Poll: Folks, please stop lying...

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shitoutonme

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May 26, 2011
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About physical attraction not being important when it comes to romantic relationships. Please, just stop. When you're dating uber-ugly, obese, and deformed Betty or Jack, then, I'll listen. Otherwise, it's rubbish, and you know it. I know you don't want people to think you're shallow and all, and I know you value other qualities of a person more than looks. But don't sit here and lie to yourself, and others, about it being a non-issue.

Now, I'm not saying physical attraction is the most important factor in finding a mate, but it is a key one and, more often than not, usually the very first factor to make an impression. If that's not true, humans have magically evolved while I was taking a nap, and now, I have to throw out every piece of knowledge I had about people and start from scratch.
 

-Samurai-

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Oct 8, 2009
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I agree. I can't stand it when those threads pop up about wether or not looks are important, and the poll always has the "I value their personality more than their looks" option as the leading choice.

Personally, if I can't look at you, I can't date you. And if I can't look at you, I sure as hell can't have sex with you, and sex is the entire point of a relationship.
[small]I can't wait to see how many times I get quoted for that. But I feel like if you don't know what I'm talking about, I shouldn't waste my time explaining it, because you'll just disagree.[/small]
 

AroLombardi

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Apr 16, 2009
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Well, I'm not that big on looks, but I do have standards. Personality is my first thing I look at, and as long as they aren't completely unattractive to me, then personality will probably be all that matters to me.
 

Cheezeypoofs

Professional Brony
Dec 19, 2010
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I'm attracted to a girl I haven't seen in nearly 10 years, and I only have a vague idea of what she looks like. Personality is the most important thing to me. That being said, I' not in a relationship with her...
 

Flutterguy

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Jun 26, 2011
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I have never lied about this, of course I would take a relationship with a really hot chick and be able to ignore some of her flaws. The physical portion of a relationship is of course a factor for all relationship, but not everyone will hold that to be in the highest of regard.
 

DeadlyYellow

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Jun 18, 2008
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Of course it's important. People tend to deny it because they feel the phrase is more indicative of the media standard then their own personal taste, and they do not wish to come off as shallow.

Put simply: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
 

Scoffy89

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Jan 12, 2011
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Physical attraction always comes first. Yes many people, including myself value personality but if you're not physically attracted to someone would you bother finding out what their personality is like. However, there can be some circumstances but for the majority of us physical attraction comes first.
 

Dys

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Sep 10, 2008
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-Samurai- said:
I agree. I can't stand it when those threads pop up about wether or not looks are important, and the poll always has the "I value their personality more than their looks" option as the leading choice.

Personally, if I can't look at you, I can't date you. And if I can't look at you, I sure as hell can't have sex with you, and sex is the entire point of a relationship.
[small]I can't wait to see how many times I get quoted for that. But I feel like if you don't know what I'm talking about, I shouldn't waste my time explaining it, because you'll just disagree.[/small]
How many people were you expecting to quote in agreement?

Basically, yes. Anyone who thinks that sex and physical attraction are not fundamentally important in any meaningful relationship quite simply have never been in any meaningful relationship.
 

OmniscientOstrich

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Jan 6, 2011
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You say that, but don't consider the possibility that however posted that could be rather ugly themselves. Personally, I'm not that hard to please. I'm not saying I'd go for a hunchback of Notre Dame, but as long as their looks don't make me flinch I don't have too much of a problem. I consider myself rather ugly, so I try not to shoot above my league too much or just discard someone buy saying something stupid like 'Oh he/she's a bit fat, it's not happening.' When it's a romantic relationship as you say I could easily spend my time with a 4/5 that I like than a 10 who's an insufferable ****.
 

Erana

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Feb 28, 2008
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aprildog18 said:
Blind people are going to rage against you....if they can read what you typed.
They can play Ocarina of time. Of course they have ways of browsing the internet.

And again, its not just looks that make us attracted to people, but chemical what-nots, including smell.
Even if a guy's drop dead gorgeous and interested in me, if my body's saying, "he doesn't smell like he is an ideal chemical match," its going to get in the way a bit.

Still, for humans, relationships aren't just about sex. Its typically a factor, and being attractive certainly helps in that respect, but the big point of the "looks don't count" thing is that looks have little to do with someone being a partner in aspects other than just the sex.
I do think people take it a little far when they say appearance does not factor in at all, but I'm certainly more interested in a culture where people feel the need to perpetuate that idea than one that worships the contemporary ideal of beauty as an absolute.
 

Macgyvercas

Spice & Wolf Restored!
Feb 19, 2009
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All that matters is that I have to think they are cute.

Nerdiness is a requirement, though (and before you say it's impossible to be good looking and nerdy, I've met plenty of people, male and female, who fit both categories).
 

Signa

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Jul 16, 2008
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-Samurai- said:
[small]I can't wait to see how many times I get quoted for that. But I feel like if you don't know what I'm talking about, I shouldn't waste my time explaining it, because you'll just disagree.[/small]
Alright, I'll be the first to quote you. What exactly did you mean? Is it that sex is part of procreation, or is it that sex is the end-game in most relationships? "End-game" meaning that reaching that point in a healthy relationship is the highest point a couple can share. Your statement came off far more ambiguous than I think you realized.
 

Just_A_Glitch

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Dec 10, 2009
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I've never, ever said that looks aren't important to me when it comes to a relationship, because it isn't true. No, they aren't priority number 1, and I have a very large window when it comes to what I consider attractive, but if I have trouble looking at you, I'm not going to be able to date you, even if we are 100% compatible on every other level. Call me shallow if you must, but that's how I am, and I guarantee that is how most people are.
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
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Well, here's the thing, kiddies. I cringe at some of the shit coming out of people who DON'T have personalities, so all the looks in the world aren't gonna cure that one. Looks are a bonus and desired, that much is true. I would say that some invalidate the argument if they married someone who is not so much to look at. And frankly, this thread insults any of those who do.
 

Zorak the Mantis

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Oct 17, 2007
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Yes, I agree completely. I'll admit when asked to date I've turned away some women based solely on their looks, does it make me shallow? Maybe in the eyes of some, but physical attraction is just part of our nature.