Poll: Folks, please stop lying...

[Mr Thin]

I'd take 'mediocre looks, great personality' over 'great looks, mediocre personality' any day.

I doubt, when people claim to value personality more then looks, that they're claiming they'd date the bearded lady if she was nice enough to talk to.

That said, I look quite mediocre myself, so it's possible my position on this topic is skewed.

 

[spartan231490]

About physical attraction not being important when it comes to romantic relationships. Please, just stop. When you're dating uber-ugly, obese, and deformed Betty or Jack, then, I'll listen. Otherwise, it's rubbish, and you know it. I know you don't want people to think you're shallow and all, and I know you value other qualities of a person more than looks. But don't sit here and lie to yourself, and others, about it being a non-issue.

Now, I'm not saying physical attraction is the most important factor in finding a mate, but it is a key one and, more often than not, usually the very first factor to make an impression. If that's not true, humans have magically evolved while I was taking a nap, and now, I have to throw out every piece of knowledge I had about people and start from scratch.

Agreed. I hate when people say they don't care about looks. Of course you do. It's not the only requirement, but like you said it's important.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

I agree, I could never date someone like that, personality is always a plus if shes attractive!

 

[Elijah Ball]

yeah, but you dont know the personality if you dont notice them. looks are what get you interested, not necessarily what get you to stay.

 

[KrabbiPatty]

I am attracted to women for their bodies. Because anything else would just be me deluding myself. That does not mean I have no emotional investment in the relationship, but I would be lying if I said the fact my girlfriend has superfluously large breast implants (a fetish of mine) has no impact whatsoever, let alone a primary impact, on my attraction to her.

 

[6_Qubed]

Hold up. I never once said that looks weren't important. Jesus, man, I'm a shallow bastard with an abysmally short attention span, I need a woman who's interesting to look at in my life.

 

[Flailing Escapist]

I'll agree with one thing: I only ba-ba-bang girls I find physically attractive. I've never slept with someone because of their "personality".
(co-co-combo breaker!)
[small]and can I just assume that you're dating one ugly broad, as well? I will, thanks[/small]
I won't say a personality is everything but I wouldn't date or engage in sexual activities with a woman who's personality I didn't agree with. But even if I meet someone who had the personality of a thousand suns but has paper bag over head ugly I can't say I'd shack up with them either.

You just have to find a balance some where in the middle.

 

[Brother-Link]

Usually when I find someone with a personality I'm drawn to and like, they seem more attractive. Don't know if anyone else has experienced that.

 

[Fappy]

While I agree and am certainly guilty of putting too much emphasis on physical attraction myself, I think you are generalizing a person's taste. Some people prefer heavy men/women for example.

 

[katsumoto03]

[...]Personally, if I can't look at you, I can't date you. And if I can't look at you, I sure as hell can't have sex with you, and sex is the entire point of a relationship.[...]

I disagree with you on a fundamental level there. Do you think the entire point of the relationship you have with your parents, friends, ect. is sex?

Even when you're in a relationship with someone and you're sexually active, the sex is merely an aspect of the relationship, not the point.

 

[ShadowsofHope]

I agree. I can't stand it when those threads pop up about wether or not looks are important, and the poll always has the "I value their personality more than their looks" option as the leading choice.

Personally, if I can't look at you, I can't date you. And if I can't look at you, I sure as hell can't have sex with you, and sex is the entire point of a relationship.
[small]I can't wait to see how many times I get quoted for that. But I feel like if you don't know what I'm talking about, I shouldn't waste my time explaining it, because you'll just disagree.[/small]

Agreed. Also as example here, I really hate the movie "Shallow Hal" for attempting a pathetic guilt based on the absurd "personality over looks, or you are a qualified douchebag".

[...]Personally, if I can't look at you, I can't date you. And if I can't look at you, I sure as hell can't have sex with you, and sex is the entire point of a relationship.[...]

I disagree with you on a fundamental level there. Do you think the entire point of the relationship you have with your parents, friends, ect. is sex?

Even when you're in a relationship with someone and you're sexually active, the sex is merely an aspect of the relationship, not the point.

Obviously he meant a romantic relationship, here. An expected strawman response though, to say the least.

Also, the importance of sex in a relationship depends solely upon the couple in question. While sex is only an aspect of romantic relationships, it's presence per relationship varies quite a lot.

 

[RainingOnYourParade]

I am usually friends with people for a time before I start becoming attracted to them, and I'm very, very put off by arrogance or general assholery. The people with bad personalities are pretty much weeded out before I even consider them for a relationship. From those who remain whose personalities are nice, I become attracted to the nicer-looking ones. I think that both looks and personality are equally important.

 

[Sacman]

Here's how I look at it... looks only really matter to beautiful people... ugly people like myself don't really have a choice in the matter... It's personality or nothing...<.<

 

[dyre]

I don't know anyone who claims that physical attraction does not matter at all...

You're shooting at a non-existent crowd, I think

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

Anyone who says that looks don't matter at all is a lying cockmongrel. That being said, it's not as damning as it may sound. Sure, looks matter (they're what attracts you to a person in the first place), but everyone has their own definition of beauty. Personally, I don't find the typically attractive 'bombshell' kind of girls attractive. They're attractive because they put a lot of effort into looking attractive, and that is supremely unattractive to me. The girls I always tend to be attracted to rarely wear makeup, and are what most people would call 'average looking'. I refer to them as 'naturally beautiful'.

I also tend to be attracted to 'bigger' girls (considering I weigh in around 125lb soaking wet, bigger isn't much of a stretch for me). Modern society has branded it damn near a sin to be above a size 0, and that makes me weep. I think anyone below maybe a size 3 or 4 is too damn skinny and needs a cheeseburger, pronto.

 

[mikespoff]

Personally, if I can't look at you, I can't date you. And if I can't look at you, I sure as hell can't have sex with you, and sex is the entire point of a relationship.

I was with you right up until the last clause. Sex is extremely important in a relationship. But if it's "the entire point", then prostitution is the solution to all your relationship needs.

OT: of course looks are important. They're not enough by themselves, but being attractive (whatever that means to each person) is what opens the door to relationship possibilities.

 

[DocBalance]

About physical attraction not being important when it comes to romantic relationships. Please, just stop. When you're dating uber-ugly, obese, and deformed Betty or Jack, then, I'll listen. Otherwise, it's rubbish, and you know it. I know you don't want people to think you're shallow and all, and I know you value other qualities of a person more than looks. But don't sit here and lie to yourself, and others, about it being a non-issue.

Now, I'm not saying physical attraction is the most important factor in finding a mate, but it is a key one and, more often than not, usually the very first factor to make an impression. If that's not true, humans have magically evolved while I was taking a nap, and now, I have to throw out every piece of knowledge I had about people and start from scratch.

And when you find me an uber-ugly, obsese, deformed Betty that is genuinely sweet, funny, caring, and actually wants to be in a relationship, I'll date her. Until then, I'll just reflect upon the last relationship I had with a girl who thought she was ugly, which ended when she decided that she wasn't attractive enough to have a boyfriend and thus I must be messing with her.