Poll: Going Out With An Older Girl

[Zaverexus]

Okay, so it's another dating advice thread, whatever.
So there's this cool girl I know and while I don't know whether I want to go out with her, it got me thinking: would it be alright if I did.
See, she's older than me. That's fine, whatever, I've dated a couple of girls a bit younger than me, nbd. Except she's three years older (physically that is, she is still somewhat childish) and she's over 18... I'm not.
My main concern here is crossing that age benchmark, where she is officially an adult and I'm a minor (though I'm mature for my age and she's the opposite)
So is it right to date someone in another age-group, over that boundary?

 

[zombiesinc]

I really don't understand why most users seem to want to point out they're asking for advice within the Advice Forum. It's completely appropriate, and you shouldn't feel you need to apologize, directly or indirectly.

Anyway OT - Typically, I find that age difference means less the older the age range gets. Within your age group, it will be something that could matter, but that highly depends on the two involved. You say she's still somewhat childish... and from the sounds of it, you're somewhat more mature than the typical male your age. With those in mind, I don't really think the age difference is that big of a deal.

People generally reach different phases of their lives within certain age ranges. If you were considering dating a girl who had finished university, had a career, and was looking to settle down, I'd say the age difference (phase of life rather) would matter. But, from the sounds of it, the only major difference between the two of you is your age, not the phase of life you both are in (not to say you sound immature, but that she's slightly less mature for her age, while you seem slightly more mature for your age, at least).

So, in my opinion, what really matters is not the actual number of years difference between two people, but the phases of their lives they're both in, and their level of growth and development. If someone is overly mature for their age, and dates someone older, that age difference would mean little. If two people around the same age were to consider dating, but were in completely different phases of their lives, I'd say that dating might not work out so well.

 

[BE4T]

Go for it, although if the relationship gets sexual a few laws will be broken. (Which is why males dating minors is usually looked down upon, although vice versa is seen as not bad at all. Hmm.)

 

[New Troll]

You are both old enough to know right from wrong, so as long as no laws are broken you should have no concerns.

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

so...you're 15 dating a 18 year old, right? (or rather, wanting to)

 

[vxicepickxv]

Before engaging in any sexual acts, ensure that you are aware of all local age of consent laws. That's really the biggest deal. Depending on where you live, it might be 16 or 18, or whatever. I'm not too familiar with the laws.

 

[ToxicPiranah]

I say go for it, the age difference would be a concern as your under-age, but then in a couple of years it won't really matter

 

[SovietSecrets]

Doesn't matter at all that much. My friends and even my brother have been with older women before and each one of them for the most part said they enjoyed the time they spent. Just be sure no one finds out if you guys bang.

 

[Terminal Blue]

Emotionally, it sounds like you're on the same wavelength, so on that level it seems pretty cool to me. Depending on where you live she might have access to quite a different social world though in the form of bars/clubs/whatever. If she's not into that or you're cool with it though it shouldn't be an issue.

The only other issue I can see is that while there's nothing wrong with having sex at your ages, she'd be putting herself in a slightly compromising legal and social situation if the relationship did turn sexual. As long as she's aware of that and the requisite trust there, even that shouldn't be a problem.

 

[Zaverexus]

Go for it, although if the relationship gets sexual a few laws will be broken.

Just know that any sexuality is likely to break a law, depending where you live.

You are both old enough to know right from wrong, so as long as no laws are broken you should have no concerns.

Before engaging in any sexual acts, ensure that you are aware of all local age of consent laws. That's really the biggest deal. Depending on where you live, it might be 16 or 18, or whatever. I'm not too familiar with the laws.

The only other issue I can see is that while there's nothing wrong with having sex at your ages, she'd be putting herself in a slightly compromising legal and social situation if the relationship did turn sexual. As long as she's aware of that and the requisite trust there, even that shouldn't be a problem.

O.O Ah! I need to clarify here: I hadn't considered anything sexual, I know that would be legally (and morally?) messed up. Plus (as much BS as it may sound like) this is an entirely hypothetical situation. I was just wondering what people thought of the age gap, 95% chance I will not ask her out, just hypothetical food for thought.
Again, nothing sexual O.O

 

[BE4T]

Even so, life is too short so I highly suggest asking this woman out.

 

[euro2019]

I draw the line at 4 years as anything over that I believe is considered illegal if you're a minor. The question is, is she ok dating a guy 3 years younger. I remember when I was 17 I dated a girl who was 23 (KA-CHING! well..not really more like EGO BOOSTER! HELLO!) Lol and now that I look back I can't say I felt it as wrong but other people might of. It's all in the heart I suppose, but don't be surprised if people look at her funny. If you're both cool with it I can't see why not! Given that you're...at age of consent and you're not like.. 12 or 14 or something

 

[Zaverexus]

Even so, life is too short so I highly suggest asking this woman out.

Despite the seeming approval of the internet (great as you all are) the idea still seems ridiculous to me. I don't even have any idea if she is attracted to me or just really fun/cool/nice.

 

[BE4T]

Just do it. You never know unless you find out. Besides, theres noting to lose, but much to gain.

 

[Zaverexus]

O.O Ah! I need to clarify here: I hadn't considered anything sexual, I know that would be legally (and morally?) messed up. Plus (as much BS as it may sound like) this is an entirely hypothetical situation. I was just wondering what people thought of the age gap, 95% chance I will not ask her out, just hypothetical food for thought.
Again, nothing sexual O.O

You may have not, but she could. There's 2 people to consider, you know? Given shes older, it's possible she may want to do sexual things with you if you guys were to date. Just a probability you should be aware of. <3

I know what you mean, I just don't want this reported if someone jumps to the conclusion that I intend to break the law.
While I'm relatively certain she wouldn't be immediately interested in that, it is something I hadn't considered...

 

[Jonluw]

3 years isn't that much, though in the teenage years it's more than it is when you're older. Particularly if the maturities match up as you say. I know a girl at 17 who's dating a 22 year old (age of consent is 16 here though), and though I find it sort of weird, I don't really mind her dating someone older. I say go for it.

 

[Nova5]

My (now) wife is 3.5 years older than I am. We started dating when I was 17, moved in together after a year. It's been the happiest time of my life, so I would say it's not anything to be concerned about.