Poll: "Don't look at me when I wear skimpy clothes!"

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Okay, so I was at marching band this morning and this flute player started blowing up at the guy next to her because apparently, he was staring at her a bit too much. The thing was, though, that while everyone else followed dress code and wore a t-shirt and shorts, she decided to wear a side-less shirt and bra underneath with ridiculously short cut-offs.

Obviously, oggling at someone else extensively is disrespectful to them, but when you choose to wear revealing clothing, what exactly do you expect from people? I mean, if a guy walked around with his shirt off all day, it'd be because he wants women (and not just women he specifically likes) to notice his body; why is the opposite true for so many women?

To be fair, the staring guy has a reputation for being a huge creep, but if he'd been a regular stranger who was discrete about it and it's clear the girl is trying to show off as much skin as possible, is he allowed to oggle or no? Why or why not?

Oh, and yay for politically incorrect gender stereotyping!

EDIT: Upon hearing everyone's responses, I think I've found a system of judgement that'll make everyone happy. :3

Spoiler: Acceptable

Spoiler: Rude

Spoiler: Holy shit, call the cops

 

[FireAza]

I'm sure she wouldn't have had a problem if it was a good-looking guy doing the staring instead of the creepy guy. "if a good-looking guy compliments a girl, she's flattered, if an ugly guy does the same thing, he's a creep" basically. Rock on hypocrisy, you crazy bastard.

 

[Maxtro]

Women who show a lot of skin want to be looked at.

No that's not the same thing as them wanting to be harassed.

Men are very visual, it's almost impossible for us to not stare.

 

[Twilight_guy]

It's not nice to stare and "she was wearing reveling cloths" is about as good of a defense for starring as it is for rape. You can control your own behavior even if someone is egging you on.

 

[Cheesus333]

I tend to make a habit of focusing on the eyes of the scantily-clad women I encounter. But that's only cause I want to be polite and respectful (and also cause I have a thing for eyes, but don't tell them), not because I'm obliged to do so. The day someone tells me where I can and cannot look is the day they can bend over backwards and shove their head up their arse.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Maybe she's just really poor? Shit, I don't know. If she dressed that way it was either out of necessity or, choice. If it was necessity than she's poor as hell. If she's dressing like that out of choice than she wanted to be looked at but just not by that particular person.

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

People can do whatever they hell they like in this regard. If she doesn't like it slap the fucker. Or put some clothes on at least. But if you dress like that it's kind of a given consequence that you'll be stared at

 

[FalloutJack]

This is a message to all the ladies.

If I am looking at you like that, I'm complimenting you. Take the compliment for what it is: an appreciation of beauty.

 

[Instant K4rma]

Don't want people staring at what you've got? Don't show off what you've got. Simple as that.

 

[Olrod]

If you don't want people to stare at you when you're wearing REVEALING clothing, put on several dozen pounds of weight and then the problem will fix itself.

 

[HardkorSB]

Okay, so I was at marching band this morning and this flute player started blowing up at the guy next to her because apparently, he was staring at her a bit too much. The thing was, though, that while everyone else followed dress code and wore a t-shirt and shorts, she decided to wear a side-less shirt and bra underneath with ridiculously short cut-offs.

Obviously, oggling at someone else extensively is disrespectful to them, but when you choose to wear revealing clothing, what exactly do you expect from people? I mean, if a guy walked around with his shirt off all day, it'd be because he wants women (and not just women he specifically likes) to notice his body; why is the opposite true for so many women?

To be fair, the staring guy has a reputation for being a huge creep, but if he'd been a regular stranger who was discrete about it and it's clear the girl is trying to show off as much skin as possible, is he allowed to oggle or no? Why or why not?

Oh, and yay for politically incorrect gender stereotyping!

If someone doesn't want to be looked at by other people, they shouldn't get out of the house.
Even if the girl wasn't dressed skimpy and the guy was still staring at her and was having fantasies about fucking her, so what? Sexual fantasies are a common everyday thing. Not having them would be more worrying.
If she's really that insecure that a guy looking at her is able to cause some kind of mental and/or psychological pressure to her (or are those the same thing? I don't know, I'm too tired to think it through then really she's the one who has a problem that needs to be fixed (if she wants to live among other people), not him.

 

[Blow_Pop]

I hate girls who do shit like that. Oh I'm going to prance around in skimpy clothing and then yell at any guy who stares. If you don't want guys to stare don't walk around half naked. Simple logic.

It's not nice to stare and "she was wearing reveling cloths" is about as good of a defense for starring as it is for rape. You can control your own behavior even if someone is egging you on.

I can kind of agree but at the same time my original point still stands. Me. Personally. If I wear something skimpy I expect to be looked/stared at. Its a compliment. Though usually its jeans and a tshirt for me or a tank top. Depends on how hot it is. And how secure about my body and looks I'm feeling. The more layers I am wearing and the more of me I cover up the more insecure about my looks I am. Though usually I am fairly secure. Women need to get the stick out of their arses that says everything from males should be seen as sexism or insults and learn to take things easier.

 

[ultrachicken]

It's not nice to stare and "she was wearing reveling cloths" is about as good of a defense for starring as it is for rape. You can control your own behavior even if someone is egging you on.

That's an extreme comparison. Rape is a crime where the victim is caused extreme physical and emotional harm, whereas staring, while extremely rude, does nothing of the sort.

I think she had a right to be annoyed, but she should have just politely asked him to stop instead of blowing up the issue and creating a scene. No, he shouldn't have been staring in the first place, but if this girl was expecting less attention from dressing that way then she's probably touched in the head.

 

[spartandude]

She shouldnt have displayed herself, simple as that

if a girl walks round in skimpy cloths i will look, if a hot muscular guy walks around with a shirt off, you can bet she would be staring... and so would i

 

[Rawne1980]

Blokes look, it's what we do.

It doesn't matter if the lass is wearing a bin bag or a bikini, if a man finds her attractive then he's going to look.

We aren't going to rip out our eyeballs just because someone takes offence to being looked at.

 

[Colour Scientist]

We aren't going to rip out our eyeballs just because someone takes offence to being looked at.

There's a difference between being looked at and, as the OP says, someone staring too much. If a girl dresses that way then maybe she does want the attention, maybe just just wants to feel nice. Having people look at you is maybe the desired effect but having some guy stare at you is really unsettling.

It's happened to me and probably most girls, having a guy intensely stare at you (or any part of your body) isn't a nice thing to experience and I think she had every right to tell him where to go.

 

[Vault101]

Women who show a lot of skin want to be looked at.

No that's not the same thing as them wanting to be harassed.

Men are very visual, it's almost impossible for us to not stare.

I dunno..Im not sure I buy the whole "Im a man I cant help it attitude"

then again wearing skimpy cloths isnt always a good Idea depending on the situation

 

[manic_depressive13]

Being a girl, I find it pretty retarded when other girls make complaints along the lines of "OMG that creep was just staring at my boobs, like, the whole time". Of course he was. Your boobs are showing. Hell I'M staring at your boobs.