Poll: If you were spanked as a child, do you think it made you a better person?

[Verlander]

I no friends who were punished physically as a child, and nobody I know went on to become an arsehole, bad person, or morally bankrupt.

I don't think the way you turn out has anything to do with spanking or suchlike, I think it has a lot more to do with your surroundings and parenting, and a single spank wont define it either way.

However, parents shouldn't need to commit to spanking. A reliance on this could end up being far to acceptable, and as always there will be people who take it too far. For this reason, I cannot forgive spanking or agree with someone who thinks it's "alright". For many people it's a slippery slope, and children cannot fight back, nor can they inform others when it gets taken too far.

Negative emotional connections can lead to rebellion, angst, and rejection of authority figures as well as family in general, so if you are already actively spanking your child you might want to look a bit further into the future and think "how can this turn round a bite me in the ass", or "will my children resent me in the future for my actions now". This can tear apart homes, and I assume that you all love your children enough to not want that. Sure the little brats can wind you up to the point where you can't think clearly anymore, but that is surely the best time to not be interacting with them. Punishment by removal of freedoms and luxuries is far more effective, as we are all, by nature, greedy sods.

A lot of people feel self justified about spanking because they may have experienced it, and it didn't make them turn out to be bad people, but does that amke it right? Besides from severity, what is the difference between spanking or physically punishing a child for breaking a rule, and the more drastic measures taken in other countries, like the scarring of women faces? Sure the punishment is more severe for a different kind of rule breaking, but really, if scale of severity is how you make your moral judgements, you are pretty much a ****. Where there is physical violence, should be replaced understanding, acceptance, tolerance, and an intellectually superior way of handling a situation. Fists are used when the brain has run out of options.

At the end of the day, children are shit, but if you, as a parent, need to spank, then you too are shit. If you think it's the only way, or a good way to control children, I suggest you don't have any

 

[Ganthrinor]

If nothing else, a spanking shows a child that you are capable and willing to follow up on promises of punishment. A threat unsupported is hollow and false and children are quick to pick up on this. Oftentimes if a child knows that a parent is willing and able to exact punishment for misdeeds a mere warning is all that is needed. From a disciplinary standpoint it is better to be feared than loved. The challenge for a parent is to strike a balance between the two and raise a child that fears punishment yet knows that same punishment comes from a place of love from the parent.

In short: Don't just beat your kids, talk to them too. Don't just talk to your kids, beat them too.

 

[Taldeer]

Hmm? I'm not saying "make your kid want to die", if that's what you're implying.

How do you know where their mental stretching point is?

I don't think anyone wants their child to die, but the pouring on of psychological pressure tends to be the major cause of self-harm.

As I said before, I wasn't spanked, but I still ended up hating myself and wanting to die a lot more often than not. Is there even a connection? I don't know. But at this point, I'm willing to consider anything.

 

[Batfred]

I was smacked as a child yeah (spanked as a word bugs me >_>) but only when I was young (under 5). And yeah, it made me realise early on what not to do around other people etc.

I believe it is an effective way to communicate to young children who otherwise lack the mental capacity of rationality and reasoning the basic do's and don't's of life.

When children start gaining more of a knoweldge aboout the world around them, switch to punishments such as grounding ect. which will give them time to reflect on why they were wrong.

TL;DR. Yes and yes.

Best argument yet!

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

but I still ended up hating myself and wanting to die a lot more often than not.

That's just basic puberty. Everyone gets that. It's shit.

The thing that gets you through it though is knowing that someone cares enough for you. And by that point, you do have some sense of rationalisation of other's actions, so although you won't agree with your parents, you can perhaps see why they did something.

But if they preyed on your fears...that's a betrayal that can tip the edge. Hot sauce just makes you want to get them back.

 

[Batfred]

As I said before, I wasn't spanked, but I still ended up hating myself and wanting to die a lot more often than not. Is there even a connection? I don't know. But at this point, I'm willing to consider anything.

I don't think that there is a connection. Take me and my friends as an average cross section of society (albeit we were teenagers 15-20 years ago - although I don't think that so much has changed in that time).

I can safely say that nearly all of us considered the old "wouldn't it be better if were just not here at all anymore" point of view at some point. I don't think that it has anythng to do with how we were told of or how shitty we were as kids. Some of us were grounded, some of us got a smack and some of us got the even worse "I am disappointed with you son" speech.

I honestly think that it is all to do with teenage hormones, being in love with a girl that doesn't know you exist or whatever else I used to moan and write crap poetry about. I know that I hated me for many years and even now as a adult I get those same old feelings when things aren't great with the wife or the finances don't balance or whatever.

Here's a challenge, find me at least 2 teenagers out of 10 that didn't consider it at some point. It won't be easy if they are being honest with you.

 

[Taldeer]

but I still ended up hating myself and wanting to die a lot more often than not.

That's just basic puberty. Everyone gets that. It's shit.

The thing that gets you through it though is knowing that someone cares enough for you. And by that point, you do have some sense of rationalisation of other's actions, so although you won't agree with your parents, you can perhaps see why they did something.

But if they preyed on your fears...that's a betrayal that can tip the edge. Hot sauce just makes you want to get them back.

I'm not saying it's out of the question, but I'm 25, so I think puberty is pretty much behind me. I do recall puberty being the absolute shits though, so yeah, you're right about that. Problem is, 10 years later, I feel like that again, and have been for the past 2-3 years, just no pimples...

 

[Soveru]

My parents never spanked me. They used a rattan cane, usually on my hand, and I turned out fine

 

[Serenegoose]

I was - but it didn't change me, except to make me angrier. Every time I think back to when my parents hit me it makes my blood boil. I'm not sure how that's a positive impact.

 

[coldfrog]

I was spanked as a child, not often (as apparently I was very good most of the time) but there's no rational reason presented to suggest it had either a positive or negative effect on me. My maturation has to, at least for some amount, fall on the actual parenting of the parents. I think spanking can be an effective punishment, but I don't think it is definitively the cause of a positive or negative adulthood. If you can come up with an equally effective deterrent then that should work equally as well.

 

[Sandytimeman]

Yes I was spanked as a child and I completely understand why my parents did it. I mean for the most part if I did something mildly bad I would just have to sit in time out. But, if I had done something really bad such as lying or worse then I would get a spanking.

Spanking is there because young minds need to know there are consequences to actions, thus allowing the child to understand that certain actions bring on consequences, such as lying.

When your older you understand how this effects people and can understand how and why those actions are wrong. But as a child you do not process the necessary physiological tools to discern the difference without punishment.

 

[Taldeer]

I don't think that there is a connection.

[...]

Here's a challenge, find me at least 2 teenagers out of 10 that didn't consider it at some point. It won't be easy if they are being honest with you.

Ok, thanks for that, I think you're right. I feel like I'm grasping at straws with this line of inquiry at this point, and the no-connection answer makes more sense than the convoluted possibility of there actually being a major connection.

As for the challenge, there's no contest there, I'm sure you've got it right, I remember how I was in my teenage years and how my classmates were. We didn't have the word emo back then, but that pretty much sums it up

 

[Mistermixmaster]

I wasn't spanked as a child, I was "dragged" to my room and locked in for an hour or so, if not longer sometimes, depending on what I've done. (By "dragged" I mean lifted up by my parents by one of my hands, put down somewhat roughly in my room and had to stay there). Got real-close to disjointing my shoulder a lot of times and I got a solid mark that I've had since I was 5 on my right arm ('bout 3-4 cm over my elbow, on the lateral side), but if people ask I just dismiss it as a birth-mark.

If it made me a better person? I dunno, it might be that which "changed" me from your "average Joe" and into a HSP, or it might just be that I was an HSP from the start.

TL;DR: Didn't get spanked, got worse than that. Staying neutral to this matter, mostly because of me not knowing the effects of spanking.

 

[trollnystan]

snip

What you are talking about right here is just straight up child abuse. Spanking is slapping your child's butt, whipping your child with a belt or re-breaking their arm is considered abuse. That is how it is here in America at least.

Well, she didn't re-break his arm thank goodness, but yes I know there is a difference between this and what is called spanking. I'm sorry I didn't make that clear. But I still think that any kind of corporal punishment is wrong. Even if it's just a few swats on the butt it can still send the message to kids that violence is the way to go when settling disputes. There are of course exceptions, and I do know that spanking can work favourably in many cases. I just don't see why other methods that work just as well but might require more effort on behalf of the adult can't be used.

Huh, "more effort". Maybe I answered myself there...

 

[Boxes_Of_Boxes]

I got spanked once when i was like 3 for running across a busy road. So it made me a less dead person.

 

[Lord_Nemesis]

I voted yes, without physical discipline, I would not of had the values I have today. Respect for others, self-control etc. I feel sorry for the parents who don't physcially discipline their children because they are letting them down and I feel sorry for the kids because they are not learning the lessons they need to.

 

[wammnebu]

i was usually slapped ,not spanked. same thing i guess

its funny but you can see the personalities based on their experiences

the former are submissive and talk of honnor and respect
the latter are angry outbursting on principles of happiness

thanks for the food for thought

 

[Brandon237]

Yes I was spanked and yes I think it Helped make me a decently good child.
My brother on the other hand is both ADD and gets less punishment, so he is far from being a good child.

 

[astrav1]

I was as a method of discipline. I fully support it so long as it is not full on child abuse. A good beating would probably help this generation quite a bit.

 

[The Funslinger]

I was spanked as a kid. What I agree with is not doing it hard, just once or twice a time when they've done something bad. It's more about the sharp shock it instills, not pain.

What I do not agree with is actually physically harming your child, continuing for an extended period of time, or doing anything other than spanking, or maybe a rough tap on the head.