Poll: Freaky New Spider in the Room
- Thread starter interspark
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colorful and the size of a football? hmm, my first priority would be to vacate the room, then think about my next move. i'd probably want to catch it, ultimately.
Kill it. Fast and hard. But not beyond recognition. Make some money off that *****.
Who am i kidding, i'd piss my pants...
Who am i kidding, i'd piss my pants...
Oh...shit, they come in 'giant' size too. Jesus, no WONDER the army guys in the Middle East have assault rifles. It's not terrorism. It's SPIDERS! I mean, this animation here [http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/364270] says it all.AndyFromMonday said:FalloutJack said:
OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST IN HEAVEN AND ALL THAT IS HOLY IN THE WORLD. That's not a fucking spider, that's a goddamn alien from outer space. No fire can tame a beast like that. It's over guys, it's fucking over...
Then again I'm an arachnophobe so whatever.
Something like this did happen to me, except it was a normal spider size (but it had some horrendous looking fangs). It actually had some blue on it. It was while I was living in my first apartment. By the door, we had this half-wall thing [footnote]kind of like this [http://www.feithonline.com/humidor/photos/f-door.jpg][/footnote].
I was sitting in the recliner in the den when my roommate kindly pointed out that there was a spider on the wall immediately behind me. I[footnote]I'm scared to death of spiders after hearing about people who got extreme staph infections from spider bites. His skin pretty much "rotted off" in a large area around the bite and it occasionally recurred and was extremely painful. I've also had several near misses with Black Widows.[/footnote] jumped out of my seat and saw it. It was unusual looking (it had some blue, and the most wretched pair of fangs I've ever seen in person on a spider). That part freaked me out, but I threw a magazine at it. I missed. It then jumped off the wall and to the floor. When I say jump, I don't mean it simply fell. It jumped like a particularly motivated frog would jump to freedom from its predator.
It was a jump that my mind interpreted as "Holy shit! This thing is invincible! It could pounce on me and bite my eyes and make them rot out. And then it would crawl inside me and do the same to my innards! RUN AWAY!!!!". So at the moment the spider landed, I jumped up onto the half-wall and embraced the pillar connected to it like a child would clutch its mother. And I let my roommates finish off the spider, while I stayed in that position until they assured me the spider was flushed away...
So if the spider was the size of a football, I'd probably kill myself out of fear of what torturous intentions the creature would have for me.
I was sitting in the recliner in the den when my roommate kindly pointed out that there was a spider on the wall immediately behind me. I[footnote]I'm scared to death of spiders after hearing about people who got extreme staph infections from spider bites. His skin pretty much "rotted off" in a large area around the bite and it occasionally recurred and was extremely painful. I've also had several near misses with Black Widows.[/footnote] jumped out of my seat and saw it. It was unusual looking (it had some blue, and the most wretched pair of fangs I've ever seen in person on a spider). That part freaked me out, but I threw a magazine at it. I missed. It then jumped off the wall and to the floor. When I say jump, I don't mean it simply fell. It jumped like a particularly motivated frog would jump to freedom from its predator.
It was a jump that my mind interpreted as "Holy shit! This thing is invincible! It could pounce on me and bite my eyes and make them rot out. And then it would crawl inside me and do the same to my innards! RUN AWAY!!!!". So at the moment the spider landed, I jumped up onto the half-wall and embraced the pillar connected to it like a child would clutch its mother. And I let my roommates finish off the spider, while I stayed in that position until they assured me the spider was flushed away...
So if the spider was the size of a football, I'd probably kill myself out of fear of what torturous intentions the creature would have for me.
I don't know about the bigger the less dangerous, I do know the bigger the scarier they are. I've never been scared of a red back, the most dangeous spider in australia, but been terrified of huntsmans which are not considered dangeous.richardplex said:Isn't the rule, the bigger it is the less lethal it is? or is that just scorpions?
I would scream at the top of my voice at a very high pitch, like the manly man I am, run to cry in the corner at my experience, again in a very manly way. then I'd get the bible and kill it. The only use it has for me, and it's very good at it.
I'm going to put that picture on the top of my list of reasons to avoid Australia at all costs.kalt_13 said:
Massive spiders? thats normal down here. the blue bit tho... thats new. I would probably sit on the other side of the room and watch it. If it came for me tho, if I'm wearing boots I'll kill it, if (more likely)I'm not I would run like a little girl.
Off topic: If you want reasons to be scared of australia listen to this.
I'm sure that that's just two spiders put together.AndyFromMonday said:FalloutJack said:
OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST IN HEAVEN AND ALL THAT IS HOLY IN THE WORLD. That's not a fucking spider, that's a goddamn alien from outer space. No fire can tame a beast like that. It's over guys, it's fucking over...
Then again I'm an arachnophobe so whatever.
Anyways, if I encountered the big blue spider, my only answer: Kill it. Kill the shit out of it and burn the body. Then I'd toss the body in a recently dug deep hole and throw a molotov in there. Just to make sure.
We have an old cavalry sabre downstairs in my mom's dresser, I'd probably grab that and STAB IT OVER AND OVER UNTIL EACH LEG IS SEVERED! Then I'd probably post a thread on this site to figure out what to do next.
No football sized spider is going to hang ANYWHERE near me and live to tell the tale.
No football sized spider is going to hang ANYWHERE near me and live to tell the tale.
I'm shooting hollow points. That would turn that fucker into a splat. Though, come to think of it, that might leave a bit larger a hole than .45.
To qoute Jed from Kilplix and Friends:
KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!
KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!
If I saw a football sized spider on my wall I would freak the hell out and probably yank the pistol out of my purse and start shooting.
And I wouldn't stop until the damn thing stopped twitching.
Edit: The poster above me, you made me laugh aloud with that .gif. I thank you for it.
And I wouldn't stop until the damn thing stopped twitching.
Edit: The poster above me, you made me laugh aloud with that .gif. I thank you for it.
I would kill it with my fucking .50 revolver and just repair the damage afterwards if it was the size of a football...