Poll: Girls Don't Like Assholes.

[Programmed_For_Damage]

Personally speaking, when I was in my mid teens I'd get absolutely no play from the women. I was polite, friendly and keen to understand them. In my late teens I finally decided "nice guys DO finish last" and I vastly altered my personality to become this arrogant, confident, non-caring rogue of a character and the women flocked to me. I had more game than I knew what to do with.
What I did learn was that while women do seem attracted to that "arsehole" type character, when you start to get to the serious part of the relationship they want to the type of guy I was before. Case in point, my wife. She was attracted to the over-confident narcisist but now we're married she wants the stable, genial guy that she can depend on and trust and I'm having trouble going back to the person I "was"; who is probably the person I really am.
Anyway, save yourself the therapy money that I'm forking out at the moment and just be true to who you are. I know it's all "touchy feely" and stuff but it saves having an identity crisis at 30.

B.T.W CM Punk is awesome.

Are you sure that you were as nice of a guy as you thought? Or at least for the right reasons? I can't help but wonder about the motivation of someone who stops being a nice guy once they realize it's not getting any action for it. Not trying to judge you here, I don't know you, and I'm just expanding this out from the context you've given, but shouldn't someone who is legitimately a nice guy act like that regardless of female attention?

Not saying that you're the arrogant rogue (can't help but think of Han Solo from that) that you turned yourself into, but was the nice guy phase motivated by wanting action and ditched when it didn't yield results?

(Once again, I don't know you so I'm not making judgments on your character. I'm just curious)

Hey don't worry about covering your arse there buddy, I'm not offended in the slightest (but I do appreciate you taking that into consideration). And I can see where you're coming from, especially as I was reflecting on this on the way in to work this morning.
There's a line from an Anberlin song that goes "My mask is growing heavy, but I've forgotten who's beneath" and that very much applies to where I am now, and in truth I'm scared to find out. So in answer to your question, I'm not 100% sure which one is more "real" than the other. However from letters that girlfriends have written I can kind of pinpoint the period where I started to "turn".

 

[TakeyB0y2]

When I was in high school, I was friends with this guys who liked a girl but she essentially friend-zoned him. Eventually she hooked up with some guy and he rattled on and on about how much of an asshole he is and how she much only like assholes.

So this "asshole" was in one of my classes and we ended up working on a group project together and, well... Honestly, I didn't see a single drop of assholeness in him. He was nice, cooperative and conversational. He could be a bit loud at times, but he was never rude, and we kinda became in-class-only friends. It REALLY made me think my friend only called the guy an asshole was out of spite because he took "his girl".

I imagine the same is probably true when it comes to most "assholes".

 

[AngelBlackChaos]

Stop lumping us together like some horrible mass of tits, ass, mysteries and judgement.

I love this. I think I might start using it. Just wanted to congratulate you

Use away. its what it feels like. Stop treating girls like some boss that you can conquer with the right strategy. Guys can be complicated, girls can be complicated. Its just idiotic to think otherwise.

I love it when guys make threads like this, it starts off stupid and gradually gets worse, Then the Hive mind theories start to come out and I am slowly becoming more and more ashamed of my gender, And then the internet releases a chunk of gold. You are an internet chunk o' gold, and I would shake you by the hand, but this is a text based conversation.

And that's the thing. Sometimes I feel more like its internet hive mind than what some actually think, but I never know. I have had guys bully me in groups on games, because i am female. Then after all the crazy, I get apologies. They realize it went to far, etc. Sometimes...people just get caught in the internet moment.

Doesn't quite excuse it, but it makes me slightly more forgiving in my posts than usual.

And thank you for the compliment as well. Its nice to read of agreeable minds.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Women are a hivemind again?

Nice.

Now I can get them all to make me a sandwich at the same time by using my fiancee as my communicator.

Your Fiancee: Your request for sandwich has been denied. The swarm demands you clean our the garage, take out the trash, and get a real job you lazy bum. Resistense is futile, and will make us nag.

OT: I am not sure I can say anything on this thread. I have had a terrible time trying to get a relationship, so I cannot say if this is true or not in anyway at all.

 

[Enverex]

Women don't like assholes, they're drawn to them. A subtle but meaningful difference.

Exactly, they'll claim they hate them, that they'd never date them, that they are indeed - assholes. But they'll still go against everything they say and do it anyway. Seen it a million times +1. Part of the "never believe what women say" issue.

 

[Phasmal]

Women don't like assholes, they're drawn to them. A subtle but meaningful difference.

Exactly, they'll claim they hate them, that they'd never date them, that they are indeed - assholes. But they'll still go against everything they say and do it anyway. Seen it a million times +1. Part of the "never believe what women say" issue.

More generalising! More sexism!
Cause we can't get enough of that.

How many people would be quoting my ass and telling me what-for if I'd posted that we should never believe what men say?

 

[Artemis923]

I'm an arrogant, opinionated asshole.

But I'm the sweetest guy in the world to my gf, because that's what she deserves.

Everyone else can eat a dick.

Therefore, not all assholes are terrible for women.

Just most of them.

 

[DreamaSkylar]

I certainly don't like them...

 

[Naeras]

Confidence.
Yes.
THE key word.

Now Imma eat them muffins.

 

[EeveeElectro]

I wasn't going to post in this again, but I'm genuinely curious as to what qualifies as an 'asshole'?
An asshole to me is someone who beats and berates his girlfriend. Someone who slags her off, insults her and takes advantage of her. Also someone who treats others like shit.
But it looks like it's just people with confidence are considered assholes in this thread :s Arrogance is a pretty bad trait to have, nothing wrong with a little bit of confidence though.

 

[Snowbell]

I think the rest of your post perpetuates a dangerous idea though. Just waiting for them to come around. That's really not a healthy attitude. If a girl isn't interested move on. Maybe something could possibly happen later but there's no point worrying about that because with all of the available information (guy likes girl, girl doesn't like guy) it's just not going to happen and there's no reason to assume otherwise.

Sorry, I forgot to add 'remember to re-evaluate step 1 occasionally', presuming that people have enough common sense to know after a while if they really have no chance. I'll go add that now

 

[Enverex]

Women don't like assholes, they're drawn to them. A subtle but meaningful difference.

Exactly, they'll claim they hate them, that they'd never date them, that they are indeed - assholes. But they'll still go against everything they say and do it anyway. Seen it a million times +1. Part of the "never believe what women say" issue.

More generalising! More sexism!
Cause we can't get enough of that.

How many people would be quoting my ass and telling me what-for if I'd posted that we should never believe what men say?

I'm just speaking from experience, and yes, it was a generalisation, but one that I've found is almost always true, just in varying degrees. I don't know whether women lie about this because they don't want to admit it or because they honestly don't realise they are doing it.

A (female) friend of mine said that she thinks they do it because they just love the danger, confidence and general control those men exhibit, even if they don't realise it's happening.

 

[templar1138a]

I voted Muffins are Delicious. Because they are.

But I would say you mostly have it down. I also remember going to the internet to complain about not being liked by girls and wondering what I was doing wrong and I've also noticed the change in tone. My fiancée and I have been together for nearly six years, and she's often referred to my level of confidence when admiring me. I think it's fair to say that confidence is definitely an attraction factor for the majority of girls and women.

And say what you like about differing personalities, but this is also a factor for females of most species. After all, many male animals (such as deer, giraffes, walruses) battle each other to attract the female for mating. In other species, females are attracted to noticeable physical qualities (peacocks with huge tail feathers attract peahens, male cardinals with bright red feathers attract female cardinals). Obviously, humans have mostly risen above those basic mating practices, but they still factor in. If a girl or woman intends to have children (and a good number do), they're not going to breed with anyone they don't find attractive or who lacks the confidence to help raise and care for those kids. This is also the case on a subconscious level even if they don't intend to have kids or just don't think about it much.

Obviously, this is all speculation on my part based on what I know of animal behavior and what I've observed about the women I know. I'm a guy and I'm no psychologist.

Also, before anyone starts accusing me of thinking women only care about appearances, let me point out that fun old cliché "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

Wait, a beholder? Run before it throws magic at us from its eyes!

Unrelated: The all-new Chevy Sonic can kiss my ass. The Escapist seems on-and-off about those damn ad captchas.

 

[Cranky]

Ah, who cares? I think if one truly requires gratification, fapping is an outlet for relief.

 

[katsabas]

I literally burst with laughter at the title. Where are you from exactly ? If you are in Europe I gotta do a fly-by since such girls tend to exist in this fucking continent.

If you found one such girl, then you clearly know something I don't. The good thing came to you earlier and I wish (with all my fucking 10-ton heart) that you hold on to that.

But I vividly remember all my high-school sweethearts getting it on with assholes. Not fun trying to understand why the fuck a girl likes being called a ***** all the time but whatever. Hell if I know if they liked them or not. But the asses sure had found some kind of magic honey and bathed in it. Girls are attracted to them because the majority of girls like getting semi-shafted. That's what I thought during high-school.

After 5 years of college (and this is gonna sound like 'Duh'), it was as simple as this:

People don't know what they want.

The crazy fog eventually lifts and stuff but the bottom line is that. That's the only reason a girl or a guy would end up with someone that doesn't appreciate them. In order to understand what you want, you get it on with assholes and bitches. And since they seem to have the same traits, you learn your lesson and simply try to avoid them from then on. Logic through the elimination method.

Now, about people that never learn and actually like being underappreciated ? No idea cause I don't hang around with any of these. With one exception. Then I talked him into breaking up with her after 6 years. Proud of it too.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

Women don't like assholes, they're drawn to them. A subtle but meaningful difference.

It's like the mosquito and the bug-zapper, they can't help it.

 

[TJC]

Pretty huge Wall-o-text that's worth reading because it's filled with common sense

Darn, and here was ready to get down and dirty over a teenage boy overgeneralizing and bitching about women.

Thing is, it's not just about relationships. The whole outlook on our world changed in the generation below us (and that's not even a generation... just maybe a few years)

They don't ask "What do I have to do/change about myself to get/achieve what I want?" but rather "Why isn't the world going the way I want?"
There's this weird shift of blame that baffles my mind because in 90% of the "problems" the person who asks the question could solve the problem easily by just getting off the high horse and maybe stop being such an entitled brat. GRAH!

On topic: Girls like boys (most of the time, there are some who prefer girls). I was an asshole once and got the girl (not exactly proud of myself, thinking back :/) and I was a perfectly nice guy and got the girl as well. Through this scientific research I can now happily proclaim that there's no mode of behaviour that will wet any girl's panties. (and I am no Casanova, seeing my many MANY failed attempts)

Then again, I had the common sense of NOT GOING AFTER GIRLS WHO HAVE BOYFRIENDS *facepalm*

 

[LadyDeadly]

I think you have an excellent point panzer! A lot of guys lack confidence, and i find that in its self is a deterrent.
when i started college i was terribly homesick for my freinds. I had noone to talk to about video games or anything, so the moment i saw some guys playing dnd at the common room i went over to talk to them, but unfortunately all i got was blank stares and one word answers and then i gave up.

It was pretty depressing actually.