Poll: Following behind people

[zelda2fanboy]

I was at the mall today walking by myself and an attractive woman exited a store ahead of me. I walked at my normal pace, but her and I were walking the same speed. Therefore, I was basically following her. I could tell she was looking back a little bit at me and I tried not to stare. I tried to go another direction, but it was blocked off. I tried to speed up and walk around, but I couldn't. I wanted to slow down, but it would look even more like I was intentionally tailing her. Eventually a path opened up and I could get past, while I think she went into a store. I was tempted to stop at some kitchen supply place just to get away.

More than the sensation of being followed, accidentally following someone really makes me uncomfortable, especially when it is a good looking female around my age or younger. I feel like I'm making them nervous or that they're afraid I'll try and interact with them. The have every right to be weirded out when a lone male is walking behind them and I know it. This seems to happen a lot, too. A few weeks ago, I was stuck on a long winding one way road behind a teenage couple and they couldn't stop looking back and being creeped out. I couldn't get ahead, I couldn't go any slower, I was just stuck behind them as a random creepy guy. I hate that.

Is there any way around this? Does anyone feel the same? Am I just crazy?

Edit To be clear, I'm not talking about being followed. I'm talking about accidentally following someone else.

 

[Riki Darnell]

I feel the same way! I already have a kinda public anxiety, but when stuff like that happens it makes me even more nervous and on edge. As a female tho, I do feel that people are less "creeped out" by me if I do end up following them for a bit.

 

[Esotera]

When I get really bored in cities sometimes I will pick someone on the high street, and follow where they're going within the constraints of the city centre, and obviously not following them into shops. I was introduced to this game by a couple of friends and whilst it sounds really weird it actually gives you a cool perspective on different people's lives, and they never find out so no-one is hurt. Half of the fun is guessing where they'll go.

 

[Batou667]

I never really get "weirded out" by being followed (to be honest I don't pay that much attention), but I'm occasionally conscious that a girl might think I'm stalking her. I usually cross the road to try to defuse the situation.

 

[bobmus]

No. I am possibly the least threatening individual I've ever met - posh and have never been in a fight - and thus find the idea that someone might conceive me as being even vaguely threatening quite hilarious.

 

[Total LOLige]

I get nervous when I'm right behind someone but I don't think I've seen anyone look back with a look that says "who's this creepy bastard?"

 

[Able Seacat]

I get uncomfortable when someone's walking behind me even though it is very unlikely that there is any danger present so I try to avoid walking behind someone if I can by overtaking or keeping distance. Though it is very annoying when you can't get past people who are walking too slow, places to be people!

 

[FamoFunk]

I'm so oblivious to people following me I'm seriously easy to stalk. I may have been stalked a number of times but wouldn't of known about it.

 

[DoPo]

The poll doesn't make it obvious - are we uncomfortable when we follow people or are we uncomfortable when people follow us. I believe you mean the former, but some people seem to be confused.

Is there any way around this? Does anyone feel the same? Am I just crazy?

Well, easy, there is a trick that helps in so many public places - pull out your phone. That's it, really. Just pull out the phone and pretend you're texting or even talking, if you wish - you can do so much with this. Speed up, slow down, or just turn around (if you need to). Also, you'll seem oblivious to your surroundings, which is a bonus. I've pulled the phone trick so many times, I think it can be applied to at least 80% of the casual awkward public situations.

 

[DustyDrB]

Nope. I don't even think I'm aware when it happens, because I can't even think of a situation where it has happened.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Not really althought the times I did felt like I was following a person ahead of me, I either slow down or there were enough spaces for me to change my direction.

 

[Zhukov]

No, not really.

I mean, I'm aware of it when it happens. I'm a 6-foot, 100kg, slightly scruffy looking guy. The thought certainly occurs to me that some random person might perceive me as a threat when I'm "following" them. I think it more of a personal space thing than anything else though.

However, it doesn't make me uncomfortable. I've never been given funny looks or been challenged.

 

[Raven's Nest]

Not normally but I've taken to wearing boots with pretty substantial heels as of the last few years and therefore my footsteps are amongst the loudest going. I suppose that might creep someone out in front of me...

I probably freaked a driver out in front of me when I was behind him on the motorway and ended up following him for 20 minutes, over 6 or so roundabouts and into the same residential estate.

Has anyone else been driving along and felt like the car behind was following you so you make a random turn into a cul de sac (dead end) street, only to find that the guy following you is now wondering why you are suddenly blocking their driveway? Well, that's bloody akward...

 

[TehCookie]

I'm a ninja so people don't notice when I'm following them, but I tend to walk fast so I usually end up passing them most of the time.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Wow, I'm glad I made a poll because I would have thought this was exclusively a guy thing (as in, she thinks I might attack her). I feel much less crazy now. I just want to be like "No, I'm not going to try to talk to you in any capacity. I am just walking in the same direction you are walking."

Once when I was getting off the bus in high school, it started pouring down rain. My neighbor who I was really awkward around started running, but her running speed was the same as my usual walking speed.

 

[Ljs1121]

I'd say sometimes. It depends if I have something more important on my mind. If I'm particularly carefree that day, my thoughts will be centered on "I hope this guy/gal doesn't think I'm some creepy stalker!". But if I'm thinking about something that needs my attention, I'll focus myself on it and forget about others.

 

[Lightnr]

I was at the mall today walking by myself and an attractive woman exited a store ahead of me. I walked at my normal pace, but her and I were walking the same speed. Therefore, I was basically following her. I could tell she was looking back a little bit at me and I tried not to stare. I tried to go another direction, but it was blocked off. I tried to speed up and walk around, but I couldn't. I wanted to slow down, but it would look even more like I was intentionally tailing her. Eventually a path opened up and I could get past, while I think she went into a store. I was tempted to stop at some kitchen supply place just to get away.

More than the sensation of being followed, accidentally following someone really makes me uncomfortable, especially when it is a good looking female around my age or younger. I feel like I'm making them nervous or that they're afraid I'll try and interact with them. The have every right to be weirded out when a lone male is walking behind them and I know it. This seems to happen a lot, too. A few weeks ago, I was stuck on a long winding one way road behind a teenage couple and they couldn't stop looking back and being creeped out. I couldn't get ahead, I couldn't go any slower, I was just stuck behind them as a random creepy guy. I hate that.

Is there any way around this? Does anyone feel the same? Am I just crazy?

Edit To be clear, I'm not talking about being followed. I'm talking about accidentally following someone else.

Oh my god man, seriously! Go live in Europe for a while where people are more genuine (not necessarily nicer - in fact they can be much meaner, but more genuine) and you will abandon this ridiculous state of social awkwardness. Women, men are all just people, and we all have places to go. Nobody cares if you and they have the same path for a while. Only people with similar handicapped social interaction skills will pay attention or be uncomfortable. And especially since she was attractive - what is she? a wild animal or something? There is nothing wrong with striking up a conversation if you would like to - just like there is nothing wrong with not saying anything and going about your business, and just like there is nothing wrong with her making a face, or smiling, or she starting a conversation with you. We are all just people and these are human things - nothing to be awkward or weirded out from.

 

[Clearing the Eye]

No. I am possibly the least threatening individual I've ever met - posh and have never been in a fight - and thus find the idea that someone might conceive me as being even vaguely threatening quite hilarious.

Until you evolve into blastoise, then watch the fuck up! Hydro pump the shit out of your ass, fool.

 

[TheCaptain]

I suppose this happens, but I've never felt like I'm making someone uncomfortable. If I was more aware of stuff like this happening, I might feel awkward. Though usually when I'm "accused" of paying more attention to people than I actually do, I get rather annoyed.
I remember one instance when I was at a bar with a couple of (male) friends and checked something on my phone, two middle-aged ladies sitting across the room had a waitress come over and ask me to "stop making pictures of them", which left me pretty pissed.

Bottom line: People need to stop being so damn paranoid. If they don't, it's not my fault. And it's certainly not your's either, OP.