Poll: Father in rural Germany finds his young son likes to wear dresses; does the same to show solidarity.

[DudeistBelieve]

It raises a lot of interesting questions.

If this happened to you as parent what would you do, would you allow your young sons to start wearing dresses?

Would you endorse it like this father did?

Is it our "duty" as parents to make sure our child knows what society deems as normal and abnormal?

Even if it should be considered normal is it worth making your son stop just to save him from being a social periah where he lives?

Is forcing a conformity to baseless gender roles a lesser evil than letting your son get used to a choice he doesn't yet understand the consequences of?

Im interested escapist, what would you do? A poll is included. Im personally torn. Id love to think id be as open minded as this father. But social pressure is a strong force. I dont know if id have the guts to do this. Mega props to the father though. What a legend. Someone has an iron will to be there for his son. Gotta admire that.

1. If he's hell bent on wanting to wear dresses, who am I to stop him? I can't say I'd wear a dress as well though. Not because I'd be embarrassed for wearing women's clothing, I just don't think I have a suitable body type for them. Cause, hell, if I'm going to wear women's clothing I want to look hot in them damn it.

2. I certainly would have to explain "Double consciousness". It's only fair to him to explain the current lay of the land as it were, and how people will judge him for his decisions. I may also take him to a child psychologist just to be certain he does indeed simply like wearing a dress and not possible transgendered. Not that there is anything wrong with a person being transgendered, but if he is I want to be aware and be able to help him with that.

3, I certainly don't agree with forcing a gender role, but I'd say it's a particularly safe bet to start them out in them and then change according to a child's personality as it develops.

 

[Nemesis729]

Nah, I'd handle this differently. Just like that guy isn't into pseudo intellectual bullcrap about gender roles, I'm not into the whole "You can do anything you want and ignore society" way of life, because it's simply not realistic, and it never will be.

I know a lot of people probably quoted you but I'd like to throw my hat in.

You say that a man dressing as a woman is ignoring society and that isn't realistic, But there are plenty of people who live this lifestyle. People who get sex changes or merely cross-dress are everywhere, and the number keeps growing. To be fair I don't know if this is true for Germany, (I live in the USA) But it's not unheard of for people to live like this.

Plenty of people of live this lifestyle? You mean theres plenty of 6 year olds who walk around in dresses?

Well yes but that's not what I meant. What I meant there are plenty of people who choose to cross-dress, It's not like the kid would be a Social pariah.

 

[Nemesis729]

Nah, I'd handle this differently. Just like that guy isn't into pseudo intellectual bullcrap about gender roles, I'm not into the whole "You can do anything you want and ignore society" way of life, because it's simply not realistic, and it never will be.

I know a lot of people probably quoted you but I'd like to throw my hat in.

You say that a man dressing as a woman is ignoring society and that isn't realistic, But there are plenty of people who live this lifestyle. People who get sex changes or merely cross-dress are everywhere, and the number keeps growing. To be fair I don't know if this is true for Germany, (I live in the USA) But it's not unheard of for people to live like this.

Plenty of people of live this lifestyle? You mean theres plenty of 6 year olds who walk around in dresses?

Well yes but that's not what I meant. What I meant there are plenty of people who choose to cross-dress, It's not like the kid would be a Social pariah.

Actually it is, because I doubt any dress wearing boys visit his school.

Alright man, I guess you're right.

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

Once however, he reaches the legal age of concent (here its 16) he can obviously dress himself by this point, and if he wants to wear a dress he can.

My country's age of consent is 16 too, but what the hell does that have to do with anything? We reach adulthood at 18 - when you get to 16 you can fuck, drink and start motorcycle driving lessons but we're legally considered children. And children still need their parents to give consent to everything except the part about drinking and sexing.

Oh, yeah, I shaved my face today. It's grey, blonde and ginger already, because it grows back. At age 16 you have to go wax, laser or be really late into puberty to not look creepy in a dress.

Okay, so when my hypothetical son becomes 16, I'm not allowed to tell him who to fuck, but I should still tell him how to dress?

Should I break my thoughts down into a list, because I think you're missing my point entirely?

Spoiler: Hypothetical Son is Born

My male son wants to wear female clothes.

How do I feel about this

Not bothered by the fact, but do not want him regretting it later

How do I respond?

by not allowling him to wear said female clothes until an age where he can make his own decisions.

what would a suitable age be?

5? No
10? No Still in Primary School (a hostile enviornment for children who want to be different)
15? Meh
16? a significant birthday. Legal age of consent and in the leaving year of high school.

By that age, the person is set in their beliefs and it is two years away until they are considered an adult.
If the child's facination for wearing female clothes is still there, by all means son, wear a dress.
But looking at this COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION in a REALISTIC light, the facination with wearing female clothes will most likely be over with and long forgotten before they even reach the age of 16, so my decision to ban him from wearing a dress will no longer matter.

Now, please do not reply further as I have had enough of you telling me how to raise a child that I don't have, it's silly, and to be perfectly honest I don't care what you have to say further on this matter.
Have a nice day.

 

[JeffBergGold]

I really hope you reach your goals in the gym and become a better guy than I am. This is a good program to start with if you're serious. Maybe you can revisit my perspective when you grow some shiny strong muscles!

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=998224&page=1

Despite me being slightly insulting and confrontational at least youre rather polite. Legitimately i can kinda see where you are coming from with the idea of "Why SHOULDNT i perfect my body when i work so hard on my mind, why accept that i only get one?" and have been thinking this way for some time. Ill give this a look.

When you get muscles you'll notice that insults bounce right off of you!

 

[Lilani]

In my opinion, yes it is. Quite frankly boys shouldn't wear dresses. At that age he probably doesn't fully understand what he is doing but if he continues those habits he's going to get alot of shit for it.

Now, if he was older and made the decision that he wanted to wear a dress, then fair enough. But I don't think that at this young age he should be wearing one, and I don't think the father should be encouraging it. Because lets face it, trousers aren't that bad and the dress probably isn't worth the shit he'll get if he continues this way.

I don't know if you've ever been around kids, but they get shit for everything. They get shit for enjoying reading, they get shit for not being into the same things as other kids, they get shit for not liking the same foods as other kids. So yeah, he'll probably get shit for wearing a dress, but he'll also probably get shit if he's the only kid in school who eats his vegetables or plays video games.

Personally, I like the lesson his dad is teaching him. Supporting the decisions of those you love. The lesson about how non-conformity will always come back to bite you will also come, but he's bound to learn that at some point in life anyway. I don't see why learning that lesson by wearing a dress is different from, say, learning that lesson by not listening to the same music as the other kids.

 

[Nuttydwarf]

i lad, viva la kilt : D

 

[General Twinkletoes]

The times I've been called arrogant it has always been by an insecure person. If I come across as arrogant I really can't do anything about it. Most people find me of above average confidence though.

Wouldn't you call being scared that an effeminate man will harm your masculinity insecure? You've shown traits of being both insecure and quite arrogant throughout this entire thread.


OT: Awesome dad! I probably wouldn't put on a dress myself, I would feel pretty weird, (I don't feel weird about other people doing it though, to be clear) but I sure as hell wouldn't stop him. I don't get the people saying "He shouldn't do it because it gets him shit" Shouldn't it be the bullies we should be punishing, since this has no negative consequences?

 

[JeffBergGold]

Wouldn't you call being scared that an effeminate man will harm your masculinity insecure?

No.

You've shown traits of being both insecure and quite arrogant throughout this entire thread.

I disagree. However, you will see whatever you want to see.

 

[General Twinkletoes]

Wouldn't you call being scared that an effeminate man will harm your masculinity insecure?

No.

It seems you were insecure enough to think that they were threatening you by being effeminate. That sounds pretty insecure about to me. What else would it be?

 

[JeffBergGold]

It seems you were insecure enough to think that they were threatening you by being effeminate. That sounds pretty insecure about to me. What else would it be?

Being disgusted and revolted are different from being threatened.

 

[General Twinkletoes]

It seems you were insecure enough to think that they were threatening you by being effeminate. That sounds pretty insecure about to me. What else would it be?

Being disgusted and revolted are different from being threatened.

I know it's not a good reason. I just know that male femininity illicits a strong response in me. When I see or am around an effeminate male It feels as if I am being personally attacked.

If that's so, why do you feel like you're being personally attacked? If you feel attacked by them, surely that means you're threatened? What could make you feel as if you're being attacked unless you were insecure about your masculinity?

 

[JeffBergGold]

If that's so, why do you feel like you're being personally attacked?

Because I believe the only reason a guy would be effeminate is to troll me.

If you feel attacked by them, surely that means you're threatened?

I can feel attacked without being threatened. For example if you were to physically attack me I would not feel threatened.

What could make you feel as if you're being attacked unless you were insecure about your masculinity?

I stated why already because I think it's groce. You will get the same response every time you ask that question.

 

[General Twinkletoes]

I can feel attacked without being threatened. For example if you were to physically attack me I would not feel threatened.

There's being proud of being muscular, and then there's just being arrogant for the lulz. You can think you're awesome, but you don't have to lord about how cool and strong you are to everyone else.
Really, effeminate men aren't there to troll you, or to infect you with the virus. You're not that important. They're effeminate because that's the way they are.

Woah. You've gone and opened a can of issues here. I'd run for the hills, man. Shit's gonna get all kinds of Dr. Phil.

It's been fairly tame so far, actually.

 

[Vault101]

If that's so, why do you feel like you're being personally attacked?

Because I believe the only reason a guy would be effeminate is to troll me.

and THAT right there...is kind of fucked up

EDIT: also I think you meant "gross"

 

[JeffBergGold]

There's being proud of being muscular, and then there's just being arrogant for the lulz. You can think you're awesome, but you don't have to lord about how cool and strong you are to everyone else.

I usually don't but this thread, actually this site, makes it so fun to do so.

Really, effeminate men aren't there to troll you, or to infect you with the virus. You're not that important. They're effeminate because that's the way they are.

You're probably right.

 

[Vault101]

Woah. You've gone and opened a can of issues here. I'd run for the hills, man. Shit's gonna get all kinds of Dr. Phil.

do you think steriods can affect reasoning ability?

 

[JeffBergGold]

do you think steriods can affect reasoning ability?

That is not very nice.