If handing a monkey a bucket of paint and a canvas produces 'works of art' indistinguishable from those created by 'artists' who sell their 'paintings' for ludicrous sums of money, guess what? It wasn't art to begin with, it was just splattered paint.
See, art isn't subjective - our appreciation for it and whether we personally find it aesthetically pleasing is subjective, but art itself isn't. Art is the application of talent and effort to a medium of expression to create something new. Things don't have to be beautiful to be art, nor do we have to actually like it - garish modern sculptures are hideous, but somebody still had to weld them together which requires talent, thus making them sculptures and therefore art. Your sculpture might look like a random explosion happened in a junkyard, but it's art nonetheless[footnote]If you actually just set off an explosion in a junkyard and label the results 'art', you haven't made any and you're a hack.[/footnote].
Pissing in a jar and suspending a crucifix in it on the other hand is most definitely not a work of art - a monkey can piss in a jar, and the 'artist' didn't create the crucifix or the jar. Painting a jar of piss with a crucifix suspended in it, while still pretty horrible, would actually be art, as that requires the application of talent to the medium of paint to produce the result of a horrible painting of a disgusting jar of piss (with a crucifix in it).
Naturally occurring formations can be beautiful, but they aren't art, because nobody made them. Taking a random jumble of things you didn't make, tossing paint over them and calling it art is not art, because you didn't make those things or change them in a way that creates something new, you've just tossed paint on them (the monkey could have done that). Dismantling your car and using the pieces to weld together a statue of a robot? Hell yes that is art.
Art is not an empty room, or a wall that wax is randomly flung at, or your filthy bed, anymore than art is a used tampon or a soiled handkerchief or a ten-second video loop of somebody jerking off. If you've convinced yourself otherwise, you are a pretentious wanker.