Poll: How often do you masturbate?!

[geK0]

Is this a bad sample?

It's a male dominated gaming forum, so I'd say the results are extremely skewed in favor of daily masturbation.

I'm a little surprised by the girls answers here though, I always figured you guys masturbated less often than us.

 

[Xan Krieger]

I'm a 25-year old virgin posting on a message board about video games.

Take a guess.

Spoiler

...what am I doing with my life...

*notices pony avatar* ...mother of god

Yes, yes, I'm the personal embodiment of every stereotype everyone has about that show's fandom.

And yes, I hate myself for it.

If it's any consolation, I'm also a 25 year old virgin posting on a message board about video games. Just without the pony avatar.

We should start a club.

Can I join? I'm nearing 30 though, is that a problem?

24 here and also a MLP fan, let me join.

At least once a day, if I don't do that I get angry so I guess I just need to get it out.

 

[Alcamonic]

I sharpen my sword at least once a week. Usually keeps my body from having wet dreams, screw you biological meatsack!

What I think About?
Well, if you must know... *que erotic novel*

 

[username sucks]

Spoiler: My habits

I wank multiple times a day, usually. Since I got a boyfriend, I've actually been masturbating far more often, because it is very rare that we have the privacy to do the sexy times together. I have to let out that sexual frustration somehow!

I can easily get by with just my imagination, but why would I when the internet exists?

I do it every night in bed, but the other 1-4 times in a day can be at any time, really.

I only do it at home. I once did broadcast it online to a bunch of people on a site dedicated to that kind of thing, though.

I could think of some kind of euphemism, but I'll just be straightforward and say that I think of gay sex.

I could lie and say that I'm shy or have no idea why I'm posting this, but honestly I just feel some strange sense of satisfaction from threads like this. No shame!

 

[geK0]

I once did broadcast it online to a bunch of people on a site dedicated to that kind of thing, though.

Was it Omegle?

 

[username sucks]

I once did broadcast it online to a bunch of people on a site dedicated to that kind of thing, though.

Was it Omegle?

Believe it or not, that was not the intended purpose of Omegle. So wrong answer, try again. I would say it, but I know if I'm allowed to talk about porn sites.

 

[COMaestro]

There was a time in my life where I would go at it at least once a day, sometimes more. And it would take very little mental stimulation to get me in the mood. A section of a book, a sex scene in a movie, some porn or erotica online, BOOM ready to go. For a while I was even participating in cyber sex, which was fantastic when you had the right person.

The frequency has gone down a lot over the years, I probably average about once a week at this point, with just my imagination, either remembering past events or just fantasizing about things. Partially because I have a wife now and can actually have sex with someone when aroused, but also because I have very young kids and am just constantly tired. I think Jeff Foxworthy put it best with his bit about the difference between single people and married people with kids. "When you're single and you are given the choice between sleep and sex, you'll take sex every time. When you're married and have kids, you take the sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex." It's so very true...

EDIT: Oh, and I have done my business in a few unorthodox places, including the car (both driving and parked), some rest rooms while out and about, and others that I'm not willing to disclose.

 

[Reasonable Atheist]

The female orgasm is so awesome I'm surprised we don't go around masturbating constantly.

I find myself in a permanent state of being jealous of my significant other's earth shattering and obviously superior orgasms. Equality for the genders will never happen, we men cannot catch up to that kind of quality of life!

 

[Elvis Starburst]

Once a day normally, but it can go up to twice. I'm not ashamed. It's damn near a routine part of my day (But the time can vary). Though, finding good porn is hard these days >3> Not any of that fake stuff, some actual believable stuff. Oh well~

 

[The White Hunter]

Snip

I insist good sir that you use the appropriate League formatting for such threads.

OT: Sometimes. depends on external factors. Frequently would be a more appropriate answer.

 

[Euryalus]

Snip

I insist good sir that you use the appropriate League formatting for such threads.

OT: Sometimes. depends on external factors. Frequently would be a more appropriate answer.

Did we ever save the new Injustice league formatting? I can't remember if me and Jojo ever rolled it out... Although speaking of that we need to stockpile ideas and bring back the bastard interrogations xD

 

[Story]

You know my first reaction to this topic was... '
Then as I read I went... :'D

So okay, I'll say it.
I probably do it a few times a month right around the time "I'm ripe" I guess. You know, before and after my gift from Flo.
Yes, I'm female.

I'm pretty prudish and, being asexual, I don't get going with porn. I kinda just use my imagination.
Yeah, that's gotta be more information than you wanted. But I rarely get to talk about this stuff.

 

[COMaestro]

Did anyone else get slightly aroused by reading about everyone's self pleasuring habits? Come on, show of hands!

Umm, wash them first though, okay?

 

[klaynexas3]

Generally multiple times a day, if given the opportunity. Once before sleep always, maybe a few times if I have the time.

I don't have any sexual partners, so I have to keep myself busy somehow

 

[geK0]

Generally multiple times a day, if given the opportunity. Once before sleep always, maybe a few times if I have the time.

I don't have any sexual partners, so I have to keep myself busy somehow

Klaynexas
Klaynex
Klenex

....

oh lord, I think you should take a shower!

 

[Poetic Nova]

Without going into details: it really depends on my sexdrive, which had a new peak a few months ago.
I only do it at home, when I'm alone in my own room. At this point it's a few times a week, but at a peak it could easily be 2/3 per day (FYI, I'm single).

Edit: Voted atleast once a week.

 

[klaynexas3]

Generally multiple times a day, if given the opportunity. Once before sleep always, maybe a few times if I have the time.

I don't have any sexual partners, so I have to keep myself busy somehow

Klaynexas
Klaynex
Klenex

....

oh lord, I think you should take a shower!

That just gives me more time to enjoy myself man, that doesn't help.

 

[SuperSuperSuperGuy]

Eh, what the hell, I'll bite. I mean, why not? I don't really have much in the way of shame when it comes to these things. I just don't talk about it unless someone asks.

How frequently do fine ladies and gentlemen of the Escapist shuck your oysters, butter your corn, stir your honey pots, or hold the sausage hostage?

At least once per day. Usually just once, though; I don't have the time to waste however long it takes to masturbate multiple times every day, so even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Sometimes, though, I do it 'cuz I get bored.

Do you require visual aid to really whip your cream? Or do you only need your imagination to frost your pastries?

Visual aid. My imagination isn't vivid enough to make things last. I mean, I might think of something that sparks a mood in the first place, but without any assistance I just kinda get tired.

At what time of the day do you baste your ham?

Before bed, usually. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and do it. Sometimes in the morning, too, if I have the day off school and can actually rest.

Have you ever liquidated your inventory in an inappropriate setting?

Nope. I've considered it, but I have the distinct feeling that, with my luck, I'd get busted and get in trouble. It's not worth it, as much as the idea might appeal to me in erotic fiction.

What do you think about while playing some 5v1?

Uh, you probably do not want to know any specifics. Trust me on that. I've got a fetish for anime. There's a lot of anime porn on the web. I've seen things that appeal to me way more than they should. Somewhat... extreme things. Let's just leave it at that.

 

[A_Parked_Car]

Spoiler

How often?

Several times a week. Sometimes as high as once a day.

Do you require visual aid to really whip your cream? Or do you only need your imagination to frost your pastries?

Usually only my imagination. "Visual aids" don't do much for me.

At what time of the day do you baste your ham?

Typically in the evening.

Have you ever liquidated your inventory in an inappropriate setting?

Nope. I have never been that desperate. I only masturbate just so that I can remain functional, I don't actually get much enjoyment out of it.

Edit: Missed one question. What do I think about?

Either a girl that I have feelings for or really nothing in particular, depends on my mood.