopeless.

Spanking on it's own isn't bad, but there's so much potential for abuse and misuse. You can really fuck your kids up if you do it wrong.

 

[Stoic raptor]

Only if they wouldnt respond to any other form of discipline. Like timeouts, sending to room, taking away favorite things for a day. Although the spanking probably wouldnt work if the other punishments didnt work

 

[stridernfs]

those of you who were spanked think back to your earliest childhood before junior high or elementary school, what do you remember the most? pain, you won't remember talks making you understand why something is bad( although stern voices work well too as well as clapping hands to gain their attention), you'll feel the aftereffects of the spanking even years after becoming a better person.

 

[evilartist]

Spanking is sometimes necessary. Children can get pretty wild at times.

I don't believe it's "wrong", but I do believe there are better ways with dealing with a child.

When you spank them, you teach them to be fearful of the pain, and they won't misbehave because of that fear. They do not really learn why what they did is wrong though, and can end up being more of a problem later on.

If you sit them down and tell them why what they did is wrong, you not only show them more respect, (something they'll appreciate), you'll instil good values in them, and they won't misbehave because they know it's wrong.

Parents should obviously give their children a warning if it's their first time making said mistake. After that, it's fair game.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Children are too young to understand intelligent reasoning. I wouldn't say go all out on them, but banning parents from disciplining their child, I believe, is one of the reasons children are so twatty recently (isn't it weird how the really shitty children arriving in my school coincide with the time the government made smacking an offence?).

Yes, I got a smack when I was being a little shit. It taught me when not to be a little shit. I turned out brilliantly. Burning flesh.

I'm not sure if it contributed, but I have depression, so... Yeah.

I very much doubt that has anything to do with it. There can be any number of reasons for depression, including natural chemical imbalance not caused by external factors.

Pretty much this. Little children have little to no actual understanding of abstract concepts that are associated with reasoning. They need concrete evidence that doing something wrong will not be tolerated, that evidence being a whupping.

 

[WolfThomas]

I honestly don't know, my parents spanked me but only when I was really naughty and I guess that worked kind of. However I can remember my grandmother hitting me when she wrongfully accused me of breaking something and I got so angry I threatened to hit her...to death, that kind of soured the relationship for a long time (it's okay now she gets to show me off to all her friends as her grandson who is going to be a doctor).

Also I'm getting worried that as I get older (21 now) that I don't care about the stuff that affects children and teenagers anymore (like proposed alcohol restrictions, prolonged driving probation etc) because it won't affect me. So I don't know if it's fair that as an adult I can say spanking is fine, when I would have (and did) hated it when I was younger.

 

[Loop Stricken]

If they're being a little shit, slap the bastard; but there's a difference between a twat around the head and beating seven bells out of the squirt, true enough.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

It's not violence, it is punishing them, as long as the parent establishes that because he or she is the parent he or she has the right to punish them then the kid will eventually figure out that it is different with his parents then with other people. Teenagers on the other hand are a completely different matter, the only thing you can do is try to direct them the right way and hope by god they find it.

Yes IT IS VIOLENCE. "Punishment" might be the motivation for the violence, but it's violence nontheless. And in these society which we live in violence IS NOT OKAY to use UNLESS it is in self defense. Get it?

"Punishment" doesn't cut it as a viable reason.

If you went up to me in a bar and poured a pint of beer over my head, that would be unacceptable behaviour on your part. But you can be damn sure that if the cops find out that I punched you in the face for pouring a beverage over my head, do you really think they would listen if I just told them that I was "punishing" you to "teach you some manners"?

Sorry, but that defense wouldn't fly in any court where it is illegal to use violence against other people for other reasons than self defense.

Also, physical force doesn't teach children not to misbehave. It just teaches them to be more cautious about their parents finding out when they do misbehave. This in turn does present an increased statistic that the child will most likely misbheave again, but will also learn how to get away wih it scot free because he or she learned the first time what happens when mom or dad found out about his/her behaviour.

you need to teach the kid WHY it is unacceptable to misbheave in the manner that the child did it. The coin simply has to drop at some point or another.

If you can't get through to your kid like that then you aren't parenting material and incompetent by default.

 

[Njoi Fontes]

Spanking a child is necessary but only very lightly and when they are at a very young age in which they still sit down and listen seriously to you explaining why her or she should not do what he or she has done wrong. When they are old enough to properly understand you( somewhere between 11 and 14) then you should not hit them and should instead talk to them. Anyone that said that you should never hit children does not know what he or she is talking about. I have enough ridiculously spoiled little cousins to know what happens when you never hit a child. What happens is they have absolutely no respect for you.

I´m not saying always hit a small child for the smallest thing, hitting should always be a last resort and done only hardly enough for the child to take you seriously and only after the child has constantly ignored you told him or her to do or stop doing.