Nice use of absolutes there. I'm sure you'll be a fine parent.[/sarcasm]derdeutschmachine said:
Poll: Do you think spanking is wrong?
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It's not a good way to bring a child up. Proof being more then half the junoir deliquints at my school were apparently spanked when they were kids. And by junior delinquints I mean chavs.
<color=purple> I think of it as "unneeded". Although in the bedroom....that's another story. ;D
I think spanking is a bad form of punishment. It doesn't really teach them anything, it's crude, and it sure as hell shouldn't be used to get the kid to "respect" you. "I'm bigger and can whoop your ass" is not respect worthy. Also, teaching kids to solve problems with violence is a rather dangerous thing to do. Finally, if you have to resort to spanking as a parent you are extremely lacking in creativity and intelligence. There are far more constructive ways of punishing a child that actually teach a lesson of why something is bad beyond "you do bad me make you hurt". My parents could whip up punishments much scarier and more likely to make you think twice than physical pain. If you have to resort to violence you don't have control of your kids, and what happens if they become "immune" to spanking? Going to hit them harder, maybe with a weapon? What if they get bigger than you and you can't hold them down anymore? What if your child decides "Hm, my parents hit me when I upset them, I should hit children at school when they upset me!".
You don't need to spank a kid to get them to do anything! Least of all respect anyone, that would be fear an entirely different thing. I was never spanked and (apparently) I am one of the most elder respecting people of my age group. Which is 13-16 by the way. The worst I ever got was a good ol' finger wagging and being banned from TV and videogames, which happend rarely. Violence does nothing but cause more violence.derdeutschmachine said:
Funny, I don't recall saying anything about fear. I most certainly don't think ones child should fear them (though it is only natural for people, including children, to have a fear of consequences which is exactly why I wear my seatbelt while driving a car, or use a condom when having sex with my girlfriend, or, as a child, set the table before dinner[footnote]I was never smacked for not doing chores, but if I didn't set the table I wouldn't be given dinner[/footnote]), I also never said it was a good idea to strike a child in anger. You're reading way beyond what I've said and misunderstanding the concept of a "smack".Housebroken Lunatic said:
Children, especially young children, do not necessarily have the communication skills to understand why their parents are telling them what to do. A smack to the bottom (not a full forced whack, a light, sharp smack) demonstrates to them that they are in trouble and that you are serious. You don't need to hurt them, I never said you should hurt them. I said that it was often beneficial to spank a child and it's absolutely stupid to claim that it's always the wrong way to raise a child (especially given how many parents employed this technique and have raised respectful, hardworking, law abiding members of society) and even more stupid to try and claim it's child abuse.
Oh, well that clears that up. Because one person was raised in their unique circumstances in a manner that meant they were never spanked, it is therefore possible for all children to be equally reasonable. How convenient it is that all children are apparently as well behaved and reasonable as you were and that they rarely even need to be punished at all. That's fantastic, it means that parents don't actually need to be parents, and they can spend their time being best friends with their children, which is far easier and much more fun. Thanks for clearing that up.Fallen-Angel Risen-Demon said:
spanking leds to nothing, usually most childreen , just start hating theyr parents and do things even worse, a healthy relationship btw parents and theyr son/daughters, is communication, talk to em, spendtime to em, listen to em, some childreen dont like that
and if u been neglecting ur child for like a year or more, and the only action u take, is spankin em when they do something wrong. then no, talking wont do a thing (cuz the child usually alredy is starting to hold grudges agaist the parents), but spanking wont either, and from manny cases i know they just repress , get mad at theyr parents, keep doing stuff wrong and they take theyr revenge on theyr class mates, so yeah.. <.<
and if u been neglecting ur child for like a year or more, and the only action u take, is spankin em when they do something wrong. then no, talking wont do a thing (cuz the child usually alredy is starting to hold grudges agaist the parents), but spanking wont either, and from manny cases i know they just repress , get mad at theyr parents, keep doing stuff wrong and they take theyr revenge on theyr class mates, so yeah.. <.<
sometimes its a lesson that needs to be learned, the child can get out of control and realizes they can walk all over you and get out of anything by just simply doing what they want, now im not a parent yet, but ive babysat my 4 very younger brothers for years and my baby cousins (and i've gotten permission on this) that sometimes it comes to a good spank because they simply do not care to listen and try to do very bad things intentionally knowing its going to mess things up for other people (not just myself)
it was done to me as a kid, and believe me, now that im older and a bit more wiser, i realize what i was doing was wronnggggg and dammit i deserved getting my ass beat to raw meat a few times, i was beyond hyper and crazy, and now a days im quite possibly the best damn thing to come out of my neighborhood and my parents were the only ones with the balls to spank me unlike other parents.
sometimes it is a needed lesson that must be taught at some point, and sometimes if the line is crossed then it should be a reminder, but beyond that then no never, if i am angry i make sure to remove myself from any situation and cool off from it.
its just like being grown up, you break the law, you get sent to jail (time out), if you dont stay in time out or dont go there, then you better believe you are gonna be brought down by a beating/taser/shot/tear gas/etc...
it was done to me as a kid, and believe me, now that im older and a bit more wiser, i realize what i was doing was wronnggggg and dammit i deserved getting my ass beat to raw meat a few times, i was beyond hyper and crazy, and now a days im quite possibly the best damn thing to come out of my neighborhood and my parents were the only ones with the balls to spank me unlike other parents.
sometimes it is a needed lesson that must be taught at some point, and sometimes if the line is crossed then it should be a reminder, but beyond that then no never, if i am angry i make sure to remove myself from any situation and cool off from it.
its just like being grown up, you break the law, you get sent to jail (time out), if you dont stay in time out or dont go there, then you better believe you are gonna be brought down by a beating/taser/shot/tear gas/etc...
"Respectful, hardworking, law abiding members of sociey"... Yeah right. That's about as believable as all he people in this thread who all feel that they "turned out ok in the end". Of course that's what they are going to say (regardless of the truth of things), anything else would be an admission of something being wrong with themselves.Dys said:
But I'll play along wih your argument for awhile. Tell me, if it's just a "light smack to the bottom" that doesn't hurt or injure, you mean to tell me that it's no really about inflicting pain?
Because if that's what you're saying, you will inevitably have to concede to the fact that you yourself believe that children can respond to other types of communication than the infliction of pain. Naturally this begs the question that if it isn't about inflicting pain, then why couldn't you use a less barbaric and civlized way of communicating your idea to the child?
However, if it IS about inflicting pain, hen how is that any more right than any other form of torture?
Trust me, I know plenty of ways to hurt you in ways you will find excruciating, but won't really cause you much in the way of physical injury (I won't even have to leave a mark on your body). Are you saying that I shouldn't be arrested and tried for assault if I used these methods on you with the intenion of "teaching you some manners"?
Take waterboarding for instance (a technique considered by many counries across the world to be a form of torture and thus banned). You're not going to die by being subjected to waterboarding. You're not even going to have any permanent marks on your body or suffer any oher kind of disabiliy as a result of physical injury, since waterboarding doesn't really cause any physical injuries.
Does that make it right and proper to use when teaching random strangers "some manners"? And if not, why would you teach that lesson to a child that it is okay to use violence (as long as it doesn't cause physical injuries) against people? Because that's exactly what the child is being taught. The child is being taught that tolerating certain forms of violence with the specific intention of degrading, humiliating and cause people pain and physical discomfort is yay-okay.
So which is it? Is it about causing pain or not? Eiher way, your argument contains a shitload of flaws.
I don't really care what you're going to try and argue in your attempt to refue this. It's obvious that you somehow believe that spanking is some kind of "magical solution" that will ALWAYS instill the EXACT meaning that the parent might want to instill in the child.
Realistically speaking however, that is far from the truth...
It was just outlawed in this country, and I'm against it too.
I mean, the children are probably just going to start disliking their parents for it. Also it's inhumane.
I mean, the children are probably just going to start disliking their parents for it. Also it's inhumane.
Depends do you mean sexually or as a disciplinary tool?
OT: It doesn't seem to work very well these days. Spanking is associated with the "fear" path to respect, a path that was very effective but in today's modern world with its anti-child abuse suits and looser parents, it is no longer quite as effective. This is mainly due to the fact that spanking has already become looked down upon. In the past, if a child told his friend he got spanked as a punishment, sympathy would be offered but little else, as it was a common parenting tool. Nowadays, if a child told his friend he got spanked as a punishment, his friend would likely tell him to contact someone about it being "child abuse" or say that spanking is wrong. This difference causes a shift from the view of spanking from one of a fair punishment to one of abuse, which can have negative effects on a child's relation with his parents and the child's sociability.
In short, spanking was a very effective parenting tool, but people have screwed it up through overreacting child abuse (not trying to downplay child abuse of course).
OT: It doesn't seem to work very well these days. Spanking is associated with the "fear" path to respect, a path that was very effective but in today's modern world with its anti-child abuse suits and looser parents, it is no longer quite as effective. This is mainly due to the fact that spanking has already become looked down upon. In the past, if a child told his friend he got spanked as a punishment, sympathy would be offered but little else, as it was a common parenting tool. Nowadays, if a child told his friend he got spanked as a punishment, his friend would likely tell him to contact someone about it being "child abuse" or say that spanking is wrong. This difference causes a shift from the view of spanking from one of a fair punishment to one of abuse, which can have negative effects on a child's relation with his parents and the child's sociability.
In short, spanking was a very effective parenting tool, but people have screwed it up through overreacting child abuse (not trying to downplay child abuse of course).
Time outs don't stop a child. They make the child a brat with nothing to fear. What keeps them in that corner? Nothing.
But the pain, though small, but still there... that gives them something to fear, and teaches them a lesson. It teaches them not to do it again, or they receive some more pain.
I do believe spanking is acceptable.
By the way, I'm 13.
But the pain, though small, but still there... that gives them something to fear, and teaches them a lesson. It teaches them not to do it again, or they receive some more pain.
I do believe spanking is acceptable.
By the way, I'm 13.
Like everything else it is fine in moderation. If spanking clearly isn't doing the job then positive punishment clearly isn't getting the job done. Hitting someone harder isn't going to help. People don't understand that for your child to behave the way you want, you need to punish the behaviors don't you want as well as reinforce the behaviors you do want.
Now that is funny because I was spanked and I turned out great. I respect my elders, am always polite, and know how to control my anger. In fact, my spanking has lead to less violence from me.Fallen-Angel Risen-Demon said:
I hated it. Sometimes I've been spanked/hit for a very small reason, So I never felt it taught me a lesson. I knew my parents didn't want me to do whatever I was doing, but I didn't see the reason to be hit.
On another point of view, perhaps a child will connect the hitting with the fact that they're doing something wrong. But I think it shouldn't be done to a kid three years old or younger because they may not understand. And by 12 or 13, they're a little too old for that.
I think a few swats to wherever will tell a kid that they've done wrong, as long as it's not too hard.
On another point of view, perhaps a child will connect the hitting with the fact that they're doing something wrong. But I think it shouldn't be done to a kid three years old or younger because they may not understand. And by 12 or 13, they're a little too old for that.
I think a few swats to wherever will tell a kid that they've done wrong, as long as it's not too hard.
Well, telling them why what they're doing is wrong. Unless the child is an asshole they should stop, in theory.Grathius22 said:
Yeah, but... children are children, and if they don't already know what they are doing is wrong, they'll just do it again. Even if you tell them.katsumoto03 said:
Spanking wouldn't be my first resort, but it certainly wouldn't be my last.
