Yes! Some girl walked up to me during my graduation trip and in all kindness told me to enjoy the moment, then walked away. Much obliged.
Poll: Have random people ever asked you to cheer up?
- Thread starter manic_depressive13
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I don't think anyone has ever told me to cheer up, and I'm pretty sure I haven't done it to anyone else. The closest I can think of was a few days ago, when I happened to pass a stranger on a bridge. He was looking down at the river beneath us, and his expression was so serious that I asked if he was all right.
"I'm good!" he said, and immediately started smiling. "Just enjoying being outside!"
We both laughed and went on our merry ways. This, I think, demonstrates that telling people to cheer up is kind of pointless. We have no idea what a random stranger is thinking. They might be having a wonderful afternoon, or enjoying a splendid daydream. Best to leave them to it, I feel.
"I'm good!" he said, and immediately started smiling. "Just enjoying being outside!"
We both laughed and went on our merry ways. This, I think, demonstrates that telling people to cheer up is kind of pointless. We have no idea what a random stranger is thinking. They might be having a wonderful afternoon, or enjoying a splendid daydream. Best to leave them to it, I feel.
Yep, a number of times. A lot when I was high school but less so in university where people generally are too busy doing their own thing and mind their own business. I think my bored and daydreaming face looks sad because most of time I'm not actually feeling depressed. It's a little annoying but I guess they are trying to be nice so I try and be nice back. Most of the time anyway, occasionally it comes across as mock or command.
I tend not to smile unless I'm actually talking to someone which leads to "but when you're walking around you never seem to be smiling!". Because...I'm just going to a place and/or thinking? I have nothing to smile at. Even if I am upset 9 times out of 10 I would just want people to leave me alone and feel shamed if it was pointed out that I look upset, especially by a stranger or acquaintance.
People also seem to take reading a book as depressed. As if the only reason I would be reading is because I'm avoiding people due to being upset? instead of just liking reading and not being particularly social.
I did have a nice old couple come talk to me on he train once to cheer me up which actually was appreciated because I rather spooked and upset (and pretty obviously so) at the time and they didn't just tell me to cheer up and walk off as if that is going to do something.
The closest I ever done to that with stranger was asking someone looking nervous at buss stop at night whether they were alright. She just didn't like standing there by herself and since I was waiting on a place nearby to finish making my order I could wait with her.
I also have people think I'm not enthusiastic about stuff when I am. I just don't really show it often I guess. I have force myself to "act enthusiastic" so I'm not a downer.
I tend not to smile unless I'm actually talking to someone which leads to "but when you're walking around you never seem to be smiling!". Because...I'm just going to a place and/or thinking? I have nothing to smile at. Even if I am upset 9 times out of 10 I would just want people to leave me alone and feel shamed if it was pointed out that I look upset, especially by a stranger or acquaintance.
People also seem to take reading a book as depressed. As if the only reason I would be reading is because I'm avoiding people due to being upset? instead of just liking reading and not being particularly social.
I did have a nice old couple come talk to me on he train once to cheer me up which actually was appreciated because I rather spooked and upset (and pretty obviously so) at the time and they didn't just tell me to cheer up and walk off as if that is going to do something.
The closest I ever done to that with stranger was asking someone looking nervous at buss stop at night whether they were alright. She just didn't like standing there by herself and since I was waiting on a place nearby to finish making my order I could wait with her.
I also have people think I'm not enthusiastic about stuff when I am. I just don't really show it often I guess. I have force myself to "act enthusiastic" so I'm not a downer.
Not only has this happened, but I've been in a relationship with a guy that asked me to smile for the past 17 years.
Yep, happens far more often then I'm comfortable with. I never really understood the attitude behind that until one day a work colleague started complaining to me about depressed looking people coming in and saying something along the lines of "people should smile when they come in here, this is a happy place and they're getting me down." They were getting him down, simply by letting their own feelings show (or just having grumpy-looking neutral faces like mine). Some people are downright proprietorial about the people around them.
On one memorable occasion, I was casually exiting a restaraunt bathroom when a some bloke shouted across the foyer "Jeez, you must have had a difficult one." Good old-fashioned embarrassment kept me from acknowledging him which is just as well, I've heard prison can be unpleasant.
Still, maybe we should reach out to people more. I once saw a woman silently crying on the bus home and did nothing to try and comfort her or ask her if she was alright, because I was embarrassed and didn't know how to help. Whatever my reasons, I'm ashamed that I couldn't bring myself to offer some form of help to someone in need.
On one memorable occasion, I was casually exiting a restaraunt bathroom when a some bloke shouted across the foyer "Jeez, you must have had a difficult one." Good old-fashioned embarrassment kept me from acknowledging him which is just as well, I've heard prison can be unpleasant.
Still, maybe we should reach out to people more. I once saw a woman silently crying on the bus home and did nothing to try and comfort her or ask her if she was alright, because I was embarrassed and didn't know how to help. Whatever my reasons, I'm ashamed that I couldn't bring myself to offer some form of help to someone in need.
It always seems to me that the people who say this are bothered that people don't smile all the time like idiots, and comes off as insincere, like a more presumptive version of greeting someone with "how are you?"Nouw said:
If I were visibly sad at the time, I could understand it (though one might appreciate it more if they asked what the matter was before saying "cheer up"), but the problem is that the few times someone has told me I needed to cheer up, I was just minding my own business with a straight face.
Nope, which might be pretty odd. My relaxed face is pretty aggressive. I live in Stockholm though. Like any major city we've made casual ignoring an art.
The only thing strangers say to me is either compliments to my hair(ass long, wavy, dark brown/red sexy hair <3) or they claim to know me. Apparently someone in my close area looks identical to me.
The only thing strangers say to me is either compliments to my hair(ass long, wavy, dark brown/red sexy hair <3) or they claim to know me. Apparently someone in my close area looks identical to me.
I am female, and therefore it is a GREIVOUS INSULT TO SOCIETY for me to be anything less than a sparkly object of supreme happiness.
Fucking gag me. Hey instead of TELLING me to smile, maybe instead... ask me what's the matter? Actually DO something to make me WANT to smile? I mean, I'd rather you didn't, because I'm an introvert and forced interaction with others (especially strangers) pains me, but it's a lot better than going "SMILE" like a goddamn drill sergeant.
My face at rest naturally is either "bland", or looks like I'm concentrating (I often am, cooking up various character and story plotsthat never see the light of day because I'm lazy). I'm not unhappy, that's just how my face is, I only smile when I've either thought up something I find particularly amusing or if I'm with close friends that I'm comfortable with.
Edit: Oh fuck I'm at the top of a page. God damn it all.
Fucking gag me. Hey instead of TELLING me to smile, maybe instead... ask me what's the matter? Actually DO something to make me WANT to smile? I mean, I'd rather you didn't, because I'm an introvert and forced interaction with others (especially strangers) pains me, but it's a lot better than going "SMILE" like a goddamn drill sergeant.
My face at rest naturally is either "bland", or looks like I'm concentrating (I often am, cooking up various character and story plots
Edit: Oh fuck I'm at the top of a page. God damn it all.
Well, if you interpret it in such a negative way, then yes, it could be quite the unpleasant experience.Phasmal said:
Why not interpret it as a person coming up to you going "I've noticed that you look kind of down, cheer up, it isn't all that bad", as in a person trying to be supportive instead of a person who is trying to force their will onto you.
A well, in the end, the world is what you make of it and everyone has their own outlook on life.
Well..this year I've been on a pattern leading to a nervous breakdown of epic proportions?which lead me to a nervous breakdown. So?Yeah. It's probably in my top 5 sentences that I've heard the most recently.
Good news, things are getting better.
Good news, things are getting better.
It's not always true that these people have good intentions. I recall having 'Cheer up', or something similar, shouted at me from a safe distance in a tone of voice that implied quite the opposite intention, followed by derisive sniggering among the shouter and their group of friends, as if at some unspoken in-joke at my expense.Nouw said:
Even in the best case scenario I wouldn't like it.
If I'm in a bad mood, simply informing me that you would rather I not be, or at least that I put on the pretence of happiness through smiling, is not going to make me feel any more inclined or able to do so. If anything it will remind me of what a bad mood I'm in and will only serve to reinforce it.
If I'm not in a bad mood, I'm probably going to be in a worse one for you telling me that I look miserable when I'm not and putting me in the mildly stressful situation of having to interact with a stranger who has immediately demonstrated an inability to read my body language, while simultaneously violating my precious bubble of isolation in a tactless expression of throwaway sentiment...
I never knew this was a thing! People are more willing to compliment something about me than to say "cheer up." I can understand women encountering this more as some kind of weird pick up line from guys.
Yes, every once in a while, and I can join those who claim it as an annoying request.
I tend to show little in the way of emotion, but if I have reason to smile, I will. If I do not I will not, it is that simple. I see no reason to fake emotions for someone else's sake.
I tend to show little in the way of emotion, but if I have reason to smile, I will. If I do not I will not, it is that simple. I see no reason to fake emotions for someone else's sake.
Never happened to me, but I have poked someone who had an oddly sad looking face and asked them what's wrong, you know, like a normal person, or maybe even try to cheer them up rather than throw demands at them and hope they stick, like a NICE person, I would pay to see the guy or gal who says it to someone who just got back from a tough funeral, you DARE tell them to smile when shit has gotten difficult to get through and you will see a thing of beauty.
Evil Moo said:
frizzlebyte said:
Darken12 said:
I have read all of your responses and I appreciate you all taking the time to help me understand something I've been admittedly childish about. I'm not going to write a individual response because I'm fatigued from replying to Master of the Skies and thaluikhain. You'll see my response to them a bit below where they quoted me, I'm not sure whether you have read it. In any case, this has been a very eye-opening experience for me. Thank you n________nLieju said:
I've had it happen, once or twice. Both times in a nightclub, actually.
I don't like nightclubs. Probably doesn't help that I have a pretty sullen face unless I'm actively smiling though.
I don't like nightclubs. Probably doesn't help that I have a pretty sullen face unless I'm actively smiling though.
