Poll: How Will You Give Your Kids "The Talk?"

[Julianking93]

Before we go any further:

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Now, we all know what the "talk" is and most likely, we've all had our parents try to explain the birds and the bees to us and it all ends up sounding the same way

"When a man loves a woman, they get together and do a special...hug"

You know, bullshit like that, but I'm curious to know how the Escapist will teach their children about sex.

Personally, I found out on my own and my parents never told me a damn thing and I intend on doing the same with my child. (yes singular)

 

[delet]

I probably won't do much, but if I'm ever asked "Where do babies come from" then I'll give a general outline of the subject.

Something like: "When a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they come together and make a decision to make a baby. Then, over the next 9 months the mommy gets fat and moody, but you shouldn't mention this as it's not nice. Then, at the end of the 9 months mommy and daddy go to the hospital and then come out with a baby and mommy becomes less fat."

I think that should do just fine...

 

[CowboyfromHell666]

I would just let my kid find out on their own.
It's more entertaining to me if they find out that way.
And yes, same as you, I found out on my own, then my mom explained shit to me
I never interrupted, I just wanted to know what she had to say

 

[ArcWinter]

"Hey son, you wanna know how you was made? Me and yer mammy got it on! Aw yeah!"

Then I will leave the house for 48 hours and videotape my progeny secretly to find their reactions.

Or, y'know, just tell them what they want to know when they ask, in a simple, matter-of-fact manner.

 

[rockingnic]

Straight forward. No metaphors. "Kids, I'm going to talk about sex and you're going to sit and listen."

 

[TheStickman]

I found out on my own, my children should be able to also.

 

[ma55ter_fett]

I'll leave them in a room with a computer and a piece of paper listing porn sites, as long as they are smart enough to put two and two together there will be no need for further discussion on the subject.

 

[Hazy]

"Y'see, Timmy, when a man and woman love each other very much, or when at least one of them are incredibly drunk, they decide to..."

Straightforward.
My dad didn't bullshit around about topics like this, and I fully support his method.

 

[ProfessorLayton]

I won't. They'll learn more at school. I won't have to say a word. I mean, I learned more at school/the internet that I ever would from my parents.

 

[GreyWolf257]

I will walk up to him and hand him a condom. Then I will say, in a dramatic voice, "When the time comes, you will know." Then I will walk out of the room like a badass.

If i have a daughter, I will brainwash her into believing that all men want to kill her, and I will lock her up in a bomb shelter and tell her it is the only way to be safe from the nuclear wasteland that lies above.

Those are two bi-polar reactions, but I'm sure that is how I would react.

 

[Sir Kemper]

I probably won't do much, but if I'm ever asked "Where do babies come from" then I'll give a general outline of the subject.

Something like: "When a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they come together and make a decision to make a baby. Then, over the next 9 months the mommy gets fat and moody, but you shouldn't mention this as it's not nice. Then, at the end of the 9 months mommy and daddy go to the hospital and then come out with a baby and mommy becomes less fat."

I think that should do just fine...

Better make sure mommy's not listening to that conversation.

anyway, personally i'll just explain it truthfully, or i'll get one of those children's books that explain it, and sit down with my kid and read it with them.


That is, IF i have kids.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

I think my parents went about it the right way. When I was fast approaching puberty, before the sex ed lessons at school started, they gave me the introduction to the talk, in which I was told that in the next few years I was going to go through some changes, some would be sudden, others would be gradual, but I would be growing up. (it helped that I was already doing a lot of singing, so they started with the voice breaking thing)

Skip forwards a few years to when I am going through puberty, and I get stage two, which is exclusively held with my dad, about boy-specific changes.

There was a follow up session a few months later, but by then I was already pretty up on things.

So yeah, start with a basic 'some shit's gonna go down' talk, then later, (if necessary) move onto a more specific talk, and if I have a daughter, wifey-poo can give the talk, assuming we're still together. If we're separated and by some miracle I have managed to secure the child (only a 10% chance for a male, but fingers crossed) then I will handle it as best I can, probably with the aid of a female friend.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

At this point I'd just like to HAVE kids, as for "the talk", I'll cross that bridge if/when I come to it.

 

[LivingInStereo]

Same way I learned. Catholic School and Boy Meets World.

 

[Pimppeter2]

I won't. Simply, society has evolved to a stage that kids find out about sex when their young as hell. Talk to a random 8 year old, they're not sweet little innocents anymore.

 

[Twad]

I will before the internet does.

 

[Nyan Cat]

I wil let them find the internet. It shall teach them the way to sexy time.

 

[WolfThomas]

When around 15 if a boy

Me: you know about sex?
Them: yes dad
Me: you know about protection?
Them: yes dad
Me: you getting any?
Them: no dad
Me: why not?

However if its a daughter there will be countless talks and multiple hand crushingly threatening handshakes of prospective partners.