Poll: How do I get back with my ex?

[Sharkeyes]

Ok, so me and this girl dated for about a month and broke up. Well, I've been hearing from her friends that she wishes she hadn't and I'd like to get back with her. However, I don't want another month long countdown to another shitstorm.

This is my theory as to why we broke up. When we started dating, I was acting all hardcore military (I'm in JROTC, so we got a reputation at my school) and she's a really goody goody girl, so I think she liked me for being all crazy. Well, I started acting all proper and a week later, we broke up. Does that sound like it might be right? My plan right now is to go back to being a military hardass around her again.

 

[Phasmal]

So wait your plan is to pretend to be somebody else while you are around her? That doesnt seem like a very good plan to me. Its better to act like yourself and if she doesnt like that then forget about her.

Yeah, pretty much this.

You couldn't keep it up forever and she'd like you for someone who isn't really you. So, just find someone who likes you for you.

 

[Frost27]

If she wants to get back together and you want to get back together, I don't see the problem. Just pick up the phone. Overcomplicating things or waiting too long/beating around the bush will just guarantee it will never work.

Edit: And be yourself instead of any overstuffed macho douchery.

 

[Luke3184]

.....I don't even

Okay kids let's sit down with uncle Luke and talk about RELATIONSHIPS! (Please read RELATIONSHIPS as if you're a demon overlord who's both evil but also ridiculously camp)

Now, what happens when you base a relationship off of a lie I.E pretending to be be somebody you're not? Yes Timmy?

You don't hold it up forever, she discovers the real you and decides she doesn't like it.The result is bitterness all around.

Well done Timmy, gold star for you. Now let's look at the characteristics of the people involved! Now what happens when you introduce the sheltered goody-goody type girl to a macho "hardass"? (Please note the finger quotes, anybody who needs to try to come across as a "hardass" is not. They're generally either kids who want to be gangsters, or people with some real self confidence issue)

She gets a kick out of dating a bad boy, despite knowing deep down he's a fake, because she sees it as rebelling against her lifestyle.

Wow Timmy you're on fire today! So class list it off for me what we have learnt.

1) She was attracted to your persona and not you
2) The discovery of this persona will cause resentment
3) Getting back with an ex who broke up with you because, and I quote, 'I started acting all proper and a week later, we broke up' is a bad idea. In every situation.
4) Acting like a dick, whether you are deep down or not, makes you a dick
5) This relationship will not work, move on to somebody who likes you, not the idea of who you pretend to be

Now off you go kids, it's playtime!

 

[bdcjacko]

You don't. You just move on. You were only dating for a month. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. It isn't worth it to play petty little revenge games. It just makes the healing process that much longer.

 

[NegaWiki]

Wait, she liked you when you acted normally, she broke up with you when you faked it, she regrets breaking up with you when you faked it?
Wait for her to get her priorities straight.

 

[King Largo]

Listen to Luke, Frost, Phasmal and Satsuki. Specifically Luke.

I've never understood the idea of getting back together with somebody. That's like intentionally getting chlamydia twice, because you think things will be different the second time around.

 

[MaxwellEdison]

What?

Get with someone who likes who you are, stop wearing personalities like clothes, and get over a one month relationship that doesn't matter in the long term.

 

[Sharkeyes]

So wait your plan is to pretend to be somebody else while you are around her? That doesnt seem like a very good plan to me. Its better to act like yourself and if she doesnt like that then forget about her.

I started acting proper and THAT wasn't me. I AM a military hardass.

 

[holy_secret]

.....I don't even

Okay kids let's sit down with uncle Luke and talk about RELATIONSHIPS! (Please read RELATIONSHIPS as if you're a demon overlord who's both evil but also ridiculously camp)

Now, what happens when you base a relationship off of a lie I.E pretending to be be somebody you're not? Yes Timmy?

You don't hold it up forever, she discovers the real you and decides she doesn't like it.The result is bitterness all around.

Well done Timmy, gold star for you. Now let's look at the characteristics of the people involved! Now what happens when you introduce the sheltered goody-goody type girl to a macho "hardass"? (Please note the finger quotes, anybody who needs to try to come across as a "hardass" is not. They're generally either kids who want to be gangsters, or people with some real self confidence issue)

She gets a kick out of dating a bad boy, despite knowing deep down he's a fake, because she sees it as rebelling against her lifestyle.

Wow Timmy you're on fire today! So class list it off for me what we have learnt.

1) She was attracted to your persona and not you
2) The discovery of this persona will cause resentment
3) Getting back with an ex who broke up with you because, and I quote, 'I started acting all proper and a week later, we broke up' is a bad idea. In every situation.
4) Acting like a dick, whether you are deep down or not, makes you a dick
5) This relationship will not work, move on to somebody who likes you, not the idea of who you pretend to be

Now off you go kids, it's playtime!

You're funny and informative at the same time.

You'd make a great teacher.

 

[isometry]

Haha, "be yourself" is terrible relationship advice. That's just a corny message from TV and movies!

I started acting proper and THAT wasn't me. I AM a military hardass.

Common reasons for a break up in this case would be bad sex, treating her too well / coming on too strong (boring), or most likely she probably just "wacked out" and had no good reason at all, based on her regretting the decision.

If she just wacked out, it's up to you whether you want to put up with that, since it's likely to recur (maybe not full on break ups, but other bad decisions). On the otherhand maybe the "acting proper" thing amounted to treating her too well, in which case you should restart things off slow and keep your cool this time. Lastly, if the sex was bad (it probably was, since otherwise you would have to have been really bad for her to leave) then start an abdominal workout routine and read some guides.

 

[Jubbert]

So wait your plan is to pretend to be somebody else while you are around her? That doesnt seem like a very good plan to me. Its better to act like yourself and if she doesnt like that then forget about her.

I started acting proper and THAT wasn't me. I AM a military hardass.

You stay away from that innocent young girl.

Kidding, hell I dunno. Call her, talk to her, see if she's still interested, blah blah blah, do whatever you want.

 

[ks1234]

So wait your plan is to pretend to be somebody else while you are around her? That doesnt seem like a very good plan to me. Its better to act like yourself and if she doesnt like that then forget about her.

I started acting proper and THAT wasn't me. I AM a military hardass.

No you're not... you're in JROTC... YOU ARE NOT IN THE GODDAMN MILITARY, you're only half assed pretending to be... stop acting like you're some kind-of badass before you act like a badass to the wrong person and they smack the shit out of and make you feel like a little *****.

 

[Luke3184]

.....I don't even

Okay kids let's sit down with uncle Luke and talk about RELATIONSHIPS! (Please read RELATIONSHIPS as if you're a demon overlord who's both evil but also ridiculously camp)

Now, what happens when you base a relationship off of a lie I.E pretending to be be somebody you're not? Yes Timmy?

You don't hold it up forever, she discovers the real you and decides she doesn't like it.The result is bitterness all around.

Well done Timmy, gold star for you. Now let's look at the characteristics of the people involved! Now what happens when you introduce the sheltered goody-goody type girl to a macho "hardass"? (Please note the finger quotes, anybody who needs to try to come across as a "hardass" is not. They're generally either kids who want to be gangsters, or people with some real self confidence issue)

She gets a kick out of dating a bad boy, despite knowing deep down he's a fake, because she sees it as rebelling against her lifestyle.

Wow Timmy you're on fire today! So class list it off for me what we have learnt.

1) She was attracted to your persona and not you
2) The discovery of this persona will cause resentment
3) Getting back with an ex who broke up with you because, and I quote, 'I started acting all proper and a week later, we broke up' is a bad idea. In every situation.
4) Acting like a dick, whether you are deep down or not, makes you a dick
5) This relationship will not work, move on to somebody who likes you, not the idea of who you pretend to be

Now off you go kids, it's playtime!

You're funny and informative at the same time.

You'd make a great teacher.

Why thank you, I actually want to go on to teach some day.

 

[Luke3184]

Ignore

 

[Luke3184]

So wait your plan is to pretend to be somebody else while you are around her? That doesnt seem like a very good plan to me. Its better to act like yourself and if she doesnt like that then forget about her.

I started acting proper and THAT wasn't me. I AM a military hardass.

You did not just say that... Go sit in the corner, re-read the part of my post that applies here and think about what you've done!

 

[DannyBandicoot]

Don't let them girls be changing' you. You are a special snowflake and should never change for no woman or man or bat-slug.
Be yourself because in the end that is all you can be.



;-(

 

[Susan Arendt]

So wait your plan is to pretend to be somebody else while you are around her? That doesnt seem like a very good plan to me. Its better to act like yourself and if she doesnt like that then forget about her.

I started acting proper and THAT wasn't me. I AM a military hardass.

And her reaction wasn't to talk to you about it, but rather go running? And, now that she regrets the decision, she still isn't talking to you? This girl avoids conflict like I avoid bees. That will cause you no end of headaches in the long run. For a relationship to work, both sides need to be willing to discuss uncomfortable things - not go running at the first sign of discord.