Poll: Internet Dating
- Thread starter Fairee
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Most girls that i've met online are either attention whores, looking for a free meal and movie or are fat and desperate..
But in saying that.. you have to start somewhere.. it's a great way to level up your Dating skills.
But in saying that.. you have to start somewhere.. it's a great way to level up your Dating skills.
Saying "I don't want to use the word..." does not magically absolve you from the ramifications of using the word: if anything, it makes it worse because you knew what you were going to say could be taken as an insult, yet you still felt the need to say it anyway. Unless you have Tourette's, you have no excuse. Didn't your mom ever tell you "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"?Meta Like That said:
Nobody likes being called 'desperate'. Nobody. So all you were doing was having a laugh at someone elses expense, and that's a pet-peeve of mine.
Your assuming that arrogance means flaunting or boasting. It doesn't. Smug superiority is arrogance as well... and that's how you came off, judging someone else to be desperate because they asked for advice about online dating. Also, I work at a major software company, and I promise you, I see geeks every day who are overtly arrogant about their trophy wives, apparently refusing to see that, the majority of the time, the woman married them for their earning potential. Are they not thankful? Yes, they are. Do they not wonder how they got so lucky? I'm sure they do, sometimes. But they still prominently display the family photos, or talk (loudly) about the cosmetic surgery their wife is having.Meta Like That said:
That's an entirely legitimate and logical point of view to have; too bad it wasn't what your first post stated. The only message that conveyed was "You're asking about online dating? How pathetic." Now you might get away with busting your friends' balls about something like that, but a random poster in a public forum? Someone who you clearly don't know, since you referred to them as 'OP' and not by name? I don't think you can claim to just be kidding around. Sorry.Meta Like That said:
It's easy to look down on alternate dating sources when you're young because of old sterotypes. Maybe it's even true that it IS only for weirdos and desparates when you are young. In high school and even college, you're constantly surrounded by eligible people and you generally have a lot of free time which makes things fairly easy.
But when you are out of school and work all day with only the same handful of people, most of the people you do meet are married and/or have kids, and you don't have an abundance of spare time to go out and meet strangers in the first place, it's a completely different story.
Also, when you get older, your attention starts to shift from "the chase" and the "new beginnings" to finding someone you actually want to keep around indefinitely. At that point, it's pretty damn nice to be able to skip a lot of the ceremonial bullshit and games. Why hunt for needle in a haystack when you can go to a needle store and when you don't care so much about the fun of the search anymore anyway?
But when you are out of school and work all day with only the same handful of people, most of the people you do meet are married and/or have kids, and you don't have an abundance of spare time to go out and meet strangers in the first place, it's a completely different story.
Also, when you get older, your attention starts to shift from "the chase" and the "new beginnings" to finding someone you actually want to keep around indefinitely. At that point, it's pretty damn nice to be able to skip a lot of the ceremonial bullshit and games. Why hunt for needle in a haystack when you can go to a needle store and when you don't care so much about the fun of the search anymore anyway?
Very well put.kawligia said:
In fact, to the younger folks I would say this: if you are in school still, you are knee-deep in potential friends and romantic partners. Don't let your fear and or feelings of social awkwardness get in the way-- you are not as ugly or as big of a misfit as you think.
The trick is to find activities that will put you with other people who share your interests: it's easy to talk to people with whom you share a common passion. Join an A/V club or a gamer group or a writer's workshop. Volunteer for a cause you feel strongly about. While Internet Dating is completely acceptable, if you have the opportunity to meet someone offline, your chances for a successful relationship are much better.
Oh, and remember this, even tho it's very difficult to accept at the moment: Regret lasts much, much longer than humiliation.
If it wasn't for the internet, myspace to be exact, I wouldn't have met my fiance. She was searching through people who went to our college and came across me. She recognized me from working in the computer lab and decided to say hi. The next day when she came into the computer lab, I saw her, started up a conversation, and 3 years later...we're living together. Who woulda thunk...
That's not exactly internet dating, but more...internet finding.
That's not exactly internet dating, but more...internet finding.
What is the difference between meeting someone in an internet chatroom and meeting someone in a bar? Ok, you don't really know them while talking online but do you really know them while potted out of your head underneath a pool table?
Yes I have joined a dating site and no I am in no way socially awkward. i was raised by 3 women, frankly I;m surprised I'm straight. I find talking to girls to be very easy. here's the skinny on dating sites.Geek@Heart said:
99% of the guys you meet on those sites are there to get laid. That is all, that is it. I know, cause i was one of them and I knew many others.
To to the men. In case you weren't aware Plentyoffish.com is a GOLDMINE of pussy. Just kep digging, you cannot go wrong.
Sure, I was on a couple of dating sites. Had some pretty hot meaningless sex with some random woman. Then I desubscribed when I started going out with my current girlfriend of three years. Althoguh ti has to be said I already knew her on the scene and wasn't an internet hook up.
Well I'm sorry you think the internet here is so much serious business, pancho. If the OP has issues with my post, I'd like to hear it from 'em.solidstatemind said:
Personally I like the aspect of online dating (eventually meeting, none of this only online nonsense) because it allows you to get to know the person on an individual level, verse based solely on appearance. It is quite beneficial for someone such as I, who is completely apathetic to dating whatsoever and has only been attracted to girls whom he became friends with long before any attraction took place.
Had a brief fling with a girl via the net once, learned cybering is the most boring waste of time imaginable (she loved it, I meanwhile surfed the wet, specifically Gfaqs. Yeah I know, I was that bored.) Like another girl I have known for years however she isn't into the online deal. Oh well, makes no difference to me, still like to meet her one day though.
Had a brief fling with a girl via the net once, learned cybering is the most boring waste of time imaginable (she loved it, I meanwhile surfed the wet, specifically Gfaqs. Yeah I know, I was that bored.) Like another girl I have known for years however she isn't into the online deal. Oh well, makes no difference to me, still like to meet her one day though.
It's not chivalry, you doofus, it's called common fucking courtesy; if you can't see that, then haven't you just illustrated my point about arrogant cocks? Hmmm?Meta Like That said:
And like I said, callous, arbitrary insults are a pet peeve of mine, particularly when the slingers of said shit are hiding behind the anonymity afforded by the Internet. I get even more riled up when people try to act like it is somehow expected and/or their right to engage in that sort of behavior. It's not, for the simple fact that if everyone did, the level of discourse would be reduced to that of an elementary school playground in short order. Personally, I like the Escapist forums, and I'd rather not see that happen.
By the way, trying to fob it by saying "well, the OP hasn't said anything" is irrelevant. I thought you were a rude jerk, and I called you on it. At that point, it ceased to be the OP's concern.
You have attempted to excuse yourself... unsuccessfully, and attempted to weasel your way out of it-- also unsuccessfully. This is the point at which a mature person would say the simple words: "I'm sorry," along with some variation of 'I didn't realize how demeaning/insulting/cruel that sounded'.
No, scratch that: a mature person would've apologized immediately, rather than trying to defend the indefensible. But meh. I suppose that we'll have to agree to disagree on whether or not you're a tool. I will, however, be certain to ignore anything you post from here on out.
Have a nice day!
(Oh, and btw, you get bonus 'FAIL' points for not noticing my avatar... :/ )
I met my wife on an internet dating site. As long as you know what you are getting into, take your time, and weed out the wierdos, it is possible to find someone. We talked on-line for about three months before we met in person. Then we dated (actually went out to movies and dinners and other typical things) for a year before I proposed. Three years later we married (I know it seems long in comparison to the rest, but we decided to wait to get married till she finished college). June will be our 1 year anniversary. It's really no different than any other method like speed dating, going to bars, or having your friends hook you up on a blind date. Both of us enjoyed the chance to feel each other out before actually meeting, which made our first meeting less awkward but did raise the anticipation level. Yes there are perverts and embarrasment risks, but it's really no more embarrasing than walking up to a strange person in the bar and using a line on them.