Poll: Forever Alone... Or Friend Zone

[Catalyst6]

You're in high school? Dude, just enjoy yourself. If you spend all your time doing nothing but chasing after girls then you're going to miss out on everything.

If you're really worried about it, well, there's a reason why this EXACT situation is the base of so many jokes on the internet; it happens to everyone.

The way I see it, you have three options.

1. Stop caring about chasing girls and enjoy yourself. If a girl comes to you and wants to date, well, that's all the merrier.

2. Be more aggressive. Don't try to work on moving her into a position where she might say yes, just ASK. Trust me, it's always better that way, and your rate of success is much higher. People of both genders hate to wait, and they hate to be strung around.

3. Just be awesome. Focus on doing what you enjoy, and do it really well. That has more value than anything. Related to #1.

Im starting to think that becoming close to anyone isnt worth it anymore, and even if life is worth it anymore...

So, I just would like to know if anyone else in the Escapist community is in a relationship situation similar to mine, or something completely different?

/facepalm.

You're never the only one, for one. Second, there's more to life than women, believe it or not, just like there's more to life than high school. Third, perhaps your issue can be expressed in fifteen-foot high, neon-green letters that spell out "Self Esteem Issues"!

 

[Zeetchmen]

Forever along, sad I know but its my own fault in everyway shape and form.

 

[Hader]

snip

Not like honey?! ಠ_ಠ

Forever along, sad I know but its my own fault in everyway shape and form.

Don't act as if all is lost; be optimistic. Set your mind to it, and good will result in one way or another.

 

[Fenring]

Single, but having some awesome times.

Hookup thread starts here:

 

[TimeLord]

I'm single and have been for about 2 years now.
Sometimes I love it. Most times I hate it.

 

[Hader]

I'm single and have been for about 2 years now.
Sometimes I love it. Most times I hate it.

Don't get too down on that, love it more Being single has its merits.

 

[Spinozaad]

In a relationship for over two years now.

Also, there is no such thing as the 'Friend Zone'. If you want to escape this construction of self-pity, you simply have to act confident. You don't even have to be confident at first.

 

[kingcom]

(Im in highschool, so all ages clubs are filled with them)

Your in highschool and you've had more relationships than some of us have ever had. Goddamn I hate threads like this.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Still single but I've been in two rushed relationships and one the eventually ended because she was lying about loving me.

I'm having fun but I miss it. Just enjoy Highschool and don't worry about relationships too much. You have the rest of your life to worry about that.

 

[Hader]

I wouldn't take high school relationships too seriously; possibly a good intro the the world of love (possibly) but overall they turn out inconsequential most of the time.

 

[DanielBrown]

Forever alone!
I used to be a real player before. Met new girls all the time and if someone got my attention enough for me to get in a relationship with them it only lasted for two weeks tops.
These days I've run out of friends and I don't get out anymore, so I don't meet new people. Not that intrested in changing things though. Sure, it sucks sometimes, but most of the time I don't feel like having friends or fuck buddies.

 

[PsionicAtlas]

snip

My vote: In a relationship, so far long (though I'm not sure what constitutes as 'long')

You are in the exact situation my best friend is in, except you're in high school so you can take advice and avoid the whole worrying debacle(my best friend has been trying since grade 9 and is still trying, he's 22 now).

From what I gather about your situation, here's the same advice I gave to my best friend. Don't go into a date, or go looking after girls expecting something. If you're going out with girls wanting a relationship or more, you're going for the wrong reason. You should be going out to have fun, or if there is already interest, to have fun and to learn about the person. If you ARE interested in them, make it apparent by TELLING them. Yea it can be hard, trust me, I'm an incredibly shy introvert so I understand the difficulty. But you cannot assume people will tune in to your own feelings through slight nuances and clues. Everyone thinks differently and has different experiences which affects how they perceive things. For example, maybe you think holding the girl's hand is a signal to them that you like them. For them, they might just be a touchy-feely person or someone who thinks that hand holding means nothing. The only clear way to get it through is to say it.

Lastly, you're in high school, there is no rush at all. Be patient and just enjoy yourself and life. If you try to speed ahead you're going to find yourself looking back at a lot of wasted time.

TL;DR: Don't rush, go out with girls for fun and not expecting anything, if interested vocalize it.

PS: Also high standards are ok, but if you like someone it can surprise you, be willing to lower it sometimes if the situation arises.

 

[Roadface]

Well with me I've been in love with the same girl for years. She is one of my closest friends on account of the rest of my friends being losers. She knows I am in love with her but none of that matters because she doesn't love me back. Feelings of attraction can't be rationalized. The same force that made me fall in love with her is also guiding her to not see me in a romantic way. I too feel like a sucker for being friend zoned but that is how it is going to be for a while. You see the problem is that when you are in love with someone. Other members of the opposite sex are just that. I don't see anything special in other girls. Even girls that have good looks. As it turns out the only girls that hit on me are really fat.

So I emphasize with the OP. I could go out and find the easy girls but I just don't care about having one night stands. I'm looking for a relationship and right now the person I'm closest too is coldly shrugging me aside. I think the key is to do something about it. Try to work toward getting out of "forever alone" or "forever friend zoned". If you are very upset that this person is refusing to date you and can't give you a legitimate reason why; then you should not associate with them if you have any decency. Or if you are a sucker just maintain that awkward friendship out of desperation.

*sigh* I wish it was easy to get over one person and then find another to fall in love with.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

Forever a clone.

Seriously though, I'm mostly a friend-zone kind of guy. Mostly for my talent of falling for already taken people.

 

[darkfire613]

Forever friend zone, but I don't really mind. I'm mostly asexual anyway, so it really doesn't matter much to me.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Forever alone and entirely okay with that.
Love is for CHUMPS and I guess people who are not angry at everything forever.

I am going to ignore how ridiculously Nice Guy this thread is because it has already been pointed out and it is not like that stopped anyone.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

Dude, seriously, the girls can't be THAT into you if they keep getting into relationships with other guys. And don't fall into the martyr thing-the "nice guys don't get the girl" nonsense is just that-nonsense. A guy who is actually nice can find somebody cool to date-it's just the passive-aggressive jerks who have trouble and blame it on everyone else. It sounds to me like your social skills are fine, so maybe you aren't being direct enough if you're getting the friend zone. Or maybe the girls really aren't that interested.

Whatever man, this is high school. Worry about crap like relationships in college and the years beyond. You have your whole life ahead of you to ruin with relationships-now is a time to think about career, further education and where you want to go.

Incidentally, I've been dating somebody for about 8-9 months. So far things have worked out pretty well.

 

[Vortigar]

Your in highschool and you've had more relationships than some of us have ever had. Goddamn I hate threads like this.

Same here.

The worst one I've come across is:
"I have social anxiety. Whenever me and my wife go anywhere..."

Huh, what? You? How? Bleh.

As for the OP:
Try and not let it get you down. Stick around (or not) and just go on living your own life. Talk to her about it if you plan on sticking around. And don't feel guilty if that other relationship ends and she hooks up with you, you're merely giving an option, it's her choice if she takes it.

If that guy really is the douche you say he is then it seems to me she's getting back together with him more to prove something to herself (I didn't fail, didn't choose wrong, wasn't my fault, etc.) than because of the guy himself. Just conjecture though.

 

[ApophisMP]

Ill be Alone forever and its my choosing, I dont wish to play games anymore. I have had some girlfreinds all in end in the same stories you always hear, I almost married once-but i guess someone who puts thier life on the line for MY Country wasnt good enough, something like " You werent there for me" and other stuff proving that being nice and have morals isnt what women want everything they said they want in life is just words take my advice do the reverse of whatever they want in life, your get more women.