Poll: Have random people ever asked you to cheer up?

[manic_depressive13]

Every now and then I'll be walking down the street, minding my own business, when some random person will call out "Cheer up!" or "Smile". I always assumed this was because some people just couldn't mind their own fucking business, and that everyone experienced it occasionally. At least, pretty much all my female friends could relate to minding their own business only to be shocked out of their train of thought by someone telling them to cheer up. However, when I mentioned it to a few of my male friends, expecting to get the same knowing sighs of frustration, they just seemed confused and surprised.

So I thought I'd bring the question to a wider audience. Has a random stranger ever told you to "Smile" or "Cheer up"? Is it something you would ever say to someone? Or do you consider it incredibly rude?

 

[FPLOON]

Beside people that know me...

Spoiler: Prepare to be un-amazed!

Nope!

And, "surprise surprise", I've only done it a few times to random people myself, usually during those kinds of parties where only the host knows everyone, but you only know the host and the person you came with...

I actually like it when I do it to others more than when someone does it to me... Not because I don't like random encouragement, but because it makes me feel better knowing that someone was willing to accept the random encouragement from someone who doesn't even look like the "encouraging type" upon "first impression"...

 

[Colour Scientist]

Yupyup.

I've had "cheer up", smile, it might never happen" and "pretty girls shouldn't frown" or some variation of that.
Maybe my resting face just makes me look like a miserable fuck, I don't know.

I think it's rude and it really annoys me when it happens so I tend to just completely ignore the person.

 

[War Penguin]

From random strangers? No... no I don't believe anyone has told me that. I think that's because I live in Los Angeles and most people are kind of shaky and fearful when it comes to contact with strangers from the street, mainly because there are a fair share of homeless people and shady characters about that they don't want to deal with. Can't blame them to be honest.

Though I wouldn't mind if people would do that to me. I know I've walked down the streets feeling shitty at times. I try giving people passing by me a smile and a nod, but they just ignore me for the most part. I feel great from the few smiles I do get. I don't mind random compliments from strangers, but man that shit would make my day!

Now, if I were to do that, it might seem kind of weird. Maybe not rude, but definitely uncomfortable for the person involved. I'd only give them the smile and nod. Like I said, weird people in the city. Don't want them to think that weird people are coming up and talking to them.

 

[Nouw]

It baffles me when someone reacts negatively to someone telling them to smile or cheer up. Not just because smiling takes less effort and thought than building up negative thoughts based off that small interaction but because they have nothing but positive intentions.

A stranger goes out of their way to try and make you feel better, isn't that wonderful? They know nothing about you and chances are they've even seen you before, yet they offer some compassion. I don't know, maybe it's an 'adult' thing.

 

[feeback06]

Yeah I have, and it's usually when I have on my straight face. So apparently normality for me is misery in other people's eyes.

 

[Caiphus]

No, actually. I don't believe I have experienced that.

The last time a stranger talked to me was a homeless man asking for a light as I was waiting for the bus to my exam. But, no, can't remember a stranger ever telling me to cheer up.

 

[mecegirl]

Yupyup.

I've had "cheer up", smile, it might never happen" and "pretty girls shouldn't frown" or some variation of that.
Maybe my resting face just makes me look like a miserable fuck, I don't know.

I think it's rude and it really annoys me when it happens so I tend to just completely ignore the person.

Pretty much this. Most people's resting face looks a little grumpy, especially if they are thinking about something. It doesn't even have to be something difficult. I've been told to smile while thinking over my grocery list.

It is really annoying for two reasons in my experience. The first because most of the time I'm not even in a bad mood. I'm literally just minding my business. And when I am in a bad mood I see no reason why I should fake being happy for people that I do know, much less for someone I don't. The second is because you can tell that they only want you to smile for their benefit. The smile is always followed by some bullshit about how I'd look prettier, or how they dislike seeing a pretty girl frown. It's never about trying to brighten my day, and its always from guys that I don't know. I don't know if the experience is the same for when men get told to smile but its a pretty common occurrence for women.

It baffles me when someone reacts negatively to someone telling them to smile or cheer up. Not just because smiling takes less effort and thought than building up negative thoughts based off that small interaction but because they have nothing but positive intentions.

A stranger goes out of their way to try and make you feel better, isn't that wonderful? They know nothing about you and chances are they've even seen you before, yet they offer some compassion. I don't know, maybe it's an 'adult' thing.

This sums it up. http://www.ebony.com/news-views/when-i-stopped-asking-women-to-smile-981#axzz2lpl9GM1S

 

[Nouw]

It baffles me when someone reacts negatively to someone telling them to smile or cheer up. Not just because smiling takes less effort and thought than building up negative thoughts based off that small interaction but because they have nothing but positive intentions.

Not saying it takes the least amount of effort if that's what you mean.

Sorry, but it's not very good intentions if it's about making yourself feel better for telling someone to cheer up. If it doesn't make people tend to feel better then maybe you should stop if your actual intent is making people feel better.

If you actually want to help someone feel better you don't berate them for not appreciating you and what you did enough.

This makes me think. I mean, I'd be a liar if I said I didn't do some nice things because I know it'd be uplifting for me as well but I can't really control that. Can you? Should I then feel guilty for feeling this pleasure from what started from someone else's displeasure? Should I then completely disconnect myself when comforting others? I mean, in my mind I do it because I don't know what else I'd do if I believed it was the right thing to do. When I feel better myself, it's kind of a side-effect. Is it then a balancing act? You mention I should stop if it doesn't make people feel better if my intention is to make people feel better but then what if they do feel better? I don't believe we should assume that everyone is going to be annoyed.

I should mention I don't actually do this myself and my response was to the general consensus of people all over the internet but your response has helped me see things from a different light.

A stranger goes out of their way to try and make you feel better, isn't that wonderful? They know nothing about you and chances are they've even seen you before, yet they offer some compassion. I don't know, maybe it's an 'adult' thing.

Maybe they should put more thought into trying. Sometimes people don't want strangers bugging them. Sometimes people are not in fact upset and it's just annoying.

Personally I wouldn't bug someone if I thought they were upset, I don't know what's going on, I don't know if they're in a particular state they want a stranger talking to them. But then, maybe such considerations are an 'adult' thing.

Even though your last sentence is a bit biting, I see some truth in it. Not everyone is going to hold the same ideals and beliefs as me. Everyone's raised differently and everyone comes from a different culture so applying mine to everyone is pretty naive and arrogant I must admit. I guess it is a bit of an adult thing in that way.

As I mentioned before, how does one differentiate between the times they'd benefit from it and the times they wouldn't? Is the chance of them taking it the wrong way good enough reason to never bother? Or am I approaching this from the wrong way?

I could say I've been lead to believe that I should do the right thing but in real life there isn't really a 'right' thing is there? And telling someone to smile could end up being the very opposite of a compassionate act. Of course it could also actually make their day. Hm....

Help me out here man n_____n I'm also curious to know what your thoughts are on saying hello and random acts of 'kindness.'

This sums it up. http://www.ebony.com/news-views/when-i-stopped-asking-women-to-smile-981#axzz2lpl9GM1S

Thanks, this was really insightful. I wonder if there are any of these articles for men though . As in, telling men to smile.

 

[FalloutJack]

I generally don't need help in this department. Depression isn't a thing that I'm capable of.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I could say I've been lead to believe that I should do the right thing but in real life there isn't really a 'right' thing is there?

Er...yeah, there are some grey areas, but going up to random women and telling them not to look upset...yeah, that's not a good thing. That's someone bugging someone else for being a woman, and telling them they should feel (or act like they feel) a certain way...because.

 

[OneCatch]

Every now and then I'll be walking down the street, minding my own business, when some random person will call out "Cheer up!" or "Smile". I always assumed this was because some people just couldn't mind their own fucking business, and that everyone experienced it occasionally. At least, pretty much all my female friends could relate to minding their own business only to be shocked out of their train of thought by someone telling them to cheer up. However, when I mentioned it to a few of my male friends, expecting to get the same knowing sighs of frustration, they just seemed confused and surprised.

So I thought I'd bring the question to a wider audience. Has a random stranger ever told you to "Smile" or "Cheer up"? Is it something you would ever say to someone? Or do you consider it incredibly rude?

Yes, once or twice. But then my default expression is 'Slight Frown', even though I'm usually not in a bad mood.

I remember being mildly annoyed by it, but I'm pretty sure it was intended as cheerful, so I didn't actually take offence.
I'd probably never say it to anyone I didn't know unless I was actually trying to piss them off.

 

[Nouw]

I could say I've been lead to believe that I should do the right thing but in real life there isn't really a 'right' thing is there?

Er...yeah, there are some grey areas, but going up to random women and telling them not to look upset...yeah, that's not a good thing. That's someone bugging someone else for being a woman, and telling them they should feel (or act like they feel) a certain way...because.

Well what I have in my mind isn't exclusively for women, it's just telling someone you happen to come across that looks like they could be cheered up. I should have made this clear considering it seems to be something assumed in this thread and in other discussions as I've read.

Not that I even tell people to smile, I don't do it because...well shit I just realized why I don't. I'm afraid that I would have said it at the wrong time when they wouldn't appreciate someone saying that at all. Of course in my head it's far more selfish than that, I just don't want to be rejected. Same reason for not saying hi to strangers sometimes. I don't even believe what I preach, and I haven't even realized until now. Guess it's a non-issue then. How depressing.

 

[Strazdas]

no and anyone that does it should be smacked with a very lard cartoon trout.

really i know my coutnry is famouse for being home of grumpy cat smile (there is a comic strip of how grumpy cat comes to visit lithuania and sees that everyones expression is like his), and i heard that in some other countries you have strangers smile towards you adn even wish you a good day (concept completely alien to me) but this seems to be on borderline insanity. why would you go and tell people to "cheer up"?

 

[EeveeElectro]

Yes and it actually pisses me off more than anything else I can think of.
Just because I don't have a manic grin on my face doesn't mean I'm miserable.
How do you know what someone is thinking? If I'm thinking or bored my face just naturally sets into a very slight frown.

Saying 'cheer up it might not happen!' makes me wanna punch the person who said it. How do you know something shit hasn't already happened?
It makes you look ignorant and insensitive.

Honestly if you've told someone to cheer up, I'd go as far as to say you're a terrible and need to learn a bit more about different people.
It is NOT a switch and as easy as you think!

Bear in mind that person could be suffering from depression and they can't can't control it.

Next time, try quietly asking if they feel okay and if they need a chat if you MUST make a comment on it.

 

[Kae]

It happens all the time, I normally try to smile back at people when they do that but I seem to be incapable of that considering people think I'm angry at them when I think I'm laughing, I mean I'm pretty sure I'm feeling happy and making the noise that goes along with it but people seem to think I'm angry so whatever, I guess it's pretty much impossible for me to look happy, it's pretty annoying to be honest, I mean I get it I look upset but it'd be nice if people stopped pointing it out, sometimes I actually feel super happy and having people point out that I look upset makes me upset so it'd be nice if they'd stopped it, not my fault my face is permanently stuck somewhere between miserable bastard and "I'm going to kill you if you so much as look in my general direction".

Oddly enough though people love to tell me everything that upsets them, which is kinda majorly annoying, seriously miss waitress I really don't give a shit about your manager charging you for leaving meat outside the fridge and it going bad and NO, Mr. Manager I don't want to hear your side of the story either, random girl in the bus stop I really don't give a fuck that your boyfriend is cheating on you, so can you all just shut the fuck up and let me go about my business?!
I mean seriously I don't even talk, what the hell is it that triggers these conversations in the first place?
It's like the entire world has formed a conspiracy just to annoy me.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

Once, I took it in the spirit it was meant.

 

[piinyouri]

I get it fairly often. My neutral face shape resembles a frown, so unless I'm actively smiling, everyone always assumes I'm mad.

Quite honestly it kind of ticks me off when people say it. If I do happen to be in a genuinely bad mood, who are you to not let me enjoy it?