Jesus, you want me to remember my first kill? I can't even remember how old I was! I must've been about six, playing MW2. Outside the training mission's target drones, I think my first kill was a firefly or kitfox or something.
First kiss? I'm eighteen, and never learned how to kiss during any of those years. not even family-peck-on-the-cheek thing. Hell, I don't even feel comfortable with the physical contact of a handshake, and I'm way to uptight to attract any women.
To put it into the Anansi Boys (by Niel Gaiman) terms: I got too much Fat Charlie and too little Spider.