I've only ever asked someone to smile once while I was smiling, and that was the effect I was hoping for, not to please me, as I was walking away a second later.Jenvas1306 said:
Poll: Have random people ever asked you to cheer up?
- Thread starter manic_depressive13
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Im a guy, and I've been told to cheer up, smile, etc. But it's usually buy a random nice old lady just being a nice old lady. I must live under a rock though, because I never knew that "cheer up" or "put a smile on your face" were common pickup lines. learn something new every day i suppose
Nope, and likely never will. I live in a country where saying that to a random person can really get you labeled as a weirdo. Plus I'm 1 m 84 cm tall and quite heavily built, meaning that someone will think twice before saying anything to me when I'm looking grumpy.
Once I got told "Cheer up kid, its only hair it'll grow back" while I was feeling glum totally unrelated to my hair, caused me to feel even more like shit.
This has rarely happened, but usually it ends up with someone annoying me by disturbing the thoughts I was lost in. By the time I've snapped back to the present and realised that all they had to say was something like "Good morning" or "Cheer up!" or something equally vapid and banal, I have to struggle not to follow the example of this man:
Luckily, people around where I live don't usually talk to strangers at all, because it's not worth the trouble - they could be a dangerous lunatic. "Have a nice day!" "WELL I F**KING WILL WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT!"
Luckily, people around where I live don't usually talk to strangers at all, because it's not worth the trouble - they could be a dangerous lunatic. "Have a nice day!" "WELL I F**KING WILL WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT!"
A stranger doesn't know what I'm thinking. Maybe I'm just deep in thought, maybe something legitimately bad has happened to me.Nouw said:
All that stranger is basing their opinion on is the way I look.
Telling me to smile or 'cheer up' is unhelpful, condescending and focusing on superficial things.
It's a different thing if someone looks like they could use help.
But telling someone to try pretend being happy so you will feel better isn't helping.
Only once but I'm English, we aren't very out going ... some are out going but we just call them annoying.
I hate it for the fact it's just so ... insubstantial, like just by the power of a complete stranger saying "cheer up" will suddenly remove all my worry, stress, heartache, pain etc and put a nice big smile on my face!
"A family member just died but that guy just told me to cheer up and by the nines, I feel great!"
I hate it for the fact it's just so ... insubstantial, like just by the power of a complete stranger saying "cheer up" will suddenly remove all my worry, stress, heartache, pain etc and put a nice big smile on my face!
"A family member just died but that guy just told me to cheer up and by the nines, I feel great!"
A couple times. My default face is a frown that shrieks "I'M JUDGING THE HELL OUT OF ALL OF YOU", even though I'm usually just daydreaming.
Usually, people are afraid to, because apparently, people my size will freaking kill you if you annoy them. So I've had people look at my face, open their mouth, and then look away. Maybe they were going to tell me to cheer up, maybe they were going to whisper a voodoo chant. I dunno.
Usually, people are afraid to, because apparently, people my size will freaking kill you if you annoy them. So I've had people look at my face, open their mouth, and then look away. Maybe they were going to tell me to cheer up, maybe they were going to whisper a voodoo chant. I dunno.
Happened to me today actually. I was walking home and a little, white-bearded black man passed me the other way, smiled and said: 'Cheer up, sister!' Never met the man before in my life, probably never will again, and I hadn't even realised I was in a bad mood, but it worked! It's nice to know people want to pass on good feelings.
'Smile, it might never happen' is one of the most irritating things a person can say though. It's just patronising.
'Smile, it might never happen' is one of the most irritating things a person can say though. It's just patronising.
Yes. From a little girl. I was on the train, and she said, word for word, "It's my dog's birthday today, so don't be sad." I wasn't sad, but I burst out laughing. And yet her face was completely serious.
captcha: near Tannhauser gate
If the concentration camp has sandwiches, I don't care.
Now that I think about it, a disabled Sikh guy once told me that I should cheer up, because I looked sad. I looked at him, and smiled back, then his carer wheeled him away. It was weird, and I didn't think there are any indication that I was sad. Or he was high out of his mind on funny gas an an annoyed sibling was wheeling him home.
captcha: near Tannhauser gate
If the concentration camp has sandwiches, I don't care.
Now that I think about it, a disabled Sikh guy once told me that I should cheer up, because I looked sad. I looked at him, and smiled back, then his carer wheeled him away. It was weird, and I didn't think there are any indication that I was sad. Or he was high out of his mind on funny gas an an annoyed sibling was wheeling him home.
When I worked retail, I got that comment all the time, because my face is naturally frowny, especially post stroke... and because when I smile, I can only go full on Joker, so I usually don't bother.
There's a saying I heard once and took to heart: "Behind every smile, there are teeth," So, when I smile, I just put my teeth on display... usually shuts people up.
There's a saying I heard once and took to heart: "Behind every smile, there are teeth," So, when I smile, I just put my teeth on display... usually shuts people up.
Male and yes, it's happened before.
I guess a smile doesn't come easily to me even especially when i'm just in a neutral or pensive mood.
Heck when I'm at a social event I force myself to smile but find it sooo hard, and people end up thinking I'm rude as my facial expressions changes over the course of a 20 minute or so conversation. Fortunately i'm good enough at chatting that people know i'm not bored talking to them or anything (at least i hope!).
To give another example I remember being at a festival and sitting down at one point outside a tent to enjoy the music before a bunch of peeps hassled me about cheering me up and how i needed to get into the party groove. I just smiled meekly till they went away.
Things like that are why I haven't tried going to festivals again, I guess I'm not the right kinda person for them.
So yeah I don't think this is something that's really gender exclusive but more to do with social awkwardness.
I guess a smile doesn't come easily to me even especially when i'm just in a neutral or pensive mood.
Heck when I'm at a social event I force myself to smile but find it sooo hard, and people end up thinking I'm rude as my facial expressions changes over the course of a 20 minute or so conversation. Fortunately i'm good enough at chatting that people know i'm not bored talking to them or anything (at least i hope!).
To give another example I remember being at a festival and sitting down at one point outside a tent to enjoy the music before a bunch of peeps hassled me about cheering me up and how i needed to get into the party groove. I just smiled meekly till they went away.
Things like that are why I haven't tried going to festivals again, I guess I'm not the right kinda person for them.
So yeah I don't think this is something that's really gender exclusive but more to do with social awkwardness.
Well, considering that the picture to my left IS my normal face, no, nobody ever tells me to cheer up because they're afraid of what I might do. It's all well and good. I normally limit my regular social interaction to a series of purchases/services with no smalltalk to whomever's at the register.
I don't remember having it happen, I only seem to get interrupted by people trying to raise funds for charities, spread the word of their religion (that was only once though, or beggars. Maybe it's because after some practice my neutral face doesn't look so concerned about something, or maybe it's because if I ever meet eyes with someone I make it a point to smile and nod in acknowledgment of their existence.manic_depressive13 said:
I wouldn't consider it rude, since I appreciate the sentiment, but it's not something I would say to someone out of the blue. I imagine most of the time it's either something where little I can say will help at all, or perhaps the person isn't even sad/mad about something and has one of those neutral faces that just looks that way.
I think I'd only do it if it were someone I was at least an acquainted with and if it were something fairly minor: say, its nearly a holiday break, but there's a lot of homework/school work/big test between now and then and a classmate is stressing about it.
Do you have pictures? That sounds pretty sweet.CelestDaer said:
Also reminds me: the photographers for my primary school photos insisted we all show our teeth, but when I show mine it looks either really fake, or like the dentist is holding open my mouth to examine and clean my teeth easier. Took 'em 8 years of photos to realize I can't open my mouth when I smile without it looking absolutely awful if not downright creepy.
I have people tell me to cheer up or ask if I'm sick whenever I'm tired. Is it really that strange to put your head down?
I also had another guy tell me to cheer up when I was pissed I had to drive through a blizzard to math class, I cheered up for about 10 seconds before I reached the door, then I pissed I had to deal with math.
I also had another guy tell me to cheer up when I was pissed I had to drive through a blizzard to math class, I cheered up for about 10 seconds before I reached the door, then I pissed I had to deal with math.
I have gotten all those and when I refuse to smile I get "well you are just an ugly ***** anyway" it's skill just street harassment.Colour Scientist said:
Funny. every time I go out to LA I always get at least one asshole who does that. And at least one who tries to pick me up like I am a hooker. And before the issue of my clothes comes into play, baggy tshirts and jeans and converse. It's why I avoid the place except in rare occasions like this weekend where I am getting paid to be there (dog and house sitting).War Penguin said:
OT: it happens on average more to women then men. Because if a woman is smiling she is more approachable. I tend to tell anyone who tells me to smile to go fuck themselves. People steer clear of me then. And I growl like my dog does at them when she feels threatened. ...
Yes, and it's bloody annoying. Look, random person, you don't know me. I might have just had something horrible happen to me. I am not going to cheer up because of your empty comment you make in passing. The other, and much more common scenario is that I'm perfectly happy, but I don't go around smiling like a moron. I guess I must look really glum even when I'm in a wonderful mood, because this happens about once every two weeks for me, including, about a month ago, on what I had bare minutes before told my friend was "the best day I've had in years".
Can't say I've had that happen to me at all, at least with random people. Those around me, the other soldiers in the company know it's pointless to even bother saying it to me. Mostly because they say I walk around looking like grumpy cat most of the time and because my general response is to tell them off in various and interesting ways, although at this point I'm recycling the comments because my brain is just fried from the bs of day to day life here.
Not from strangers nope. I have mastered the art of the neutral public mask.
Being unhappy in my house growing up was a crime so yeah, I learned quick.
If anyone said that to me in public I'd take it as them being offended by my personal feelings, which are none of their business and certainly not for them to be offended by, and I would be enraged and upset for a long long time after.
Don't do it people, just don't. Mind your own business and get some social sense and real empathy, not flying squirrel-girl empathy.
Being unhappy in my house growing up was a crime so yeah, I learned quick.
If anyone said that to me in public I'd take it as them being offended by my personal feelings, which are none of their business and certainly not for them to be offended by, and I would be enraged and upset for a long long time after.
Don't do it people, just don't. Mind your own business and get some social sense and real empathy, not flying squirrel-girl empathy.
Yes. All the time.
Unless the situation is an emergency and/or leads to potential harm ("Watch out for the open manhole!" "Don't touch that, it's hot!" "Call 911!"), you shouldn't tell strangers what to do. It's a sign of basic respect. When a stranger tells you to smile, they are nonverbally communicating to you that they have absolutely no respect whatsoever for you.
You forget the part where this stranger, so full of compassion, feels entitled to tell you how to present yourself despite not knowing you at all. This wonderful compassion and positivity come with the arrogance of presuming they know how to live your life better than you do.Nouw said:
Unless the situation is an emergency and/or leads to potential harm ("Watch out for the open manhole!" "Don't touch that, it's hot!" "Call 911!"), you shouldn't tell strangers what to do. It's a sign of basic respect. When a stranger tells you to smile, they are nonverbally communicating to you that they have absolutely no respect whatsoever for you.