Poll: Freaky New Spider in the Room

[Leemaster777]

You know that scene in the matrix where they summon the rows and rows of guns in the training area. I would use every single one of those and destroy the spider and probably the wall it was sitting on. I would then burn down the house with Napalm to make sure any other spiders of that species died. Then I would move, to the bottom of the ocean.

Not an arachnophobe but any insect or arachnid more than twice the size of what I am used to seeing dies.

You know there are some species of spiders that live at deep-sea levels, right? They're pretty fuckin scary-looking too

.......

*twitch*

well then....

TO SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

Get ahold of yourself, soldier! We have no idea what's out there. It could be worse!

I know! Hasn't s/he seen Starship Troopers!?

Don't forget the Lost in Space movie. Those spiders can shoot lasers out of their mouths. And if they bite you, you turn into a giant, blue, over-acting man-spider. Who is also pregnant with millions of tiny spiders, for some reason.

 

[Biosophilogical]

OT: I'd bail. Size of a football!? I think they made a movie like that, and let me tell you, shit hit the fan.

Was the movie eight-legged freaks by any chance? I would love to show that movie to an arachnophobic person >

Yes it was I used to be afraid of spiders, but you don't last long in Australia being afraid of your neighbours. But I think I'd be appropriately terrified if the "Eight-Legged Freaks" trap door spiders were real (or the ones that kill pets, or kidnap people as gifts).

Lol, I will admit though that those spiders would be awesome in a closed exhibit in real life. VERY WELL CLOSED exhibit mind you, but maybe that is because I am as far from an arachnophobe as you are likely to find unless I know that it is highly venomous.

What self-respecting Aussie wouldn't love that? Just imagine the shows! Like where the zoo trainers play with the crocodiles, except with an element of the Jurassic Park raptor feeding.

Although what if their SMALL AS HELL eggs got through some air vents 0.o It would be a tad worse than the cane toad I imagine, Spiders lay hundreds of eggs, they can fly and they would likely be highly venomous... Still awesome XD

Hahahahaha. True. Imagine them going itno the Tasmanian devil enclosure to play with them for our amusement, only to find that there aren't any Devils left. The big WTF moment of the trainer while all of us who have seen Eight-Legged Freaks have our own "Holy Balls and Hellfire, Batman!" moment

 

[Brandon237]

You know there are some species of spiders that live at deep-sea levels, right? They're pretty fuckin scary-looking too

yeeeah, i'm going to need to see some pictures of that please

I have still never learned how to embed video, hide spoilers, or basically use any forum technique effectively besides just plain words haha. So, I request that you do an image search on Google for 'sea spiders.' Scarier than any spider on land in my opinion... Of course the spider's walking speed is probably reduced to slow motion when you're on the sea-floor. At first, it sounds like it'd be less scary, but the more you think about it.... A spider walking towards you ever so slowly (especially while your speed is reduced also) sounds a hell of a lot worse than any spider experience I can think of on land. Until of course spiders learn to fly... 8( hahaha

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And they are more crabs than spiders for the most part, but I think they should still hit that sweet spot >8D

And spiders can fly... well, move through the air for large distances through ballooning.

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[standokan]

I'd grab the deorant and let it suffocate (and smell nice).

 

[Brandon237]

OT: I'd bail. Size of a football!? I think they made a movie like that, and let me tell you, shit hit the fan.

Was the movie eight-legged freaks by any chance? I would love to show that movie to an arachnophobic person >

Yes it was I used to be afraid of spiders, but you don't last long in Australia being afraid of your neighbours. But I think I'd be appropriately terrified if the "Eight-Legged Freaks" trap door spiders were real (or the ones that kill pets, or kidnap people as gifts).

Lol, I will admit though that those spiders would be awesome in a closed exhibit in real life. VERY WELL CLOSED exhibit mind you, but maybe that is because I am as far from an arachnophobe as you are likely to find unless I know that it is highly venomous.

What self-respecting Aussie wouldn't love that? Just imagine the shows! Like where the zoo trainers play with the crocodiles, except with an element of the Jurassic Park raptor feeding.

Although what if their SMALL AS HELL eggs got through some air vents 0.o It would be a tad worse than the cane toad I imagine, Spiders lay hundreds of eggs, they can fly and they would likely be highly venomous... Still awesome XD

Hahahahaha. True. Imagine them going itno the Tasmanian devil enclosure to play with them for our amusement, only to find that there aren't any Devils left. The big WTF moment of the trainer while all of us who have seen Eight-Legged Freaks have our own "Holy Balls and Hellfire, Batman!" moment

To be honest, I think a football sized blue spider like that would likely be able to take out an elephant with its venom, that would be scary... especially if it was a jumping spider, I think not just the devils, but the trainer too would be gone in moments! Lovely, all my walls and blankets are blue XP And I am going to sleep now. This is going to be... fun, for the spiders in my imagination that are normally cute, little, fuzzy jumping spiders. Save me

This is going to be a double post, isn't it?

 

[otakon17]

Well, I said catch it in the poll, BEFORE I saw that it was the size of a football and a bright blue. Kill it for safety, call in the government, were in a B-monster movie now. Lucky for me I have a large mallet right next to the computer.

 

[Seanfall]

After running screaming from the room like a crybaby, (grabbing up my dog and running.) I'd come back in homemade body armor with a shotgun in one hand and a Steel baseball bat in the other.

 

[sleeky01]

The size of a football?!? It's a god-damm Facehugger!!!

 

[Auninteligentname]

*A wild giant blue spider appeared!*
*Auninteligentname fled!*

That is probably what would have happened. Few things I've learned; When things are blue, or any strong color really, it's most likely posionous. They might eat bigger things than themselves. Bigger spiders = more vicious posion (not necesarilly true, but in my logic, it is). In other words: I'll GTFO, ASAP.

 

[conflictofinterests]

Jesus Christ, football sized spider? I'd need a fucking raccoon trap to catch that thing. Guess I'm going out to get me a raccoon trap then.

 

[LaughingAtlas]

I would sit back quietly, ask it how it's day is going and why it entered my house. If it didn't answer, I would guess this new arachnid is, like the rest, non-sentient, and proceed to try to detain it by way of broom and laundry basket. If I can catch it, animal control or something might be able to take it from there, if not, I'd bludgeon it to death and inform someone of the corpse of a new creature in my house. If I can't kill it, it won, and gets to decide the next course of action.

EDIT: to be clear, the bolded "if not" is if I'm not able to catch it.

 

[DarkhoIlow]

I would go with "KILL IT WITH FIRE!" option and run in my basement,grab a shovel and smash him into oblivion.

 

[Pinkamena]

The size of a football? I'd get the fuck out of there.

 

[CleverCover]

RUN! RUN AWAY SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS PRAYING IT WON'T TURN AND SPIT ACID/EAT ME/ATTACH TO MY FACE!

Call in the army, the marines, and the engineer that controls the little red button that decides where the nukes go.

My apartment won't last the night and my neighbors will just have to deal.

 

[aba1]

screw leaving the room im leaving the country suddenly moving further north doesnt sound so bad

 

[aba1]

on a side note its going to be really bad when the first aliens to visit our planet are super friendly spiders that are huge. They will say hey nice to meet you and we will proceed to explode and scream everything around us they will feel threatened suddenly were at war with spiders fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu