Poll: Do you want an apology?

[Sectan]

I wasn't bullied in school at all. Having said that I feel like just saying "I'm Sorry" does nothing, but make whoever was in the wrong feel better. Sorry doesn't magically take away the events that occurred. Sorry doesn't heal emotional or physical scars that people carry with them. Sorry doesn't actually DO anything. If you're really sorry, then DO something about it instead of "Sorry. Okay I made it up to you bye!"

 

[loc978]

...I was always the geek with more bite than bark (and more blades than sense... so "other").
A couple of kids who tried to bully me in high school are some of my best friends now that we're all in our 30s. A bunch more are dead (mainly from overdoses or gang violence. Not my doing, I was too busy working to kill people... at least until that was part of my job description). I was never the one to apologize to, since I gave better than I got. A few of my other friends got apologies and are better off for it now, though.

 

[A Weakgeek]

I can't help but notice that already 3 mods have answered in this thread.

Is there something that drives bullied people to become people of authority on the internet?

Nah, must be just a slow day.

 

[Xukog]

Given that the bullying screwed me up to the point I refused to interact with other students,which scewed me over when I moved to another school,and made an ass of myself because I hated everyone to the point I had to be homeschooled....I wouldn't give a damn.I know one of them must be in jail by this point anyway,the idiot had been in juvie several times and was probably 3 or 4 years older then everyone else in the class and still failing.

 

[ninjaRiv]

I had a shitty time in school. It was terrible and it totally fucked me up as a person. I would genuinely boil those people alive and laugh as they scream. I'm kind of not joking. An apology would not do at all. But, despite holding a grudge against those people and anyone who bullies me in adult life I'd much prefer to be a success and rub it in their faces.

Captcha: do it now. I would, captcha, I just don't have a big enough pot.

 

[Nazulu]

Nope. I want them to go through what happened to me so they can find out how fucking useless and apology really is.

Oh no, wait. My bully became a paraplegic from a car crash. Good! You know why I don't care? Because he was the really popular kid that everyone loved, including his parents, so he was just an asshole for the sake of being an asshole. Literally, he was the big athlete from the school that was perfect in everyone's eye's and therefore he could do no wrong. Until he learned that popularity doesn't shield you from being an over-confident shitty driver.

Yes, my heart is still beating. Why do you ask?

 

[anonymity88]

All I want is for eternal suffering for those that bullied me growing up. But the knowledge that most had kids before the age of 18 and a couple went to prison whilst the rest are working dead end jobs is enough for me. They were petty back then, I grew into it.

 

[Vanorae]

I've really forgiven them already. There's usually a reason for bullies to bully. Most of the time they're just a mess of emotional issues and I actually kind of pity them. I hope they are in a better place now.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I wouldn't care. I got bullied brutally for being both the poorest kid in school and the only white kid in school, even had to transfer schools, but I got over it.
Not saying that everybody else should or even can get over it, just saying that thats what personally happened to me.

I got big, I got mean, people stopped messing with me, I ended up befriending some people that were in the Bloods and people really stopped messing with me. The I stopped caring and got on with my life. If one of my old bullies were to come up to me and apologize I'd tell them "Doesn't matter" and walk away. Which is something that I've already done actually.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I've really forgiven them already. There's usually a reason for bullies to bully. Most of the time they're just a mess of emotional issues and I actually kind of pity them. I hope they are in a better place now.

And this is very nice of you. I rarely ever see something like that from anybody. Kudos.

 

[songnar]

I've had a few apologies.

It doesn't really heal anything. It doesn't change what happened.

In short, no, I don't want an apology. I'd rather just not see 'em again.

 

[Mr.Squishy]

Have met people who used to bully me after growing up, got apology, talked it out. I think that did both me and them good.

 

[snappydog]

A sincere apology is... something, if it shows that they've learned something and become a better person than they used to be. With any luck it means that they'll try to teach their children not to do what they did.
On the other hand, most of the people who did most of the emotional damage to me in my youth probably didn't know they were doing it, so an apology would be kind of moot on the grounds that I suspect they had and still have no clue what they were doing.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

I've really forgiven them already. There's usually a reason for bullies to bully. Most of the time they're just a mess of emotional issues and I actually kind of pity them. I hope they are in a better place now.

This is basically how I feel.

It was very humbling to receive an apology from someone just after I finished school, though.

It was nice to see that he had started paying attention to his conscience.

I wouldn't say that I require apologies from anyone who has wronged me in the past, though; the past is the past.

There's nothing I can do or say to change that now. All I can do is learn from the experiences and put any leftover negative emotions behind me.

 

[IndomitableSam]

Speaking as Sam's sister, and not her, although I know she feels the same way.

We were bullied terribly throughout our school years. The "I want to kill myself" type of bullying, except we never considered it ourselves. But we did miss a lot of school and even some graduation events because of it. Ah, to grow up fat and ugly. Funny we turned out so good once we hit our 20s.

Would we accept an apology from those people? No.

Never. I see those people on occasion, and I tolerate them, but if something happened to them we'd be the first to grab the champagne and dance on their graves.

We're strong, independent people now because we had to face such things, but we'll never forgive nor forget. I thank them for making us strong and successful in life, but beyond that I wish every horrible thing that could possibly happen to them would happen to them.

This coming from someone who turns 30 in two months.

To be so seriously bullied, to be physically and emotionally attacked on a daily basis, to have your face shoved in the mud literally and figuratively, it stays with you forever, it may make you strong but it does blacken you, too.

As I've said in the past: To all bullies, I hope all your dreams never come true, every person you love abandons you, every attempt you make in life fails.

 

[Vykrel]

that's pretty insensitive on your part. it sounds like maybe people were simply mean to you in high school, so you clearly don't understand just how far some bullies go.

personally, i've never been bullied, but there are plenty of kids who have been driven to suicide by their bullies. for all you know, the woman who called could have been pretty close.

not everyone has the mental fortitude that you have, either. bullying can result in deep emotional issues. again, for all you know, the woman who called could have been an outgoing person before being bullied. maybe it turned her into an introvert. maybe it made her depressed. not everyone is as tough-skinned as you or i.

but if i had been bullied, i certainly would appreciate an apology. it's not like i would need one, but to be able to forgive someone is a nice thing, and it would be even better to know that person regretted the way they treated others.

 

[Namechangeday]

I'll only accept apologies from people who bullied me if they died early, poor, and in a tragic way. Either that or if they give me $2000 to accept their apology.
On the other hand, I don't really care for apologies cause you can never tell if they really mean it and how much they mean it.

 

[Spitfire]

No, I don't want an apology. I've been bullied, and I've went to quite some extremes to sever all ties with those responsible. While it would be nice to know that they at least developed a conscience and feel remorse for their actions, I don't really care at this point; they're dead to me. Truth be told, I'm less concerned with the actions of some stupid kids way back when, and more concerned with the poor parenting and the indifference of the adults who allowed that to happen in the first place. They are the people who I want to hear from, and I expect a hell of a lot more from them than just some words of regret. I don't want an apology; I want my fucking life back.

 

[A_Parked_Car]

I would certainly want one. One such person actually did apologize to me years later. It felt really good. I was never really angry at them, since I'm an extremely forgiving person.